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You'll really hate this one, but suppose you have a guy who wants to be mongamous and wants to keep his family together and loves his wife, but she's decided that she's not going to have sex anymore. Ever. So is he supposed to be celibate for the rest of his life? The other woman can make it possible for him to stay in his marriage.
This is a very good point. And also a sad one, some people might have a great marriage, but one partner (and it goes both ways) decides they don't want sex anymore, or they only want it like once a year . I don't think anyone should have to be celibate the rest of their life and that is an awful thing to do to your partner. (AND NO I'm not talking about people who were in an accident and/or paralyzed or are not physcially able to have sex). If I was ever in that position, I would tell my husband either we get counseling and fix this problem or I'm getting it somewhere else. Same with him, if I didn't want it anymore, I would tell him he could go get it elsewhere.
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Originally Posted by dksun
Please, realize that we're all human, that all situations are not black and white, and try to have a little compassion and understanding. I think she was brave to post this.
Next time just post under your original username you already have instead of making up a new username.
You're making a lot of assumptions -- all married men who cheat are bad, the other woman is evil, the wife is a wonderful, innocent person who's being wronged.
Sorry, all married men who cheat are SOBs and the women who cheat with them are traitors to their sex and w h o r e s.
For example, seeing a married man can work really well if you don't want a full-time relationship, like your independence, don't want someone who's going to run your life. Maybe you don't want him to leave his wife, ever.
If you don't mind being a w h o r e.
You'll really hate this one, but suppose you have a guy who wants to be mongamous and wants to keep his family together and loves his wife, but she's decided that she's not going to have sex anymore. Ever. So is he supposed to be celibate for the rest of his life? The other woman can make it possible for him to stay in his marriage.
Then the man is a fool to agree to stay in a hollow marriage and the experts say your doing the children no favor at all. Again, your just trying to justify wrong doing.
Please, realize that we're all human, that all situations are not black and white, and try to have a little compassion and understanding. I think she was brave to post this.
I am human but I would never behave in this dishonest, immoral fashion. I have been given the opportunity at a time when my marriage was in the toilet and solace in another mans arms would have been easy. BUT I never even thought of it.
I think cheating with a married man makes her a coward and a w h o r e. I think she posted it here in the mistaken notion that someone would make fun of the wife and give her some emotional support for what she knew was the wrong action to take.
I am human but I would never behave in this dishonest, immoral fashion. I have been given the opportunity at a time when my marriage was in the toilet and solace in another mans arms would have been easy. BUT I never even thought of it.
I think cheating with a married man makes her a coward and a w h o r e. I think she posted it here in the mistaken notion that someone would make fun of the wife and give her some emotional support for what she knew was the wrong action to take.
Nah..she just needed validation. Hope things work out for her.
Just walk away, he is not going to leave her. He would have done it by now if he was going too. You are his piece of A$$ thats it. You are allowing him to have to many pleasures, he is praying your weakness. YES, you are weak. You are treating this man like he is so great that he deserves to have the affections of two women. You will always be the joke with his buddies. They might be nice to your face, but behind your back they talk about what a dirty little piece of A$$ you really are. They also talk about how stupid you are to actually think that this guy is actually going to leave his wife. He has the best of both worlds, you give him the kinky sex, I'm sure, or he would not keep coming back. His wife cleans, cooks and takes care of the kids and you can bet she is having sex with him too, just not as much as you are. So, you can move on and get your own life, be the "entree" or you can continue to always be the "side dish".
Actually I know I'm not the only one in this situaltion. I guess I'm just the only one to have the guts to post about it. I know there are many others and you know what? I don't give a sh$#t about anyone's thoughts of me. Thought there were more people out there who had the guts I did to post what I'm doing. Makes me a bad person? Think what you want. I know that I'm a very good, intelligent, well-rounded person and although maybe what I'm doing is wrong but oh well I say, "his wife ought to know how to keep him happy." So you all can kiss my a@# that have something bad to say and for those that don't have the guts to post the truth as I did. Oh well.
If you didn't care what people thought about you , you wouldn't be here defending yourself.
OMG, just do the right thing and tell your sleazebag boyfriend no more dating (read: sex) until he leaves his wife.
By the way, I don't get this "Traitor To Her Sex" mentality. Is she talking about supporting gender inequality in pay and the workplace? Is she trying to repeal women's right to vote?
Nope. She's just banging the husband of another woman, which is an absolute wrong. But the "Traitor To One's Sex" label implies that it's Men Vs. Women in a vicious cage match to the death. So if a man sleeps with another man's wife, is he a "Traitor To His Sex"? Given the fact that women all over the planet are continuously trying to pry men from their current wives, how do you assume that women are patently morally superior to men?
Thank you "mari4him". Your advise is well taken. I guess I never thought of the support system thing and that was exactly what I was looking for on here. Certainly didn't mean to start a war against myself.
"Denise" hasn't posted for 4 days. She only wants to hear what SHE wants to hear. Maybe that will ease her "guilty" conscience.
Denise, look at this from another point of view. What is it in you that makes you feel that you should put up with this? I know you love him, but YOU DESERVE BETTER. If he loved you, I mean REALLY loves you, he would want better for you.
Maybe what you need is some distance to put things in perspective. Ask yourself this question, 'If this was my daughter in this situation, what would I advise her?'
It's tough and no matter what anyone else says here this is your life and no one can live it for you.
I say you make him choose, but keep in mind, if he did it to her, he'll likely do it to you.
"Denise" hasn't posted for 4 days. She only wants to hear what SHE wants to hear. Maybe that will ease her "guilty" conscience.
Maybe.
Hopefully though, she has just taken the advice given, left this guy in her dust and has turned to more productive things, seeking out her support system in a more practical fashion than sitting behind a computer monitor reading a bunch of stranger's words while feeling miserable for herself.
I hope it is that and that she is actually going about her life with work/school/friends whatever, and keeping her mind otherwise occupied so she can get over whatever emotional destruction this whole situation has resulted in her life.
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. I don't think anyone should have to be celibate the rest of their life and that is an awful thing to do to your partner. (AND NO I'm not talking about people who were in an accident and/or paralyzed or are not physcially able to have sex). If I was ever in that position, I would tell my husband either we get counseling and fix this problem or I'm getting it somewhere else. Same with him, if I didn't want it anymore, I would tell him he could go get it elsewhere. 
