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In 2001 my then gf and I moved from east coast to LA for job, change of pace, new experiences. Life was some what filled with stress due to high cost of living, bills, starting over. We lived together for 3 years until we broke up. I did not want to but she did and all of her friends were telling her to break up with me (they were all single by the way). I tried and tried to work things out but the more I tried to more she thought I looked desperate and the more she was less attracted to me. It got to the point to were she turned mean to me when I would call her and would call me pathetic in front of her friends. This went on for about a year (I'd sent e-mails, thinking of you cards, leave voice mail. All about once a week). She completely turned really cold and was literally laughing at me in front of her friends when I'd call (very immature for a woman in her late 30's although not uncommon in SoCal). So of course I gave up and moved on and later moved back to the east coast.
Now a couple years later she is sending me e-mails and wanting to talk to me to saying she felt bad for the way she acted and would like to let me know she is sorry for the way in which things happened. A few years ago she would not even talk to me when I was trying so hard to be nice. Now that she reached age 40 and she wants to communicate again. It makes me sick to think how much effort I put in to smoothing things out a few years ago and now that she is older she now feels bad for the past. I'm sorry she has not met a great man in Los Angeles but for her to call me years later like this is just unbelievable. It's funny how life is sometimes.
I'd let by gones be by gones, and go forward, as it is said, you can never go back, and if you do, it is disasterous? I dunno...just my 2 cents..maybe she has grown up, but perhaps she is now, not what your attracted to...besides, she now probably realizes, after dating, she had a gem in you.
I dunno, what to tell you...you must follow your own heart on this one?
I would listen to what she has to say and then reply back with something along the lines of
" I thank you for sharing, but I don't accept your apology. You really messed up what was a great thing, and I am no longer interested in you" Tell her how you have met someone great and that your life is better off now, and inform her to leave you alone.
Do you really want to be her second choice. Also, would you ever trust her again? Doubtful
I would listen to what she has to say and then reply back with something along the lines of
" I thank you for sharing, but I don't accept your apology. You really messed up what was a great thing, and I am no longer interested in you" Tell her how you have met someone great and that your life is better off now, and inform her to leave you alone.
Do you really want to be her second choice. Also, would you ever trust her again? Doubtful
Isn't that kind of pointless though? I mean if your going to be that imature why even Acknowledge her in the first place...might as well just ignore her then.
Seriously....wana be mature about it? Accept her stupid appology and say goodbye and badaboom badabing.....you feel better for being a big boy and she realizes she lost her a good man.......end of discussion....you win
Originally Posted by IonRedline08 I would listen to what she has to say and then reply back with something along the lines of
" I thank you for sharing, but I don't accept your apology. You really messed up what was a great thing, and I am no longer interested in you" Tell her how you have met someone great and that your life is better off now, and inform her to leave you alone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lola8822
Isn't that kind of pointless though? I mean if your going to be that imature why even Acknowledge her in the first place...might as well just ignore her then.
Seriously....wana be mature about it? Accept her stupid appology and say goodbye and end of discussion....
Because it can feel really good to get it out in the open and say exactly what that post above says. Because there is dignity and integrity and self-respect in speaking that truth. I don't see it as immature at all. It gets it out in the open, it is clear and direct, and people who pull crap like she did need to hear once in a while "nope, not interested, you blew it, my life is great, and leave me alone." To me it is an act of self-respect and maturity to be able to say that.
It also brings everything up to date and current, she knows exactly where she stands, and it cuts off at the pass any lingering agenda she may have of buttering him up for a reconciliation, does he still have feelings for her, weaseling her way into old feelings, whatever. This way with what he says above, she knows where she stands and it's over and the controlling and manipulation don't need to go into high gear.
To me it is an act of self-respect and maturity to be able to say that.
really?? I see it as being the complete opposite. She will be getting the hint....clearly and directly.....that she blew it, he's better than her and "leave me alone" with what I recomended......AND....She will also see how great he is and how stupid she was for letting him go......if he goes and throws a tantrum about it she's going to be like....ewww, i'm glad I left his sorry butt. IMO....That's how I would see it anyway.
I was somehwhat in your shoes before...but you forgive and move forward. You be the better person and be kind to her. She apoligized and that shows alot.
Yes she messed up and treated you like you were nothing, no one should be treated that way, but at least now you know who she really is. Be thankful you didn't end up marrying her and then have her treat you the way she did.
" I thank you for sharing, but I don't accept your apology. You really messed up what was a great thing, and I am no longer interested in you" Tell her how you have met someone great and that your life is better off now, and inform her to leave you alone.
While I personally would probably respond back an acknowledgement (note: I did not say acceptance), I wouldn't attempt to flaunt how much better off I am. What is going on in my present moment is irrelevent. What happened in the past is the past, I choose to move forward WITHOUT this person in my life, and there is not point in me attempting to belittle the person by flaunting how better off I am without them. Their own conscious will take care of that for me. The past is gone. What is important is my present, and they are not apart of my present. I would communicate clearly that while I acknowledge the apology, I expect that there would be no further communication. End of discussion. She feels: 1. like she truly did treat you badly and her conscious has finally caught up, 2. she is looking to get back with you and testing the waters. No reason to dive head first into her own head trauma. Its been done with, let it stay done with and be the better person.
" I thank you for sharing, but I don't accept your apology. You really messed up what was a great thing, and I am no longer interested in you" Tell her how you have met someone great and that your life is better off now, and inform her to leave you alone.
While I personally would probably respond back an acknowledgement (note: I did not say acceptance), I wouldn't attempt to flaunt how much better off I am. What is going on in my present moment is irrelevent. What happened in the past is the past, I choose to move forward WITHOUT this person in my life, and there is not point in me attempting to belittle the person by flaunting how better off I am without them. Their own conscious will take care of that for me. The past is gone. What is important is my present, and they are not apart of my present. I would communicate clearly that while I acknowledge the apology, I expect that there would be no further communication. End of discussion. She feels: 1. like she truly did treat you badly and her conscious has finally caught up, 2. she is looking to get back with you and testing the waters. No reason to dive head first into her own head trauma. Its been done with, let it stay done with and be the better person.
this woman may have no ulterior motive other then to apologize...I know, in the past, I have hurt the feelings of others and wanted to apologize to them...so, perhaps this is the same...she's grown up and realized, she caused someone else pain...and wants to make amends?
E-mail her and acknowledge and accept the apology. Then block her and add her to the spam folder.
This is better than i said it. This gets my vote.
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