I Think She's Up to Something (wife, boyfriend, how to, marriage)

[StuckPA]

I just found some pictures of my wife in 'sexy' poses on our computer. The last time I saw something like this was when she had the same type of pics from before we met and she was flirting online. Also I had found an email recently between her and her 'ex'boyfriend...the reason I say it that way is because I don't think she was ever done with him even though he moved away. The last bit of 'evidence' I have is that up until recently she seemed to have been really stressed out in this relationship and now when she comes home she's quite perky...
I'm wondering what the hell is going on!
Of course when I 'confront' her with any of this she says it like I'm imagining things or she gets angrily defensive and starts digging for any little things I may have done,even though I really haven't 'done' them.
I mean wtf?

[LynnePatrice]

Well it seems to me you don't trust her for whatever reason if you have been looking at her e-mail account and private computer stuff. Yeah, there shouldn't be secrets in a marriage but snooping isn't cool either. Are you guys having problems in general? Could those pictures be old?? Every once in a while someone from you past may e-mail you, maybe she didn't initiate contact and he did? I think you need to talk to her or drop it. There's not much proof here.

[Rathagos]

Heck yeah. If she's not cheating on you now, she's thinking of it. There's no other reason for her to have pictures of that type anywhere unless you were involved in taking them or they were a surprise for you. Since she didn't yell "Surprise!!" I'm not thinking they were for you. Unlike the preceding poster, I think you have more than enough to draw your conclusions.

As for her looking for your stuff, she's probably just trying to find a reason or excuse for her to carry on or justify her behavior.

There's one other possibility, and that is that she feels like something's missing from your relationship and she's looking for a little attention online without really thinking of doing anything. She wants to hear from others that she's still attractive and desirable. Just another thought.

You have two choices.. trust her, talk it out, and wait, or....

[mrstewart]

Originally Posted by StuckPA

I just found some pictures of my wife in 'sexy' poses on our computer. The last time I saw something like this was when she had the same type of pics from before we met and she was flirting online. Also I had found an email recently between her and her 'ex'boyfriend...the reason I say it that way is because I don't think she was ever done with him even though he moved away. The last bit of 'evidence' I have is that up until recently she seemed to have been really stressed out in this relationship and now when she comes home she's quite perky...
I'm wondering what the hell is going on!
Of course when I 'confront' her with any of this she says it like I'm imagining things or she gets angrily defensive and starts digging for any little things I may have done,even though I really haven't 'done' them.
I mean wtf?

I am so sorry. This must be terribly upsetting for you. She is probably deflecting attention from herself by putting the blame on you for "misdeeds".

It certainly sounds like she is up to something. I would send the email to your computer and save it. Also, save the pics, print them, and put them in a safe deposit box. You may need them.

Have you tried calling the ex boyfriend? Maybe you should call him in front of her...I don't know. Just thinking about different options.

[*Danielle*]

Yeah, there is no concrete evidence...

ETA...Im sorry your feeling this way and I hope she is faithful wife...

[StuckPA]

Originally Posted by LynnePatrice

Well it seems to me you don't trust her for whatever reason if you have been looking at her e-mail account and private computer stuff. Yeah, there shouldn't be secrets in a marriage but snooping isn't cool either. Are you guys having problems in general? Could those pictures be old?? Every once in a while someone from you past may e-mail you, maybe she didn't initiate contact and he did? I think you need to talk to her or drop it. There's not much proof here.

Coming from another woman,sorry but I'm not buying it

I wasn't looking at anything private,the pictures are in our pictures folder and as for the email I guess some light shone through and she just happened to have it open one day. Hell with me she put a spyware thing on the computer to monitor all of my activity so this is light compared to that!
Btw the pictures were just taken yesterday when I was at work.
And it doesn't matter who initiated contact between her and ex,the point is no one is backing down!

[ttraider512]

Originally Posted by mrstewart

I am so sorry. This must be terribly upsetting for you. She is probably deflecting attention from herself by putting the blame on you for "misdeeds".

It certainly sounds like she is up to something. I would send the email to your computer and save it. Also, save the pics, print them, and put them in a safe deposit box. You may need them.

Have you tried calling the ex boyfriend? Maybe you should call him in front of her...I don't know. Just thinking about different options.

Why would he want to keep/print sexy pictures of is significant other in a SDB ? LOL for evidence when things go sour?

Hmm, yah this happened to me, my last g/f snooped on my im message files and found some history that indicated I had messed around with someone like 2 months into our relationship. So we broke up. Her relationship before ours ended as well when she noticed an incoming message from a girl that her b/f at the time was with. So i guess she always felt the need to check on peoples files and stuff. If she hadn't we'd probably be married by now

Yah its bad to snoop because it definitely blurs the line between trust...what you dont know won't hurt you.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by StuckPA

I just found some pictures of my wife in 'sexy' poses on our computer.

Are the pictures new? How took them if you're not aware of them?

[SanAntoQT]

Originally Posted by ttraider512

Why would he want to keep/print sexy pictures of is significant other in a SDB ? LOL for evidence when things go sour?

Hmm, yah this happened to me, my last g/f snooped on my im message files and found some history that indicated I had messed around with someone like 2 months into our relationship. So we broke up. Her relationship before ours ended as well when she noticed an incoming message from a girl that her b/f at the time was with. So i guess she always felt the need to check on peoples files and stuff. If she hadn't we'd probably be married by now

Yah its bad to snoop because it definitely blurs the line between trust...what you dont know won't hurt you.

But, then again, you shouldn't do anything that will hurt someone else, whether they know it or not. It's called integrity.

[StuckPA]

Originally Posted by Rathagos

There's one other possibility, and that is that she feels like something's missing from your relationship and she's looking for a little attention online without really thinking of doing anything. She wants to hear from others that she's still attractive and desirable. Just another thought.

Hell I'm a guy that's supposed to have an ego,how come I don't go out seeking attention? Oh that's right because I gave up a long time ago.
Maybe I'm old fashioned or something but if you can't get most of what you need from a marriage then why be married? Oh because marriage doesn't work that's why