How long to date before having sex? (interested, relations, passive)

[thatsong64]

I think it depends. If you are exclusive, how long you knew them before you dated, etc etc lots of variables.

I haven't dated a lot in my life but I started "doing stuff" with my husband (when he was my boyfriend) after about 3 months. We got close (emotionally close) really fast so.. not that that's a really good excuse but...

If I was dating now, I would get to know someone for 6 months before getting physical with them beyond kissing and touching.

edit: I hate accidentally posting on threads that are frickin' 2 years old.

[pkrplr1]

Originally Posted by Ankhharu

Sounds like you have some insecurity issues along with difficulty handling woman's sexuality. Goodluck waiting 5 years, because it's unlikely you'll find anyone willing to wait that long. People can get huffy about sex all they want, at the end of the day, the instinct is still there. The desire and drive to have sex is in our DNA. You can't change that. It's nature.

about 9 years ago when i was dating 3 dates seemed to be the norm.

[MontanaGuy]

I shouldn't even admit this but almost all of the sexual encounters that I've had in my life happened on the first night that I met the woman. You know, the 60's, free love and that sort of thing?

[ho hey!]

Originally Posted by Ankhharu

3 maybe 4 dates, after that I'm moving on. There's no way I'd wait 6 months. There are plenty of nice, cool, smart, sexy woman not willing to play some "carrot dangling in front of the horse" game. This country as a whole may demonize sex because of the christian right, but that doesn't mean I have to play along with their attempts to control and manipulate people.

Actually, the whole idea of "sex is bad" came from the Greek Philosophy and Platonic dualism which made its way into the early church.

[thatsong64]

I asked my husband just for fun.

He said he would (of his own choosing, if it was up to him only and the girl was down for it anytime) wait 2 months. If the girl wanted to wait and he thought it could develop into a serious relationship, he would wait any length of time.

[Malkiel]

Originally Posted by EllenOlenska

How long is the norm to date before having sex?

How long do YOU wait before having sex?

To me, at least 6 months of dating.

It's okay. I date multiple women. I have rotations.

[Small_Feather]

Originally Posted by Ankhharu

3 maybe 4 dates, after that I'm moving on. There's no way I'd wait 6 months. There are plenty of nice, cool, smart, sexy woman not willing to play some "carrot dangling in front of the horse" game. .

This is one of the things I hate about dates; they are used by some as nothing more than 'countdowns' to when the man thinks he is either entitled to sex or to self-righteously walk away because he isn't getting what he wants. So on the first date he is up for it, but probably thinks his chances are limited. On the second date he thinks he will probably only have one more to get through and then he is home and dry. One wonders if he ever thinks of anything else on the date, although my guess is that the women he walks away from have had a lucky escape.

What sort of woman would want a relationship with someone who refers to her body as a "dangling carrot" anyway?

[gvillesux]

well, with my wife it was about 2 hours after we met. we left the bar and went skinny dipping and one thing led to another quickly. that was 17 years ago.

[Ankhharu]

Originally Posted by Small_Feather

This is one of the things I hate about dates; they are used by some as nothing more than 'countdowns' to when the man thinks he is either entitled to sex or to self-righteously walk away because he isn't getting what he wants. So on the first date he is up for it, but probably thinks his chances are limited. On the second date he thinks he will probably only have one more to get through and then he is home and dry. One wonders if he ever thinks of anything else on the date, although my guess is that the women he walks away from have had a lucky escape.

What sort of woman would want a relationship with someone who refers to her body as a "dangling carrot" anyway?

I hate to break it to you sweetie, but plenty of woman dangle sex in front of a man like a carrot. You can hate the metaphor all you want, doesn't make it any less true. And I can't say that I've met any woman in the past few years that would be so prudish to try and make me wait in hopes of getting as many free meals, etc as she can. But that's probably because in my older age I've gotten better at spotting these types and don't bother asking them out to begin with. You know the ones that dangle sex in front of you not giving it up for months using you to get as many free dinners, movies, etc as they can get. yea those. I've had several that didn't go past the 1st date, but my decision to not see them any more had nothing to do with sex, but their personality, flags, etc. So I haven't had to exercise the 3-4 in a long time, but think what you want, seen too many guys get played as the girl dangles sex in from him. I play no such games. If we like each other, and we are attracted, there's no reason not to have sex.

[Yiuppy]

Until we're monogamous and in a committed relationship that could probably lead to marriage.