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Old 03-27-2009, 08:13 AM
Location: Fort Mill, SC
1,105 posts, read 3,634,883 times
Reputation: 609


I haven't read the entire thread so excuse me if any of this has been said before. I know all of this is easier said than done though.

To quote Dr. Phil which whether or not you like him, this is so true "if he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you."

I too am going to put all ethical and moral reasons aside. What you are doing is NO different than a woman staying with a man that hits her. You are staying in an unhealthy relationship because you love him, because you think he can change, etc. Sound familiar? You are staying with someone that does not put your relationship first and that is no real relationship. If you have been one of those woman that can never understand why another woman can stay with a man that abuses her, well you are that woman. He is abusing you just not with his fists.
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Old 03-27-2009, 09:44 AM
Location: Connecticut
1,461 posts, read 3,472,457 times
Reputation: 1613
Default Dating a Married Man

Before we even get started here with advice, know this...I am a woman whose ex husband was running amuck with a married woman...both of them married and cheating on their spouses. So, you are not going to get hell from me, rather a perspective as to what takes place because I do consider myself at age 61 to have a good idea of what to say to you.

RUN like hell...do not pass GO, do not collect your $200.00 and try to keep all the GET OUT OF JAIL FREE cards you pick up along the way. Unless this "married man" is entirely dedicated to ending his marriage, then he is totally using you. It sounds to me like his wife has already found out and is going to be damned if she lets him go because of you. Personally, I couldn't run fast enough from my cheating husband and took my son with me when I did leave.

What makes you think that even if you do get with this married man at some point that he won't cheat on you too? After all, he is getting away with it now isn't he? He knows all the strategic moves now doesn't he?? Don't be foolish..sometimes simply loving this guy will not be enough to keep him with you. He is getting his jollys being with two women.

Lastly...have a little more self respect for YOUR sake. Looking in the mirror in the morning knowing what is going on has to be difficult for you as your post indicates that you don't want anyone to give you a hard time so you do know what you are doing is not right.

My idea of living a happy life is to live and let live, and don't step on anyone's toes along the way. Never be too miserable with yourself or your life that you cannot say you are sorry for your actions.

Dump this guy............he has not intentions on leaving his wife.
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Old 03-27-2009, 09:51 AM
Location: Bergen County, NJ
1,603 posts, read 2,900,765 times
Reputation: 1819
I could never date a married, I think it's so mean- Forget him, what about what he has at home- Even if his wife is cheating also, it's just wrong on every level. Also, not to mention STDS, self-respect, sharing someone that belongs to someone else per the vows he exchanged ...
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Old 04-01-2009, 11:11 AM
1 posts, read 1,662 times
Reputation: 10
Lightbulb True and real?

Just put yourself in the wife's position - how would you feel? If you think it hurts, chances are she's 100% hurt too! Why make it so harsh on her? Perhaps your relationship with him is only physical? Take control of your own emotions. If he can do it to his wife, like what Connecticut Pam said he maybe able to do it to you too even after you guys get together.

[URL="http://onlinedating.simplifying.it"]Dating for Love Match & Relationship Simplified[/URL]
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Old 04-01-2009, 11:12 AM
2,646 posts, read 7,510,827 times
Reputation: 1460
The only thing I will say is they never leave.
they say the will, but there is always en excuse of why they wont or cant right now.

Leave him and find an available man. TRUST ME, it's what is best.
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Old 04-01-2009, 12:05 PM
38,021 posts, read 27,854,613 times
Reputation: 22051
Originally Posted by denise012864 View Post
I've been dating a married man for almost 6 months now and am in love with him. I see him very often and he treats me very well. The problem is I've been in his wife's shoes and she found out about us after a couple of months but doesn't know we're still seeing each other. He has attemptede (so he says) to leave her twice then maintains things go deeper than he thought. I tell him I'll lose in the end and he always tells me "never say never". I am too in love to walk away but am tired of this life with him the way it is. Please don't be harsh as I'm only looking for advise. I already know what I'm doing is wrong and immoral.
Well, you won't leave him so here is my advice.

1) Put a glass on top of your dresser. Put a penny in every time you get together and have sex. Put a nickle in every time you get together and don't have sex. Check the glass in a month or two.

2) Call your ex and apologize to him for all the bad things you said to him when he cheated on you. Apparently, he didn't do anything wrong after all and whatever hurt he caused you wasn't his fault.

3) Put aside $20-40 every week for future counseling bills.

4) Visualize him having sex with his wife...because he still is.
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Old 04-01-2009, 08:52 PM
527 posts, read 1,468,570 times
Reputation: 269
I had a huge crush on a married man (kinda still do) but I am not going there...and he has a crush on me.

I know if I just said ok, we would have an affair. But no matter how vulnerable I feel now, that will be the worst thing I could do. I eventually met his kids and wife...wow, felt weird.

I have to work with him a lot and it sucks...I am actively searching to meet someone because I need a distraction quick!

I will never-never go there
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Old 04-13-2009, 06:52 PM
5 posts, read 12,843 times
Reputation: 10
Default cheaters, liars, creeps, waste of air and space, etc

plus ur the loser in the end, if he's cheating now he'll cheat later, if he's lying now, he'll lie later, don't fall for it betrayal is a horrible thing to have to live thru, my ex is still lying and cheating and more people are going to get hurt, cuz he doesn't give a damn... good luck
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Old 04-29-2009, 03:24 PM
12 posts, read 14,664 times
Reputation: 17
Here is a quote from Gods word itself maybe you can argue with him (Math:5.28, But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery in his heart ) this law goes for men and women alike and did you hear that even LOOKS with lust so you porn users watch out you are guilty also of adultery if your married you said you know what you are doing is wrong and immoral then why are you doing it ? are you saying your feelings are more important than Gods law and dont you beleive you are going to be judged for your sin when you die the bible says it is appointed to man once to die then comes his judgement I think it is very selfish to make our own feelings more imortant than other peoples (when they are not) I garantee the pain his wife is feeling is far more intense than yours will ever be I wish you would think about her for just one second she is his wife and you are the intruder in this picture whether you like it or not do the right thing and leave this situation and find your own man rebound relationships rarely work out any way
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Old 04-29-2009, 03:31 PM
Location: Tennessee bound...someday
2,515 posts, read 3,600,672 times
Reputation: 7084
Sometimes paragraphs and punctuation usage can come in handy.

Jus' sayin'......
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