MEN and WOMEN: Bachelor party or not? (wife, movies, girlfriends)

[PeacePlease]

I'm a male. I have no problems if my wife wants to go to one of these and I believe she has no problems with me going either.

[cpg35223]

My wife-to-be didn't mind that we hit strip clubs during my bachelor party.

However, I have to tell you that the places are overrated. After approximately three minutes of saying, "Hey, look at the headlamps on that one!", strip clubs become pretty boring places--not the dens of licentiousness you think they are. I mean, ten minutes into our visit, we were all talking about football, and would occasionally tip the dancers. Even then they started being a nuisance.

So, as long as he doesn't go regularly, let him. I've been married 17 years, and the last time I went to one was 16 years ago when a friend of mine dragged us into the place. You probably have more to lose by forbidding him to go than allowing it. Because telling him, "Over my dead body" not only tells him that he's marrying somebody who's about to clip his wings, but it also tells him that you don't trust him at the very same time. Not exactly how you want to start things out.

[sierraAZ]

I'm not that fond of this stupid custom. If somebody wants/has to go, fine. I don't think I'd like a groom of mine to have one, though... certainly not the night before the wedding. Who wants a hungover and/or throwing-up groom...?! He may not even make it to the altar! Not that this is necessarily a bad thing... gives more time for clear thinking...

[miu]

I'm female and I am completely neutral about bachelor parties and I always have been. If they want to go to a bachelor party or if their friends want to throw one for them, it really doesn't bother me. If I were about to be married, I would not secretly encourage or discourage any of my fiance's friends from planning whatever hijinks they wanted with him.

My current boyfriend is not the type to want to go to a bachelor party. My boyfriend did attend one bachelor party about five years ago, he didn't enjoy it that much.

Not all men are interested in bachelor parties. And I don't think them any less manly for not wanting to go to one. At the same time, for the ones that like bachelor parties, it's just fun for the night.

I feel differently about strip clubs. I wouldn't want to date a man that actually enjoys attending them on a regular basis.

[Blondie621]

Men are different than women. Women refuse to acknowledge this or just plain will not. I spent many years in the entertainment business and know men very well! They all need there space! When push comes to shove most men will not cheat on their wives, they just like to see and have contact with pretty women occasionally! It is called an EGO BOOST! They need to know women are still attracted to them! But it does not mean they will cheat. When men attend a strip club it is mostly conversational with the entertainer, and usually about the wife or gf. Men do not go to men for advice, they like to talk to another woman! I have helped many thru the years with their relationships. So if men want to occasionally attend a friends bachelor party or strip club, I have no problem with it! They need there space sometimes to do men things!

[Hobokenkitchen]

My friend's husband dragged my DH to a very upscale strip joint in London before our wedding, and he had a lap dance. At the same time I was being entertained by a male 'police man'. Honestly it's not really my cup of tea, so he just danced at a distance and then went home with one of my single bridesmaids!!

I'm definitely not into the male strippers who pelvic thrust the women they are dancing for.

I thought the coming in as a cop and losing his clothes was hilarious, but there was NO touching.

I have no problem with it at all. As long as it's a laugh and not taken further than strictly eyes only, then who cares!

Now, to clarify I must admit that if DH wanted to go to strip clubs now, I would be unimpressed. I do think a stag/ hen night is a bit of a free pass for that though.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by Hobokenkitchen

My friend's husband dragged my DH to a very upscale strip joint in London before our wedding, and he had a lap dance. At the same time I was being entertained by a male 'police man'. Honestly it's not really my cup of tea, so he just danced at a distance and then went home with one of my single bridesmaids!!

Hey, somebody got something out of it...

[OA 5599]

I've been to strip clubs 3 times with friends. One was really fun, the other two were wastes of money. As someone said earlier, I ended up feeling sorry for a lot of the girls. I'd rather spend my time and money doing other things. One of my friends who was with one night us never told his girlfriend, and made up some excuse as to where we were that night...I'm pretty sure she would have broken up with him over it, but I'd never want to have that kind of secrecy in any type of relationship, I'd either not go to a strip club or tell the person I was going with beforehand.

Hypothetically speaking, as I'm single, if I was about to be married and my fiance flat out said "NO" to a strip club I'd be pretty angry about it. Not because I want to go to strip clubs that bad (I'd rather go get drunk with my friends for a bachelor party and leave it at that), but because it would be her trying to control me like I was a kid and she was my mom. I also don't think I'd care very much the other way around.

[findinghope]

my dh had one, they just went to a strip club, had a few drinks, etc.
it was "ok" with me. i guess i figured it was normal and he was entitled.
i personally wouldnt be caught dead in any sort of strip club--just not my thing at all. we had a party for all the women at my parents on the same night, just family, doing nails for the wedding etc.

[mari4him]

Originally Posted by sms0511

So here it goes:

1. Would you be furious/ let your SO go to a bachelor party?

2. Whatever your answer is, please state your gender.

Out of inspiration from another topic, I'd like to know how many out there are for AND against the idea of a bachelor party of dancers (just dancers, not hookers!).

Thx much!

I am a female and responded to the poll was no, although I had issues with the word "let" as I did not feel it was appropriate but guessed it would be closer to the correct answer that no we would not go.

My husband is an adult and therefore I don't agree with the word "let" as he is not my child. However, he and I both agree that such parties are not necessary. We got married 6 weeks ago and neither he, nor I, had a bachlor/ette party. We just didn't feel or see the need for such things. It is both an individual and a mutual choice of ours.

Should either of us be invited to such a party for a friend of ours, we both would more than likely decline attending. However, if it were more like a bridal shower or couples type pre-wedding function (minus the strippers) we would most likely attend that.