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My husband's cousin who is almost 40 got married the same weekend our DD's graduation party was to be celebrated, plus it was out of state in South Carolina(we are in Wi) so obviously we opted out.
Fast forward to 2 days ago and hubby's aunt and uncle come for a visit and she puts me on the spot for not sending a card(not the reply card, a wedding card). She said she was getting the cards(not opening them) and she saw that we did not send one. Now, she IS very old fashioned and I'm pretty sure it didn't have anything to do with a gift of money that might have come from sending a card, more the principle of it, KWIM?
Kaaayyyy??? So now what? Do I send one out hastefully after being pressured to send one? Do I send money? Also, they did not serve any food(which to me is "off" when you are asking guests from out of state to pay their way to this wedding).
So what is proper etiquette? Is it okay NOT to send a card if you don't attend or MUST you send one. After being put on the spot, how would YOU feel about sending a card?
Yes, a card should be sent...according to proper protocol, you have 1 year to send a gift/card and the recipients have 6 months to send a thank you note.
Alright I am sending a card then. I guess I just don't like being "made" to do something that I feel should come from the heart. Plus, I am rather perturbed at her for putting me on the spot but whatever, I understand the whole principle of it all. She does this with thank you notes too. If I don't send one out she has my MIL call and ask us if we sent one out! I am just really not a card kind of girl. I know, no excuse! Heck, my dad gets irritated because I don't send him father's day cards lmao So why would I EVEN send a wedding card then, right? lol J/K of course.
Location: When things get hot they expand. Im not fat. Im hot.
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Why would you not want to send a card when its such a small thing to make someone else happy. Its not like theyre that expensive ya know. Or is there some sort of a power struggle going on here.
I know you know this isn't about cards -- it's about when you will start consistently choosing feelings that are happy, instead of feelings that are unhappy...
People don't "put me on the spot" because I choose my emotions, and others don't "make" me do anything. So if you can remember that this is YOUR life you're living, not someone else's, and you don't get to do it over, and every moment is the opportunity to choose to be happy -- then you can be much more successful at letting the things others say just roll off your shoulder as the words pass by your ear.
So YOU'RE in control of YOUR life, making choices that make YOU feel good -- about being who you are, and about living your life. Now, what do you WANT to do?
Alright I am sending a card then. I guess I just don't like being "made" to do something that I feel should come from the heart. Plus, I am rather perturbed at her for putting me on the spot but whatever, I understand the whole principle of it all. She does this with thank you notes too. If I don't send one out she has my MIL call and ask us if we sent one out! I am just really not a card kind of girl. I know, no excuse! Heck, my dad gets irritated because I don't send him father's day cards lmao So why would I EVEN send a wedding card then, right? lol J/K of course.
You don't send your dad a Father's Day card? It seems obvious you don't like sending cards. Do you like receiving them? If you get ANY kind of warm feeling when you get one, remember that the person you send one to may appreciate the recognition. If sending OR receiving cards doesn't do anything for you, search for a different mechanism, i.e. Blue Mountain or E-Cards, Animated Greeting Cards and Online Greetings by Jacquie Lawson on the Internet.
Im not a big card sender either nor am I big on etiquette. Seems like sending the rsvp with a sorry we cant make it congrats on the marriage would be sufficient. Also seem like the aunt needs to get a life.
Everyone is pretty much right. At first you should have sent a card. At this point it's too late and just because she had the gaul to ask for it, would make me less enthusiastic about sending it. What is she, 15? At this point, I would not send a card, it's after the fact and you would only be sending it because she said something.
Next time you know better.
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I am just really not a card kind of girl. I know, no excuse! Heck, my dad gets irritated because I don't send him father's day cards lmao So why would I EVEN send a wedding card then, right? lol J/K of course.
