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Old 08-09-2008, 10:13 AM
 
14,755 posts, read 14,519,579 times
Reputation: 8152
Quote:
Originally Posted by mr bolo View Post
I have no plans on getting married and never want children, and Im not gay
Yeah, kids are a pain. Once I got to a certain point, I added 22 years (time to put them through college) to my age and said "no thanks." My best friend from college just got divorced (about three years) and got out cleanly because they had no kids. He says he feels fortunate that it happened this way, adding "kids are a waste of time and money." I'm not as negative on kids as he is, but they seem to bore me, particularly when they are little.

I don't have a problem with being in a childless marriage at some point, but it seems that the crop of intelligent, attractive women who have a decent job has been picked through. In the aisle at Safeway, you'll note that anyone fitting the above description sports a shiny "rock."
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Old 08-09-2008, 10:15 AM
 
1,874 posts, read 520,547 times
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I think its better to be in a childfree marriage than be married and have to put up with these little brats. I don't understand why most women want to pollute.

Haven't they noticed that kids are a huge expense and responsibility?
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
Yeah, kids are a pain. Once I got to a certain point, I added 22 years (time to put them through college) to my age and said "no thanks." My best friend from college just got divorced (about three years) and got out cleanly because they had no kids. He says he feels fortunate that it happened this way, adding "kids are a waste of time and money." I'm not as negative on kids as he is, but they seem to bore me, particularly when they are little.

I don't have a problem with being in a childless marriage at some point, but it seems that the crop of intelligent, attractive women who have a decent job has been picked through. In the aisle at Safeway, you'll note that anyone fitting the above description sports a shiny "rock."
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Old 08-09-2008, 10:17 AM
 
14,755 posts, read 14,519,579 times
Reputation: 8152
Quote:
Originally Posted by mackinac81 View Post
Unfortunately, however, there is that stigma against being single and never married, and it's just stupid. Just goes to show you how society expects conformity, and when you don't conform you get judged and treated as something you're not.
Accurate. There is a stigma. And conformity means going to the company's Christmas party with a date or significant other. I have walked in alone or didn't go, as have others. It's unfortunate, but that, and other back-slapping events, help one's career. Not going can be disadvantageous but, sometimes, I just haven't felt like it. That's part and parcel of the conformity you speak to.
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Old 08-09-2008, 10:27 AM
 
14,755 posts, read 14,519,579 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arf Arf View Post
Stop and look at some of the people you know who are in lousy marriages or have had multiple marriages. I fully believe that these are people who should have waited to get married or perhaps never gotten married.

Fact: Marriage and parenthood is not for everyone. Most people consider a person unfulfilled and incomplete without a mate and children. They are wrong. They are projecting onto others their own values. It is quite possible to be single and childless and have a fulfilling, happy life.

I believe that a great number of people can't deal with singles. I think many are secretly envious of the freedom. And I think it threatens them, especially if they themselves are single because it takes more people out of the market.
Very perceptive posts, particularly the bold type:

1) Yes, some should have never gotten married, and now they've left their dysfunctional ways to kids that will have to sort that out...I can think of many examples of this...in fact, it's all the more reason NOT to have kids.

2) True about the perception that there is a lack of fulfillment and blessings to people without kids, which is highly presumptuous on the part of the person thinking that. Some of the worst offenders in this regard are Mormons, whose very religious beliefs equate blessings with cranking out kids. Anybody who stops and thinks will know that, it really isn't about the blessings, but populating their church and ultimately enhancing its cash flow. (I am not Mormon, thank God). People, of faith or of no faith, just need to mind their own business.

3) Yes, some people are uncomfortable and insecure around singles, as if being married with kids is a superior state. They just don't know what to do with them.
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Old 08-09-2008, 06:38 PM
 
Location: NC
329 posts, read 290,562 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Gay men are notorious for not wanting to be committed in relationships with anyone....another reason is because it is strange for a straight man not to committ to a woman by the age of 30. So he either is GAY, closet gay, closet bisexual, narcissistic, or cannot find a good partner (I've heard horror stories about abusive women).

Says who? And why is their opinion any more important than anyone elses?

Im 32, never married, no kids. I've watched my 2 other brothers go through multiple marriages and get taken for everything (granted they deserved it).

Like a previous poster said. Some of us just have not met the right woman yet.
Nothing more, nothing less.
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Old 08-09-2008, 06:44 PM
Status: "Proud to not be a Dylan fan." (set 6 days ago)
 
Location: So Cal
24,353 posts, read 18,064,738 times
Reputation: 22934
Quote:
Originally Posted by bby07 View Post
Why are people who aren't married by the time they're 30 considered gay or people tell them they're going to be lonely later on in life. I know most people are married with babies when they're 30 maybe this has something to do with it, if we do what everybody else does were considered normal or something. This seems like something that everyone would have believed in the 1950s but it's still going on today, and even the women on Sex and the City got married at the end of the show. I heard that Paula Deen's son was gay because he's in his late 30s and he is still single and not a father yet.

But the real question I'm asking is are we supposed to end up married with babies and a job and a home to call our own? And why are people considered gay if they're not married by a certain age?
Excuse my judgemental attitude.

This is a lame ass post.
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Old 08-10-2008, 10:09 AM
 
Location: a primitive state
6,970 posts, read 11,852,123 times
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I'm surprised that no one has simply stated that being gay makes you gay - nothing else.

I don't think that it's unusual for some young people to worry about this, especially if they've had a hard time getting in a relationship. But no, gay is when you are very attracted to someone of the same sex. So don't freak out. And if you are, then don't freak out.

Even heterosexuals sometimes feel attracted to people of the same sex. But if you are irresistibly drawn to idea of making out, and so on and so forth, with anyone, odds are that's the kind of person you are attracted to.
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Old 08-10-2008, 10:52 AM
 
14,755 posts, read 14,519,579 times
Reputation: 8152
Quote:
Originally Posted by tripleh View Post
Says who? And why is their opinion any more important than anyone elses?

Im 32, never married, no kids. I've watched my 2 other brothers go through multiple marriages and get taken for everything (granted they deserved it).

Like a previous poster said. Some of us just have not met the right woman yet. Nothing more, nothing less.
I think I've seen some surveys on this, or articles. The marriage rate has dropped considerably over the last few decades and people are marrying later, particularly men. There are enough statistics on this trend.

One of the primary reasons, if not 50% minimum, was FINANCIAL. Let's face it. If you are married and live in a nicer suburban home, especially in a suburb of LA, SF, NY or Boston and you divorce, and you are a middle to middle-plus income earning professional, you will NO longer have that standard of living. You will probably be looking at rent receipts or be purchasing a smaller condo. This alone is reason not to get married. It's ridiculous that there ought to be a financial fallout that is so skewed toward messing up the male in the couple. I have seen it happen quite a bit.

It would probably be easier to get over the emotional baggage of a failed marriage than the lingering economic effects.
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Old 08-10-2008, 12:21 PM
 
1,874 posts, read 520,547 times
Reputation: 145
Its pretty hard to find the ight woman these days, esp. for Gen' Y. Now, people can say I'm negative, because what I see in women and what they're doing, its nothing positive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tripleh View Post
Says who? And why is their opinion any more important than anyone elses?

Im 32, never married, no kids. I've watched my 2 other brothers go through multiple marriages and get taken for everything (granted they deserved it).

Like a previous poster said. Some of us just have not met the right woman yet.
Nothing more, nothing less.
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Old 08-10-2008, 01:32 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 33,520,431 times
Reputation: 6690
It is strange. You and your brothers are not relationship type people = narcissists; however people of today are not raised in good relationships or households so life is strange....

Quote:
Originally Posted by tripleh View Post
Says who? And why is their opinion any more important than anyone elses?

Im 32, never married, no kids. I've watched my 2 other brothers go through multiple marriages and get taken for everything (granted they deserved it).

Like a previous poster said. Some of us just have not met the right woman yet.
Nothing more, nothing less.
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