Pregnant teen... confused... upset...needs advice (boyfriend, how to, married, women)

[punkbabe300]

O.K .... Here goes nothing.

I'm 16 years old, and I just moved states. A few weeks after I moved I found out I was A month pregnant. I haven't told my Boy friend back home ,yet, beacause I just found out he cheated on me while I was still home. I'm pretty hurt and confused right now. I feel pretty stupid for believing all of his BS about being in love and what not, and then getting used for sex. My mom knows I'm preg, but I feel like I need someone else to talk to. Maybe someone who is a teen mom. Just someone who can give me advice, some to relate and talk to. I don't know How to tell him I'm pregnant with his baby and I'm afraid he'll try to deny it. If you can relate to this or have any advice please get back to me. I just REALLLLLLY could use someone to talk too.

[professorsenator]

The American Pregnancy Association has a couple of helpful web pages at American Pregnancy Helpline and
American Pregnancy Association : Promoting Pregnancy and Reproductive Wellness

They also have a toll free hotline that you can call to speak to someone who might be able to help: 1-866-942-6466

[Macharuadan]

I've sent you a message in your"box".Good Luck w/everything!I've got those #'s,addresses if need them.Sorry I'm so neg. 2wards the boyfreind,but in most cases,once a cheater,always a cheater.If U need a ear"or in this case an eye" to listen to U,or want more advice write me back.

[JoJosMama]

Well, I wasn't 16, but I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant. And everyone told me I couldn't do it. But I decided that my childhood was over, and I needed to become an adult, and be a mother. The biggest problem with today's society, is that teen girls have babies, and then they don't fully accept the responsibility of them, and the child is sometimes neglected, and doesn't get the full attention it needs, because the parents are still kids themselves. And at 16, it's going to be hard as hell. I don't say this to be mean, and I really hope you don't look at it this way, cause it hurt when people said that I was going to be a horrible mom. And I'm not saying you will. I'm just trying to show you what it is you are going to have to give up to be a mother. Teens have a complex that all teens have, and it's that they are selfish. They are wrapped up in themselves, and the world around them, and that's what makes it hard for them to be parents. So really forget about the boyfriend for now. Right now, you have to make a decision for yourself. I want you to watch Juno. If you haven't seen it, it will open your eyes to adoption, and it really makes you understand a bit more. Sure there is some other silly stuff in there, but it will really show you a little bit what's going to happen. Not just if your considering adoption, but also, what school life will be like. But BE STRONG! Don't drop out! Work your butt off to get that degree! You'll need it if you're keeping this baby. I also urge you not to get an abortion. And I'm not an anti-abortion freak, but it's going to kill you emotionally. I've seen friends go threw that, and you are too young to have to go threw that. Push threw this. You can do it. But forget the boyfriend for awhile. Make this decision. Adoption or raising the baby. Remember, that child is going to need you every waking moment, you will never sleep in again unless your mother is really nice, you probably won't go to college for awhile and do the dorm life, you will probably miss out on lots of activities this year, and you will probably deal with some hard gossip at a new school without friends to support you. This is going to be hard, but you can make it threw this. Be strong. And if you do choose to become a mother, be strong. You will have to give every single ounce of yourself to that child. And it will not be easy. So take some time, you have a good 7 months left, and think about your choices. If you do choose to keep the baby, just call your boyfriend up one day and tell him this "I'm pregnant with your baby. You can deny it all you want, if you want, but it is yours. You can either be a part of the child's life, or you can go on pretending the child doesn't exist. But if you're going to deny this child now, don't come back in 5 years saying you made a mistake. Because if I have to do this on my own now, I don't want your attempt at redemption later after what I will have to go threw." Be tough and firm, don't let him get to you and let him deny the baby. If you choose to be a mother, don't let any one get you down. You can do it. You can email me any time at neurotically_yours2005@yahoo.com and I will help you find all the help you can get financially, for the baby, and everything. It's been hard for me and my husband (We weren't married before but it worked out), but we've made it, and we couldn't imagine our lives without Josie. So, take your time. Let me know how it goes.

[flo2900]

Originally Posted by punkbabe300

O.K .... Here goes nothing.

I'm 16 years old, and I just moved states. A few weeks after I moved I found out I was A month pregnant. I haven't told my Boy friend back home ,yet, beacause I just found out he cheated on me while I was still home. I'm pretty hurt and confused right now. I feel pretty stupid for believing all of his BS about being in love and what not, and then getting used for sex. My mom knows I'm preg, but I feel like I need someone else to talk to. Maybe someone who is a teen mom. Just someone who can give me advice, some to relate and talk to. I don't know How to tell him I'm pregnant with his baby and I'm afraid he'll try to deny it. If you can relate to this or have any advice please get back to me. I just REALLLLLLY could use someone to talk too.

if is not to late abortion is always an option....if you don`t agree w that than adoption is another one...at 16 youre NOT ready to be a parent....you will become a public burden if you decide to raise the child on your own....you made a mistake but still have time to recover from it...don`t throw your life away...good luck!

[shihtzumom]

Originally Posted by JoJosMama

Well, I wasn't 16, but I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant. And everyone told me I couldn't do it. But I decided that my childhood was over, and I needed to become an adult, and be a mother. The biggest problem with today's society, is that teen girls have babies, and then they don't fully accept the responsibility of them, and the child is sometimes neglected, and doesn't get the full attention it needs, because the parents are still kids themselves. And at 16, it's going to be hard as hell. I don't say this to be mean, and I really hope you don't look at it this way, cause it hurt when people said that I was going to be a horrible mom. And I'm not saying you will. I'm just trying to show you what it is you are going to have to give up to be a mother. Teens have a complex that all teens have, and it's that they are selfish. They are wrapped up in themselves, and the world around them, and that's what makes it hard for them to be parents. So really forget about the boyfriend for now. Right now, you have to make a decision for yourself. I want you to watch Juno. If you haven't seen it, it will open your eyes to adoption, and it really makes you understand a bit more. Sure there is some other silly stuff in there, but it will really show you a little bit what's going to happen. Not just if your considering adoption, but also, what school life will be like. But BE STRONG! Don't drop out! Work your butt off to get that degree! You'll need it if you're keeping this baby. I also urge you not to get an abortion. And I'm not an anti-abortion freak, but it's going to kill you emotionally. I've seen friends go threw that, and you are too young to have to go threw that. Push threw this. You can do it. But forget the boyfriend for awhile. Make this decision. Adoption or raising the baby. Remember, that child is going to need you every waking moment, you will never sleep in again unless your mother is really nice, you probably won't go to college for awhile and do the dorm life, you will probably miss out on lots of activities this year, and you will probably deal with some hard gossip at a new school without friends to support you. This is going to be hard, but you can make it threw this. Be strong. And if you do choose to become a mother, be strong. You will have to give every single ounce of yourself to that child. And it will not be easy. So take some time, you have a good 7 months left, and think about your choices. If you do choose to keep the baby, just call your boyfriend up one day and tell him this "I'm pregnant with your baby. You can deny it all you want, if you want, but it is yours. You can either be a part of the child's life, or you can go on pretending the child doesn't exist. But if you're going to deny this child now, don't come back in 5 years saying you made a mistake. Because if I have to do this on my own now, I don't want your attempt at redemption later after what I will have to go threw." Be tough and firm, don't let him get to you and let him deny the baby. If you choose to be a mother, don't let any one get you down. You can do it. You can email me any time at neurotically_yours2005@yahoo.com and I will help you find all the help you can get financially, for the baby, and everything. It's been hard for me and my husband (We weren't married before but it worked out), but we've made it, and we couldn't imagine our lives without Josie. So, take your time. Let me know how it goes.

I think it is VERY wrong of you to tell this confused, young girl not to get an abortion. It could SAVE her, not kill her. Going through a 9 month pregnancy then adoption could "kill her" emotionally, physically, financially, her family, ect. Abortion may be the right choice for her even though it wasn't for your friends. Many, many women go through them just fine and are better off!!

[yankeegirl313]

Originally Posted by shihtzumom

I think it is VERY wrong of you to tell this confused, young girl not to get an abortion. It could SAVE her, not kill her. Going through a 9 month pregnancy then adoption could "kill her" emotionally, physically, financially, her family, ect. Abortion may be the right choice for her even though it wasn't for your friends. Many, many women go through them just fine and are better off!!

Whew......I best back out of this one!

[veuvegirl]

First off, you are not stupid! Boys have a way of taking advantage and manipulating. It has happened to most women. Secondly, you are very brave not only tell your mom, but reach out for help.

16 is a very tough age to make your own decision what to do with your future, I suggest you reach out to the hotline above and discuss your situation. Ultimately, this is your decision, you must go with your gut.

What I will tell you, whatever your decision, there is no right or wrong answer. Many people will give you their opinions and preach to you their beliefs. This is a life changing decision, so think through it as much as possible. It will change your life, no matter what you do.

I had an abortion at a young age, I was in an abusive relationship and I couldn't imagine bringing a baby into this world with an abusive man. I was scared, and didn't feel I had anyone to turn to. I still know this was the right decision for me it doesn't mean it is the right decision for everyone.

Do your best to think of your future, with a baby, giving the baby up for adoption, or ending the pregnancy. It is a lot to think about, but do what you think is right, the best of luck to you.

[GloryB]

If this will help you Sweetie, my daughter got pregnant at 17 from a boy who was even younger than she was. Originally, she planned to give up the baby for adoption, but as time went on she really wanted to keep the baby.

I was devastated in the beginning and really couldn't comprehend how she would be able to care for and raise a baby. But her son was born a year ago and he is now the joy of all of our lives.

You just have to take each month as it comes, face who you have to face and make decisions that are right for you and your child. It won't be an easy road. Finances are a big hurdle. COMPLETE as much schooling as you can and get a job on the side. There are government and private agencies that will help you, but you need as much money as you can save up on your own also.

Regardless of your age, you are now a mom. Even though this is the hardest time in your life, the day will come when you will hold your child in your arms and the love the two of you will have for each other....will far surpass any problems you are facing now. There is GREAT joy at the end of this tunnel.

[SanAntoQT]

Originally Posted by shihtzumom

I think it is VERY wrong of you to tell this confused, young girl not to get an abortion. It could SAVE her, not kill her. Going through a 9 month pregnancy then adoption could "kill her" emotionally, physically, financially, her family, ect. Abortion may be the right choice for her even though it wasn't for your friends. Many, many women go through them just fine and are better off!!

Yep...keep trying to convince yourself.