But He Knows I Didn't Mean It.... (date, girls, call)

[miu]

Originally Posted by natalayjones

I think it was just a bunch of little stuff that had been bothering me all week and that was like the drop that broke the dam.

I came home upset one day because the faxmail on my pc was broken so i had to use the main office fax. He patted me on the back and said "it's okay" which just made me even more upset. Sometimes I just need to vent.
If he had said "That sucks" I would have felt 100% better but "it's okay" just makes me feel stupid. I know using the main fax is not the end of the world but can't you just let me ***** about it for 2 seconds

Accept your boyfriend for who he is. If you need to vent or get sympathy, then seek a girlfriend or fellow female co-worker. Men are wired up differently and aren't natural sympathizers, they are problem solvers. And they can't be trained to be empaths either.

My last boyfriend drove me crazy because he was unable just offer sympathy. Every time I had a vent, he would suggest a solution to the situation so it wouldn't happen again. A mutual male friend even noticed this. Our nickname for my ex was "defender of the defenseless". And it wasn't what made me stop loving him, but it was part of it. But I did learn my lesson and now if I need a shoulder to vent to, I turn to my girlfriends and if they aren't readily available (in person) I will shoot off an email to one of them. Otherwise, I would never bother my boyfriend or friend about a mini crisis over the phone. Actually, I mostly vent to my dogs. Nothing beats an audience that never disagrees with me and loves me unconditionally! LOL!

[Tzaphkiel]

also i can't help but notice in the opening post person's name for herself, includes "smart mouthed"

i'm not sure what the positive side of that might be (if there is one) but it can be really unpleasant to be around someone who is "smart mouthed" because it often comes out as nasty remarks, sarcasm, harsh comments, aggression, and hostility. It is really uncomfortable, and often offensive, to be on the receiving end of that smart mouth. It would be helpful to try to hear what other people are saying about how your words are felt and heard by others.

[TrishP7]

Originally Posted by natalayjones

Guess it's a good thing you're not my boyfriend then.




I don't do this often - reading through the threads I guess i gave people the impression that this is something we do every Tuesday night right after So You Think You Can Dance. We very rarely argue.

I think it was just a bunch of little stuff that had been bothering me all week and that was like the drop that broke the dam.

I came home upset one day because the faxmail on my pc was broken so i had to use the main office fax. He patted me on the back and said "it's okay" which just made me even more upset. Sometimes I just need to vent.
If he had said "That sucks" I would have felt 100% better but "it's okay" just makes me feel stupid. I know using the main fax is not the end of the world but can't you just let me ***** about it for 2 seconds

No need to explain, Natalay, I understand completely!

[Drover]

Originally Posted by DimSumRaja

also i can't help but notice in the opening post person's name for herself, includes "smart mouthed"

i'm not sure what the positive side of that might be (if there is one) but it can be really unpleasant to be around someone who is "smart mouthed" because it often comes out as nasty remarks, sarcasm, harsh comments, aggression, and hostility. It is really uncomfortable, and often offensive, to be on the receiving end of that smart mouth. It would be helpful to try to hear what other people are saying about how your words are felt and heard by others.

So says "princess of everything."

[Tzaphkiel]

Originally Posted by Drover

So says "princess of everything."

yes, princess as in the beloved child of a loving Creator, nurtured by the bounty of my beautiful Mother Earth, yes that is my lineage

[optiflex]

Originally Posted by natalayjones

Being young (and overly dramatic) I tend to say a lot of things when I'm upset. The other night my boyfriend and I were being intimate and it ended a little sooner than I would have liked so I was frustrated. He wanted to cuddle but I was angry and so I got up to take a shower.

So when I get out of the shower, I go to my closet just because I was stalling and didn't feel like getting back in the bed but he thinks I'm looking for clothes and asks where I think I'm going at 2 o'clock in the morning. So now I actually grab clothes and head back to the bathroom and get dressed, knowing that I'm not really going anywhere but I just want him to be as pissed off as I am. So he follows me in the bathroom, repeating his question and I say out.

Now in my mind I'm thinking "Where does he think I'm going to go this time of night, knowing I have to go to work tomorrow?" but I go through the whole process of doing my hair and putting on makeup. When I'm finally dressed, he won't let me leave takes my keys and holds them over his head demanding I sit down and talk to him.

Things got escalated and he yells that I'm being childish and I act like the only reason I'm with him is for sex and I say "What other reason would I have" and it was like someone pushed the pause button. His whole face changed and for a brief second I thought he was going to hit me, but he just got dressed and left.

I called his phone like a million times and when he finally answered I told him I didn't mean it and was just angry but he says I seem to have a habit of saying things I don't mean when I'm angry and he thinks I really feel that way but just keep it to myself most of the time, which is not true at all - I just get upset and run off at the mouth, just like a kid who tells their parents that they hate them (bad analogy; comparing myself to a kid - I know)

I know the bottom line is that I need to grow up and control my temper, but I'm wondering if anyone else had this problem? Please don't be really harsh and tell me I'm a horrible person who's going to run my boyfriend away - my girlfriends already covered that.

Have you thought about ...SHOWING HIM THIS LETTER??>

[optiflex]

BTW you sound liike you know why you do things and are humble enough to admit your part in things...You''ll do tthe right thing!

Enjoy the make up sex!

[bxlefty23]

Originally Posted by miu

Accept your boyfriend for who he is. If you need to vent or get sympathy, then seek a girlfriend or fellow female co-worker. Men are wired up differently and aren't natural sympathizers, they are problem solvers. And they can't be trained to be empaths either.

My last boyfriend drove me crazy because he was unable just offer sympathy. Every time I had a vent, he would suggest a solution to the situation so it wouldn't happen again. A mutual male friend even noticed this. Our nickname for my ex was "defender of the defenseless". And it wasn't what made me stop loving him, but it was part of it. But I did learn my lesson and now if I need a shoulder to vent to, I turn to my girlfriends and if they aren't readily available (in person) I will shoot off an email to one of them. Otherwise, I would never bother my boyfriend or friend about a mini crisis over the phone. Actually, I mostly vent to my dogs. Nothing beats an audience that never disagrees with me and loves me unconditionally! LOL!

you cant be serious
this nutcase doesnt even tell her bf what the problem is and you think her bf should sympathize with her?

[miu]

Originally Posted by bxlefty23

you cant be serious
this nutcase doesnt even tell her bf what the problem is and you think her bf should sympathize with her?

Did you even read the post of hers that I responded to? She said that one day, she complained about her broken fax machine to him, and when he didn't sympathize with her and instead tried to shrug off the problem, she got frustrated and mad. So I was suggesting to her to stop looking to her boyfriend for sympathy and instead turn to a girlfriend or co-worker for things like that!

[bxlefty23]

Originally Posted by miu

Did you even read the post of hers that I responded to? She said that one day, she complained about her broken fax machine to him, and when he didn't sympathize with her and instead tried to shrug off the problem, she got frustrated and mad. So I was suggesting to her to stop looking to her boyfriend for sympathy and instead turn to a girlfriend or co-worker for things like that!

sorry that being nuts
yea it sucks themachine is broken-
boo hoo
act like an adult