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Old 07-17-2008, 07:47 AM
 
Location: Milwaukee, wisconsin
10 posts, read 47,104 times
Reputation: 35

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I've been dating a married man for almost 6 months now and am in love with him. I see him very often and he treats me very well. The problem is I've been in his wife's shoes and she found out about us after a couple of months but doesn't know we're still seeing each other. He has attemptede (so he says) to leave her twice then maintains things go deeper than he thought. I tell him I'll lose in the end and he always tells me "never say never". I am too in love to walk away but am tired of this life with him the way it is. Please don't be harsh as I'm only looking for advise. I already know what I'm doing is wrong and immoral.
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Old 07-17-2008, 07:48 AM
 
14,616 posts, read 15,422,553 times
Reputation: 24240
If you want advice, here it is: Walk away.
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Old 07-17-2008, 07:53 AM
 
542 posts, read 1,489,538 times
Reputation: 303
Well, all I can say is it will only hurt more the longer you hang on.
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Old 07-17-2008, 07:57 AM
 
Location: USA
1,244 posts, read 2,779,539 times
Reputation: 765
Advice: Walk away from this relationship. It is wrong and should never have started to begin with. He is married and he either needs to work things out with his wife and fix their marriage or end it. He is having his cake and eating it too, enjoying both the married life (with his wife) and the single life (with you). What makes you think he won't do this to you one day if you were to end up together?
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Old 07-17-2008, 08:00 AM
 
24,223 posts, read 22,323,852 times
Reputation: 14461
Quote:
Originally Posted by denise012864 View Post
I've been dating a married man for almost 6 months now and am in love with him. I see him very often and he treats me very well. The problem is I've been in his wife's shoes and she found out about us after a couple of months but doesn't know we're still seeing each other. He has attemptede (so he says) to leave her twice then maintains things go deeper than he thought. I tell him I'll lose in the end and he always tells me "never say never". I am too in love to walk away but am tired of this life with him the way it is. Please don't be harsh as I'm only looking for advise. I already know what I'm doing is wrong and immoral.
I was married to two men who ran around on me...and quit frankly and meaning no disrespect...I think your actions are deplorable, non-thinking, selfish, and irresponsible, not to mention, self destructive.

I tell you true, if I had a girlfriend who was running around with a married man...I would not be her friend any longer. I wouldn't say anything, but just start pushing her away. Why? Because I wouldn't trust her.

You may very well be a very nice gal, but your certainly not thinking.

They always say they're leaving, and then have an excuse for not. And you want to believe them.

I want you to think about something very important. Lets say, he leaves her, gets a divorce and marrys you...do you honestly believe you could ever trust him again NOT to do the same thing to you? And do you honestly believe he wouldn't think the same about you?

I have met and known many couples this has happened to. One young man in particular...he left a beautiful wife and child, got divorced, and married the gal he was running with...guess what...he can't go anywhere without her, she is calling him constantly, he is very unhappy....and I'm sure, wishes he'd have never left his wife. He had it good...but bought this upon himself...and his new wife, will never be able to trust him...I wouldn't and as a friend, I love the man

Big mistake...

And there are an awful lot of woman out there, who very much dislike the other woman...did you ever stop to realize, how many other lives your affecting, hurting, destroying?????? You will destroy them for life...especially if they have children. What about his kids, if he has any....?

Lady, this is the very best way to hurt yourself, and a whole lot of other lives for the rest of their lives....the guys no good, otherwise, he wouldn't be seeing you on the side. And he is never going to be able to be with you on holidays, birthdays, your friends, his friends.

I can guarentee you...this will bring a whole lot of people, saddness and despair.
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Old 07-17-2008, 08:08 AM
 
1,884 posts, read 3,944,432 times
Reputation: 2658
Quote:
Originally Posted by denise012864 View Post
I've been dating a married man for almost 6 months now and am in love with him. I see him very often and he treats me very well. The problem is I've been in his wife's shoes and she found out about us after a couple of months but doesn't know we're still seeing each other. He has attemptede (so he says) to leave her twice then maintains things go deeper than he thought. I tell him I'll lose in the end and he always tells me "never say never". I am too in love to walk away but am tired of this life with him the way it is. Please don't be harsh as I'm only looking for advise. I already know what I'm doing is wrong and immoral.
Don't be harsh? Tough $h!t, your break'n up a marriage! Maybe you NEED harsh! WTF is wrong w/you?! Get out NOW and never talk/see him again. You know its wrong, been in his wifes shoes, yet you keep going asking for people to say it's ok. You get no sympathy or respect from me, your a cheating _____.

Fix it by leaving, now.

I gotta laugh, you know it's wrong and immoral yet you keep going on w/it. Inconsiderate as helll.
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Old 07-17-2008, 08:32 AM
 
Location: SUNNY AZ
4,589 posts, read 11,596,362 times
Reputation: 1830
yea girl......walk away.....it's obviously not love, and if he would cheat on his wife with you what makes you think he won't do the same to you?? Your setting yourself up for disaster here.....there are so many amazing guys out there.....i know that sounds cliche but there really are.....of course it will sting when you first let him go but won't you feel better about yourself?? Bad Karma is not fun.......just walk, like now.
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Old 07-17-2008, 09:49 AM
 
Location: USA
1,244 posts, read 2,779,539 times
Reputation: 765
Had to give out several reps on this thread for the responses. It's nice to see that there are people out there that are not afraid to speak out against such matters.
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Old 07-17-2008, 09:57 AM
 
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,309 posts, read 32,640,727 times
Reputation: 7017
Quote:
Originally Posted by denise012864 View Post
I've been dating a married man for almost 6 months now and am in love with him. I see him very often and he treats me very well. The problem is I've been in his wife's shoes and she found out about us after a couple of months but doesn't know we're still seeing each other. He has attemptede (so he says) to leave her twice then maintains things go deeper than he thought. I tell him I'll lose in the end and he always tells me "never say never". I am too in love to walk away but am tired of this life with him the way it is. Please don't be harsh as I'm only looking for advise. I already know what I'm doing is wrong and immoral.
Do you know what you have in common with every other woman who gets tangled up in a relationship with a married man?

He's telling you he is going to leave his wife.
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Old 07-17-2008, 10:03 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 75,831,462 times
Reputation: 22814
I know the heart canít be always controlled, so Iím gonna put aside the ethical and moral issues. Youíre aware of them.

Iím only gonna focus on your well-being. Itís essential for your own well-being to let this go! Men generally do not divorce because of an affair. As a matter of fact, the idea of getting a divorce is rarely theirs for any reason. They prefer to keep the status quo regardless of how unsatisfying the marriage is for their wives. Men are practical and they donít want to deal with the financial hit, with the loss of their creature comforts, and with spending less time with their kids. They also know theyíre not willing to change and the next marriage is not going to be any different, so why rock the boat and inconvenience themselvesÖ

If he does become available, itíll be because his wife had enough of him, not because he made a conscious decision. And even if he did, how can you really trust him? As others already mentioned, what makes you think the leopard will change his spotsÖ? Because youíre so special?! Youíre not. Youíre just one link on the chain of affairs he had and will continue having.
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