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Judging by all the "baby bumps" seen on female celebs and adoptions from far away lands, you'd think babies are the latest accessory. All the stars make parenting look so glamorous.
Judging by all the "baby bumps" seen on female celebs and adoptions from far away lands, you'd think babies are the latest accessory. All the stars make parenting look so glamorous.
Guess so... Somebody was wondering it today's paper about all the twins the stars have. Of course they will - a lot of them are having children later in life with the help of fertility treatments. Perhaps triplets will be the next rage. Actually, I'd imagine they could potentially have more, but they choose to reduce the number of embryos.
Most females, especially young women, are ignorant and incredibly stupid. Most think they're made to have children. I had this chat with my now ex back in high school. She asked "Have you picked out the names for your kids". When I told her flat out that I was never going to have kids, the trick broke up with me over that. She was attractive too, but she wanted kids.
Most people don't realize that kids are a huge expense and responsibility. There are a lot of things that are tough in life, but kids have to be the worst thing to cause stress among individuals.
This never happened, but I would like a parent to ask if I think their baby is cute because I'll automatically say no.
I know there are some childfree people on here who act like animals, making personal attacks directed at me.
Funniest post I've read in a long time.
In addition to this little gem
Quote:
Most people don't realize that kids are a huge expense and responsibility.
Nobody can tell you why you should or shouldn't have kids. The real question is why do YOU want kids?
I agree. Have them if you want them. Don't have them if you don't want them. Having/not having them based on how they will/will not impact your relationship is just silly since you have no idea how they will impact your relationship until they are here.
Judging by all the "baby bumps" seen on female celebs and adoptions from far away lands, you'd think babies are the latest accessory. All the stars make parenting look so glamorous.
When you can afford 24 hour a day nannies, they are glamorous The rest of us just look tired for about 7 years after they're born
"Most people don't realize that kids are a huge expense and responsibility."
Really????? Do you think people are that dumb that they don't realize that kids are a huge expense and responsibility? That's the funniest thing I've read in a while. Most people are fully aware that kids are expensive and a responsibility. They just want them anyway.
People spend their money and time on what they think is important. I think my kids are worth every penny and minute.
I am totally Anti-kid, and not because I don't like them. I love kids, and kids love me. My Friends kid's always ask when I am coming over. But, I know that I am selfish and have many things that I want to do and do not want to give up, so I doubt that I will ever have kids. I really have thought seriously about getting the big V so I won't have to worry about it.
It is a wise person who knows themselves well enough to know not to go there. Unfortunately, too many who shouldn't do and the kids and, ultimately, society pay.
There is nothing wrong with realizing that you don't want to raise kids. Having them is, completely, optional.
So, for the parents among you: Tell me why we should or should not have kids... and attack this from a relationship and/or marriage standpoint.
OK...let me try to put it to you like this. I like cars. I like driving cars, washing my car, doing fun things in my car, improving my car, wrenching on my car...HOWEVER...cars come at a price. Typically a payment has to be made every month along with insurance and other operational costs. And this usually means as a result of having to pay these expenses I have to make a sacrifice elsewhere such as dining out, going to the movies, and lately going fewer places due to high gas prices. (Sometimes I just wish I could ride my bike everywhere and then still be able to do the fun things I was doing before)
Similarly if you have a child you are going to experience all the joys associated with the child. BUT you are going to also experience the hearache, sadness, and tears. There will be nights when you've stayed up with the child for whatever reason to the point that you and your wife are exhausted. This will change your sex lives without a doubt. And it will change your life in general. You may not get to do some of the fun independent things you used to do because you have to go home and relieve your wife because she's been there all day with a colicy child.
You cannot have the benefits without the sacrifice....well I suppose you could if you hired a nanny to raise your child for you while you carried on your life as you know it.
So, for the parents among you: Tell me why we should or should not have kids... and attack this from a relationship and/or marriage standpoint.
Everyones different and if you both don't manage your time well or one person ends up with most of the household duties or if one person decides to continue acting like they don't have kids then yes the love life suffers.
I was married 10 years before I decided I wanted kids, my wife was on the same page. Up until that time I did not want kids. I'm not an old fashioned husband, I cook I clean I do laundry just as she does. If shes tired I don't sulk and pull that guilt trip crap if she doesn't feel like having sex. I've found that on days she has to work early if I make coffee and free up a few minutes added to the 2 1/2 hours she has before she goes she is generally receptive. I don't feel having kids has taken from our relationship, if anything it has added to it, more of a bond and much more to talk about. You have to know the person your with and your self well enough to make the decision. If either one of you is the type that is always running late, already feels like you don't have enough time just working 40 hours or counts every thing you've done in a day and weighs that against what your partner has done might not have the same results I've seen. Before I had kids I worked 60 hours a week, carried 12 credit hours and had sex at least once a day so having kids seemed like a cake walk.
I cannot attest for your husband, but I can attest for my son...he is an excellent father. His wife, didn't concern herself much with the baby...he was the one who changed the diapers...she acted helpless and I can tell you, he bonded with that child immediately...the birth of a child changes something in you, and that change is wonderful...as your child grows you find all your priorities changing...you actually grow with your child...
I believe the man does change, men mature slower then women, but if you decide to have a child, I would allow him to be instrumental in the care of the child...allow him to be a major role model...and he will change...talk to him before you decide to have children and ask him if he would mind participating in the child's care, and then allow him to do so.
It is no longer a world where men sit on their butts while the wife, bears the children, hangs diapers on the line and is the instrumental care giver to the children...men realize, they need to help out...and believe me, he will change...but slower then you do...and it's ok, cuz, you will also be his mentor...
at least that is the way it worked for me....? My son's father was a good man...and father...to his son...we didn't always agree, he was real wishy washy when it came to discipline, but you will have this...and, most importantly, allow the children to bond with as many adults as possible, as it will help your child be socially savvy, from which he/she will develop many good qualities. Not to mention, teaches them social skills. In other words, try not to be over protective and smothering the child, allow them to make mistakes so that they are not shocked when they go off into the real world..and try and make a go of it, the more experience the child is introduced to, I think, the better they will be for it...be a mom, but also, the kind that allows...don't make that child co-dependent on you.
Just some thoughts...
hugs
Creme
Is your DIL (daughter in law) experiencing the PP depression? Just wondering... giving birth itself is a trauma for the body, so maybe she's acting like the baby "is not much of a concern" because she's overwhelmed?
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Actually, I'd imagine they could potentially have more, but they choose to reduce the number of embryos.
Having kids is not required
