Bachelor/Bachlorette Parties & Strip Clubs (alcohol, Mexican, people, Illinois)

[MonaLisaVito]

Originally Posted by AuburnJack

Dancers can touch you all they want. You just can't touch them.

Whether that's as bad as it sounds or not seems to depend on the club, in my experience (which is limited to three times).

Hmmm, I thought that might be what you meant. I've also been to the clubs a few times. I saw the interaction let's just say. I think some might be shocked if they saw some of the things that go on ~

[AuburnJack]

Originally Posted by MonaLisaVito

Hmmm, I thought that might be what you meant. I've also been to the clubs a few times. I saw the interaction let's just say. I think some might be shocked if they saw some of the things that go on ~

Yup. Not all strip clubs are alike, to be sure.

And my personal opinion is that women should be *much* more leery about a private party with "on-call" dancers than a club. Plenty a bachelorette party hires an on-call male stripper, but from what I understand, it's a whole different ball game with female strippers.

[SanAntoQT]

Originally Posted by AuburnJack

Dancers can touch you all they want. You just can't touch them.

Not if you go to the strip bars in TJ. We're a short 20 minutes from the Mexican border. We don't waste our time with U.S. strip clubs. TJ is much more relaxed about touching.

[yankeegirl313]

Originally Posted by mari4him

Guess because I see going to such places as something that is not a "need" a person may have, or at least that they shouldn't have, choosing to put it above your partner's feelings on the issue kinda says a lot. Whether it's a male or a female doing so.

AMEN!!! I love this quote. So true.

[K-Luv]

Originally Posted by AuburnJack

Yup. Not all strip clubs are alike, to be sure.

And my personal opinion is that women should be *much* more leery about a private party with "on-call" dancers than a club. Plenty a bachelorette party hires an on-call male stripper, but from what I understand, it's a whole different ball game with female strippers.

Strippers have body guards while they work at a strip club; when they show up to do a private party, you better believe that they have body guards there, too.

[sms0511]

Originally Posted by K-Luv

Strippers have body guards while they work at a strip club; when they show up to do a private party, you better believe that they have body guards there, too.

Man, IMAGINE what kinds of things that the bodyguards have seen during their hours of work with these girls

[Davachka]

Originally Posted by sms0511

Faina, your story is sweet and all, knowing that you stated that you did NOT want him to visit any stripbars in Montreal, etc., etc. Your story is commonly shared by many other women that do not want their men visiting stripbars.

But the danger in that situation lies in the fact that you HAD to tell him of how you felt. Have you heard of men out there holding a bachelor party as secret, because, just like you, the brides-to-be are not too appreciative of such events? Not to be a devil's advocate (or maybe I am by stating what I just said), they could have gone to one and dispose of any evidence, or could have gone to one and shared a common secrecy of not telling you, the bride?

Someone said on here that if you pick someone that you do NOT have to force your expectations upon -- because you and him are alot like thought wise -- is one of the keys to successful relationship, married or unmarried.

I am not sure of your point. Because I HAD to tell him? I did not force my expectations, I stated how I felt. And he agreed that he was not interested in going. My husband and I pretty much agree on everything, and definitely never force our opinions on each other about anything. We do communicate openly and clearly, and always tell each other how we feel. Some women play games, pretend they don't care when they do, etc etc. We do not do that. Ever. Open, honest communication flows freely between us, and in our opinions, is key to a successful marriage. And yes, honesty is there too, of course my husband would not go anyway and keep it hidden from me. Those are the actions of a child, hiding things from his mother, those are not the actions of a man.

[sms0511]

Originally Posted by faina00

I am not sure of your point. Because I HAD to tell him? I did not force my expectations, I stated how I felt. And he agreed that he was not interested in going. My husband and I pretty much agree on everything, and definitely never force our opinions on each other about anything. We do communicate openly and clearly, and always tell each other how we feel. Some women play games, pretend they don't care when they do, etc etc. We do not do that. Ever. Open, honest communication flows freely between us, and in our opinions, is key to a successful marriage. And yes, honesty is there too, of course my husband would not go anyway and keep it hidden from me. Those are the actions of a child, hiding things from his mother, those are not the actions of a man.

I see, if he wasn't really interested/ nonchalant about the event, I can see how your situation is. Consider yourself lucky though, because I know many men that told their wives they weren't interested in going (in response to their wives not approving of such places), but ended up going anyways. Like this wedding that I'm being a bridesmaid for, for example. Both sides of the wedding party doesn't want the other to celebrate the bachelor and bachelorette types "in that sort of way", but I know that there are plans in the "secret making". Pathetic, but hey, at least I'm not going to such thing anyways.

[miu]

Originally Posted by sms0511

I see, if he wasn't really interested/ nonchalant about the event, I can see how your situation is. Consider yourself lucky though, because I know many men that told their wives they weren't interested in going (in response to their wives not approving of such places), but ended up going anyways. Like this wedding that I'm being a bridesmaid for, for example. Both sides of the wedding party doesn't want the other to celebrate the bachelor and bachelorette types "in that sort of way", but I know that there are plans in the "secret making". Pathetic, but hey, at least I'm not going to such thing anyways.

How is keeping some of the details of these bachelor/bachelorette parties pathetic? I get how cool you are as a girlfriend, but really... haven't we all agreed that these parties are supposed to be lighthearted fun last boys or girls night out, the last hoorah for the groom or bride while they are still single? To me, a boys or girls night out is supposed to be a little naughty and something amongst best friends and not every detail told the the opposite sex s/o's.

If my boyfriend went to a bachelor party I would totally trust him. And I would not expect or ask him about what he did with his guy friends. And if I went to a bachelorette party, I know that he would trust me and also not expect or pester me for stories about my party. We would both hope that everyone had a great time at their parties.

And I don't think that it's healthy for any couple to tell each other 100% of everything they say and do when apart. Everyone needs their private space.

And I don't see what the problem was with faina00 telling her husband that she didn't want him going to a strip club. That's called communication, it's also called not treating it like a touchy subject and instead treating it like a normal relaxed conversational topic. It's also letting her husband know that she cares about his activities and wants all of his male attention. Sometimes my boyfriend will tell me a story like about how the young ladies at the RMV really liked him and treated him well, and I will jokingly make a possessive growling noise in response. He knows I trust him but he gets a kick out of having a mental image of me fending off his female admirers. It gives a little boost to his ego.

I actually think that if I told my boyfriend that I didn't mind him getting lapdances or encouraged him to get some, he would be sad and disappointed in me. After all, what's the next step... having an open relationship?

[sms0511]

Originally Posted by miu

How is keeping some of the details of these bachelor/bachelorette parties pathetic? I get how cool you are as a girlfriend, but really... haven't we all agreed that these parties are supposed to be lighthearted fun last boys or girls night out, the last hoorah for the groom or bride while they are still single? To me, a boys or girls night out is supposed to be a little naughty and something amongst best friends and not every detail told the the opposite sex s/o's.

If my boyfriend went to a bachelor party I would totally trust him. And I would not expect or ask him about what he did with his guy friends. And if I went to a bachelorette party, I know that he would trust me and also not expect or pester me for stories about my party. We would both hope that everyone had a great time at their parties.

And I don't think that it's healthy for any couple to tell each other 100% of everything they say and do when apart. Everyone needs their private space.

And I don't see what the problem was with faina00 telling her husband that she didn't want him going to a strip club. That's called communication, it's also called not treating it like a touchy subject and instead treating it like a normal relaxed conversational topic. It's also letting her husband know that she cares about his activities and wants all of his male attention. Sometimes my boyfriend will tell me a story like about how the young ladies at the RMV really liked him and treated him well, and I will jokingly make a possessive growling noise in response. He knows I trust him but he gets a kick out of having a mental image of me fending off his female admirers. It gives a little boost to his ego.

I actually think that if I told my boyfriend that I didn't mind him getting lapdances or encouraged him to get some, he would be sad and disappointed in me. After all, what's the next step... having an open relationship?

I said PATHETIC as in it's PATHETIC that both the groom and bride are lying to each other about NOT having strippers at the bachelor and bachelorette parties. The bride does NOT want the groom to have it, he said "ok hunny", but plans are being made to have it anyways, and the same happens to the bride.

the LYING part is PATHETIC.