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View Poll Results: Who raises the children when mom works
The parents 13 48.15%
The day care provider 9 33.33%
No one, they raise themselves 5 18.52%
Voters: 27. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-21-2008, 10:19 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
22,392 posts, read 17,165,578 times
Reputation: 11781

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One of my pet peeves is people who say "I stayed home to raise my kids myself" as if working parents don't raise their own kids. This phrase was used in a post below. I'm curious as to who people think is raising the kids when mom works
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Old 07-21-2008, 10:48 AM
 
Location: USA
1,246 posts, read 2,134,262 times
Reputation: 739
I can't honestly answer any way in the poll as each situation may be different. It depends on the family dynamics and what actually takes place.

There are situations where both parents work and the children are in daycare etc, yet both of those parents are still fully involved in the raising of their children. On the flip side, there are even situations where one of the parents may be at home and that child is still raising themselves basically.

Some parents work outside the home and have no choice but to put their children in daycare, however when they are home, they are very actively involved in raising their children and instilling all the things needed to assure they are raised properly. However, there are situations and families where this is not the case. Both parents work outside the home and have no choice but to put the children in daycare, yet when home, either because of being to tired or simply not caring, the children are left to raise themselves.

There is just no clear cut answer to this question, in my opinion. It depends on the family.
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Old 07-21-2008, 10:52 AM
 
25,301 posts, read 27,541,721 times
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Well, our situation is a little unusual.

I'm the hubby. But I also work for myself, rather than have the usual 8-to-5 routine. Meanwhile, my wife the CPA, has a more structured profession.

So my responsibility is to get the kids up, make their lunches, sign the permission slips, and get them off to school. I go to the teachers' conferences, pick up from school, get homework started, and run them to their various activities. Any work I don't get completed in that stretch between 8 and 3, I pick up and complete after they've gone to bed.

However, at the same time, I hired a college girl who chips in and helps between 3 and 5 for three days a week. She's an absolute Godsend, let me tell you.
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Old 07-21-2008, 10:58 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,843 posts, read 55,059,853 times
Reputation: 22813
You need another radio button - the society raises them! The unfortunate side effect is you can't deliver them back at the society's door.
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Old 07-21-2008, 11:12 AM
 
Location: Midwest
1,167 posts, read 1,018,111 times
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I work 8am-5pm Mon-Fri. My son is in daycare 3 days a week. My mother watches him one day a week and my husband has one day off during the week that he watches him. My husband and I spend ALL of our free time with our son and we get so many compliments on what a well behaved little boy he is.

WE raise our own child and while he is not with us, he is learing quite a bit at the wonderful daycare. If you asked any of the ladies there, they would tell you as well that my husband and I are raising our child!
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Old 07-21-2008, 11:22 AM
 
20 posts, read 19,235 times
Reputation: 12
It is my job and joy (ok sometimes my frustration too-7 going on 16!) to raise my child. I insist that her after school program homework time be left for independent reading, so I can help her w/homework, but sadly many parents want the program to do it. Most of my time outside of work is spent on taking her to her interests (dance class,etc) or going places like the beach, pool, park, etc as a family. We do the laundry, wash the car, etc together. She does have play dates because she is an only child and that's important too.
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Old 07-21-2008, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
22,392 posts, read 17,165,578 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
You need another radio button - the society raises them! The unfortunate side effect is you can't deliver them back at the society's door.
Are you sure?

I didn't put that down because, realistically, all kids are raised by society. Parents just don't raise their children in isolation. There will be grand parents, aunts and uncles, neighbors, sunday school teachers, etc, etc, etc... who will all have a hand in raising the children. The distinction I'm looking for is if mom works vs. not working. Whether we work or not, others assist us in raising our children. So the villiage is there (idiots and all) regardless of work status.
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Old 07-21-2008, 11:38 AM
 
Location: Vestavia Hills
53 posts, read 123,602 times
Reputation: 52
If a child is at daycare Mon-Fri for what, 10+? hours a day the daycare provider is raising them, not simply assisting. Not being judgemental, it's just the way it is--when you spend the same amount of time with your child(ren) in a week that someone else does in a day or two their influence is bound to be greater.
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Old 07-21-2008, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
22,392 posts, read 17,165,578 times
Reputation: 11781
Quote:
Originally Posted by FLandFF View Post
If a child is at daycare Mon-Fri for what, 10+? hours a day the daycare provider is raising them, not simply assisting. Not being judgemental, it's just the way it is--when you spend the same amount of time with your child(ren) in a week that someone else does in a day or two their influence is bound to be greater.
So, if you're with a child 50+ hours a week you're raisng them? If that's the case, who cares what the parents do with the other 118 hours a week they have after they put in their 50 with their kids?

By the way, the average number of hours infants who attend day care are in day care is something like 38 hours a week, not 50 but even if it were, if it only takes 50 hours a week to raise a child then the parents should be able to do what they want with the other 118 horus they have left after they put in their 50.

I'm trying to figure out your math here. Where do you get the parents spend as much time with the kids in a week as the day care provider does in a couple of days? The day care provider gets the day shift Monday-Friday with weekends holidays and vacations off. The parents get the rest including those weekends, holdidays and vacations.

Last edited by Ivorytickler; 07-21-2008 at 11:51 AM..
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Old 07-21-2008, 11:55 AM
 
Location: USA
1,246 posts, read 2,134,262 times
Reputation: 739
If an infant/child spends from 8-6 M-F at a daycare while both parents work 9-5, for example, that is 10 hours a day x 5 = 50 hours a week at the daycare.

If then the child has say a 9pm bedtime that leaves 3 hours a day M-F with the parents for a total of 15 hours during the week with parents. Then say Sat & Sun offers 8am - 9pm each day that is 13 hours x 2 = 26 hours on the weekend. 26 hours then plus the other 15 hours = 41 hours total during the week, versus the 50 hours they spent at daycare.

You can't really count sleeping hours here because no parenting is going on while the child is sleeping.

The key is not in the quantity of time, however, but much rather in the quality of time. It is not how long you are spending with the child/children so much as what you are actually doing and accomplishing with them during that time. Are you actively parenting or not. That is where the difference would come in.
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