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I guess a loophole out of this is to start your own business after the kids are school age...that might be a possibility for me.
This works well as long as you're good at organizing and,kids or not, prepared to work twice as hard,depending on the business you're considering.
Even though it would sound as though I did not, I always did work.
But we had our own business and one or the other of us were always with the kids or, when they got older,immediately available to them.
If time conflicted, it was pay somebody to take over at work, not at home.
Keep in mind....if mom wants to have a career, there's nothing saying dad can't be or share parenting duties.
Awww... I'm sorry you felt that way. That's what I'm afraid of: my kids resenting me for choosing work over them.
Or they could turn out like me and resent you for NOT working. I thought my mom set a HORRIBLE example for me by staying at home when she could have helped so many people. She's a much happier person now that she works and doesn't have young kids that she feels some archaic "duty" to stay at home with. It was never a financial sacrifice in the least for my mom not to work so I'm not at all resentful about having to "do without"- I never did. I'm resentful that I had to do with an unfulfilled mother.
So yes- I would and will build my career rather than stay home full time with any children I may have. I only hope my children can realize that I would be a horrible mother to jipp them by staying at home.
Or they could turn out like me and resent you for NOT working. I thought my mom set a HORRIBLE example for me by staying at home when she could have helped so many people. She's a much happier person now that she works and doesn't have young kids that she feels some archaic "duty" to stay at home with. It was never a financial sacrifice in the least for my mom not to work so I'm not at all resentful about having to "do without"- I never did. I'm resentful that I had to do with an unfulfilled mother.
So yes- I would and will build my career rather than stay home full time with any children I may have. I only hope my children can realize that I would be a horrible mother to jipp them by staying at home.
I think I would be one of these unfulfilled women if I stayed home.
There is nothing more fufulling than staying home and raising your kids yourself - on your deathbead only your family will be what mattered.
Yes there is. Raising your kids yourself AND having a career. Who do you think is raising our kids if we aren't beause we work? Just because someone works for a living doesn't mean they don't raise their kids themselves. To say a working mom doesn't raise her kids is just insulting. My mother worked from the time I was born AND raised me. There's no one else I credit with raising me.
The idea that day care providers raise our children for us is nonsense. If day care providers raise our children for us then raising children is a 40 hour a week job that ends when kids are 5. You'd have to be really dumb to think that.
You are correct that my family wil matter on my deathbed but that will include having provided for them to the best of my ability. Which means me working so they have a better life.
Last edited by Ivorytickler; 07-20-2008 at 10:18 AM..
I think I would be one of these unfulfilled women if I stayed home.
I like the intellectual challenges of work.
I'd be one of those women who turns her kids into her project. I would be so bored at home I'd have to invent things and my kids would pay for that. Raising kids just isn't a 24 x 7 job.
I read a time study a while back that came to the conclusion there is only something like 24 minutes a day difference (averaged over 18 years which was silly of the study IMO) in the parenting done in households with a stay at home parent and households where both parent work. I would think that my day care provider making up for 24 minutes I missed wouldn't be a problem.
I didn't like that this study averaged over 18 years and did the math for the preschool years to come up with 42 minutes a day difference on work days (zero on weekends). I think my day care provider can handle that without my kids suffering one bit.
I would not know what to do with all my time if I were home 24 x 7. Hmmm? Wait a minute. I'm unemployed
I used to work part time when my youngest was a baby and all that came of it was me developing a nasty habit of posting on line because I was bored. My kids would have benefitted more from the increased income if I'd worked full time.
I hated it when my mom worked as well growing up but we had no choice. My parents were from the old era where the woman stayed home. But becase we needed more money growing up and we were dirt poor my mom had to work. I have never had the luxury of staying home with my kids. I am a single parent who went back to work after my son was only 2 weeks old and I have worked ever since. He is now 18. Same thing with my daughter I took off a short while to have her and right back to work. Sure I wished things were different but they werent. But they turned out to be good kids. My 2 cents.
I hated it when my mom worked as well growing up but we had no choice. My parents were from the old era where the woman stayed home. But becase we needed more money growing up and we were dirt poor my mom had to work. I have never had the luxury of staying home with my kids. I am a single parent who went back to work after my son was only 2 weeks old and I have worked ever since. He is now 18. Same thing with my daughter I took off a short while to have her and right back to work. Sure I wished things were different but they werent. But they turned out to be good kids. My 2 cents.
Truth is, they turn out the same whether we work or not and that's all that really matters. While we may have preferences to do things one way or the other, the end result will be the same whether we get our way or not.
I would work and save like crazy into my early 30's, and then have a few little crumb grabbers which I would stay home and raise. I would keep current as best I could so I could get back into my field when the kids were self sufficient enough (like high school).
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I'm sorry you felt that way. That's what I'm afraid of: my kids resenting me for choosing work over them.
To say a working mom doesn't raise her kids is just insulting. My mother worked from the time I was born AND raised me. There's no one else I credit with raising me. 
I would be so bored at home I'd have to invent things and my kids would pay for that. Raising kids just isn't a 24 x 7 job. 
