Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So at the moment, she is very pregnant and her hormones are going crazy. She sounds stressed out about her pregnancy and the upcoming painful birth. Does she want a C-section? I know that I wouldn't want to have C-section scars on my body.
So has the verbal abuse gotten worse since she's been pregnant? I'd cut her a little slack until after the baby is born. Just a thought.
I'm not excusing her rudeness, but I think that her condition is part of the problem. Was this a planned pregnancy? Is she looking forward to having the baby and raising it? Is she giving up a job that she loves to be a mom?
The doctor said the baby is going to be well over 10 lbs so she'll have the option of getting a C-section or giving birth naturally. This pregancy wasn't planned. She wants to go back to work ASAP after the birth. Yes, you could say the verbal abuse has gotten a little worse afterwards.
While not an excuse whatsoever for her showing such lack of respect for you, I wonder what someone else asked as well, is she or has she always been like this, or is it a situation that is mostly while she is pregnant? Like I said, not an excuse, but at least offers some sort of explanation for it, based on imbalance of hormones possibly, rather than just lack of respect for you as a human being, a man, her husband and the father of her kids.
Having said/asked that... my suggestion would be that when she resorts to such name calling you immediately at that moment cut the conversation with a statement such as "I do not appreciate you talking to me that way and will not stand here and take it, when you want to talk to me with the respect that I deserve and as a grown adult, we can pick up this conversation, until then, the conversation is over" then walk away if need be.
I would also suggest the possibility of seeking out marriage counseling, especially considering that she has at least on one occassion told you that she doesn't remember saying that and it was kind of like just a reaction/response that just came out. It may be she has some underlying issues that she needs to deal with before she destroys your marriage and family.
This does sound harsh seeing as she is pregnant with his child. CPG's advice is more likely to have a good outcome than this I think.
well I know.Don't get me wrong I cringe thinking that acting that way is needed.Personally I would just end it if it were me,that's my personality,I see a problem I just look to the fast way of being rid of it.But kids do make it different I guess.
But I have been in his shoes,treated the same way and I learned that sometimes you gotta be a a-hole to get your point across,because I have seen other be strong standing up for themselves and usually the other person gets the message that way and starts kissing your feet for a change
yes, definitely tell her that the way she talks to you is only apushing you away. this might be her intent underneath it all.
but be honest and open and if she still continues, well then you just might have to explode and let here have it.
maybe shes waiting for you to not be so soft and step up. women are wierd like that.
who knows her motivation. all you can do is be honest about how you feel.
hopefully for the sake of the relationship and family she will get it. if not, how long are you willing to suffer?
what will it take for you to up and leave this abusive relationship?
well I know.Don't get me wrong I cringe thinking that acting that way is needed.Personally I would just end it if it were me,that's my personality,I see a problem I just look to the fast way of being rid of it.But kids do make it different I guess.
But I have been in his shoes,treated the same way and I learned that sometimes you gotta be a a-hole to get your point across,because I have seen other be strong standing up for themselves and usually the other person gets the message that way and starts kissing your feet for a change
See, I don't think you have to be an a-hole at all. You simply say what's going to happen, and follow up if it does. You don't get angry. You don't act out. You simply do what you promised would happen. That doesn't make you an a-hole. It makes you decisive.
Let me tell you my dad was a verbal abuser.I became like a dog beat too much lost the spirit and that only made it worse.
But one day at 17 I exploded and said back to him F U dad you F'n a$$hole,I ain't putting up with your bullS*** ANY MORE.I got in his face and said that expecting to be knocked out but he shut up instantly and became calm.
He still carried a attitude but ever after that I sensed a more reserved attitude and when he gave me attitude I stood up to stop it.At least till the day he kicked me out,but see I didn't need his support anymore,I could do by myself so that changed everything.
Don't get me wrong my dad was a great dad in providing but he did have a verbal side and you need to challenge that otherwise deal with those gut wrenching butterflies you get when someone attacks you that way,it is your choice...............
Let me tell you my dad was a verbal abuser.I became like a dog beat too much lost the spirit and that only made it worse.
But one day at 17 I exploded and said back to him F U dad you F'n a$$hole,I ain't putting up with your bullS*** ANY MORE.I got in his face and said that expecting to be knocked out but he shut up instantly and became calm.
He still carried a attitude but ever after that I sensed a more reserved attitude and when he gave me attitude I stood up to stop it.At least till the day he kicked me out,but see I didn't need his support anymore,I could do by myself so that changed everything.
Don't get me wrong my dad was a great dad in providing but he did have a verbal side and you need to challenge that otherwise deal with those gut wrenching butterflies you get when someone attacks you that way,it is your choice...............
Well, I can't speak to your relationship, but I've never seen a situation where blowing up at somebody helps the situation. I prefer sweet reason, the iron fist in the velvet glove.
Not good...not good at all... Sit her down and talk with her...Not only is she hurting your feelings, I would be concerned with the example she is setting for your kids...Your kids are watching their mom treat their dad disrespectfully...Guess what they are going to do when they get older??? Sit her butt down and lay it on the line...dont take it anymore!
You guy's views on this issue has really encourage me to have a sit down with her tonight and I really appreciate it big time. I will go home as usual but this time I will have an optimistic view and hopefully, after today this whole thing will have a positive outcome.
I have to admit, I have called my husband a "stupid idiot" but in a 100% joking manner. He did not like it the 2 or 3 times I did it and he made it clear to me. I respect the man so much and really was joking but I have not done it since and never will again. Maybe after you talk to her you can set up something that will remind her not to do it and when she does, she gets a punishment. Like when people put a dollar in a jar for every curse word they use. If you two really love eachother this has to be resolved and soon. Good Luck!!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
