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there is no rule that says family has to be there every waking moment of the day. when you set that standard, it will probably go unmet. she should be happy she has a cousin that took an interest in her life, even for a short time period. people come into our lives, stay for a while, or forever. its the way it goes.
but the bond of family should be strong enough to withstand some time away from eachtother. two of my brothers live 400 miles away. we chat periodically. am i the type of person to answer their call with a "well its about time!!!" ? no, i answer their call with glee. i understand they have lives, as do i, and i appreciate the time i have with them. what i do tell them, is "call my mom!" she needs to hear from them. old age and all. im okay with the occasional calls.
i think that it is hard adjusting to change, and that is the case here. she needs to get used to not always having people around. sometimes is just baby and me. no one has an obligation to anyone. we are in eachothers lives freely.
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Originally Posted by artsyguy
Your comments are so callous. She didn't say her cousin could not be friends with other people. She is being snubbed by her relative. That is painful. She also set boundaries with her cousin and she is not obeying the boundaries. Can't you understand that?
Let's clear something up - did she PROMISE to keep in touch on a regular basis? Or did she say she'd TRY? Big difference, right?
Speaking of fumbling around - I never got an answer as to why everyone in my family started dying off when I was 7, even though I asked a LOT of people...sometimes life just happens. Perhaps these early lessons could be beneficial to your daughter, in a way that we can't see right now...
She said she felt really bad and she knew it was messed up of her and she promised to KIT........Look, I don't expect her to call every day or even every week but maybe once a month even just to talk to my daughter......i mean common......But yea, she has an awesome aunt Tina who loves her and an Awesome Uncle B who loves her and awesome family but still........it always burns.
there is no rule that says family has to be there every waking moment of the day. when you set that standard, it will probably go unmet. she should be happy she has a cousin that took an interest in her life, even for a short time period. people come into our lives, stay for a while, or forever. its the way it goes.
but the bond of family should be strong enough to withstand some time away from eachtother. two of my brothers live 400 miles away. we chat periodically. am i the type of person to answer their call with a "well its about time!!!" ? no, i answer their call with glee. i understand they have lives, as do i, and i appreciate the time i have with them. what i do tell them, is "call my mom!" she needs to hear from them. old age and all. im okay with the occasional calls.
i think that it is hard adjusting to change, and that is the case here. she needs to get used to not always having people around. sometimes is just baby and me. no one has an obligation to anyone. we are in eachothers lives freely.
Needy? Really? Dude, I'm not askin' her to hold my friggin hand.....maybe call my daughter once a month....too much to ask? I think not. She knows having a child look up to you and love you is a responsibility......it's totally fine with me if she doesn't want to be a part of that but then stay the hell away.......don't come in and out of our lives and expect that to be okay......
She said she felt really bad and she knew it was messed up of her and she promised to KIT........Look, I don't expect her to call every day or even every week but maybe once a month even just to talk to my daughter......i mean common......But yea, she has an awesome aunt Tina who loves her and an Awesome Uncle B who loves her and awesome family but still........it always burns.
OK, she did promise then - then she's wrong not to keep her promise. And I agree - once a month at least is doable on most schedules.
But 5-year olds are 5-year olds - I'd be willing to bet that she'll forget about the slight rather quickly if it isn't brought up in conversation too often.
And hey - you've got all those other great folks in her life - what more could she (you) want?
Maybe she concentrates now on her problems and her issues , she is busy and needs time to handle her situation in life , and after a while she will come back to you and your daughter. Don't worry about your daughter just tell her the truth . your cousin is not mean just has a lot of work to do.
OK, she did promise then - then she's wrong not to keep her promise. And I agree - once a month at least is doable on most schedules.
But 5-year olds are 5-year olds - I'd be willing to bet that she'll forget about the slight rather quickly if it isn't brought up in conversation too often.
And hey - you've got all those other great folks in her life - what more could she (you) want?
Yea this is true......I am fine with her being gone but my daughter for some reason latches on to her like she's going out of style.....I have no idea why she's so attached bcs she's not that way with anyone else........she asks about her quite often and i usually say auntey dez is working or auntey dez is out of town but my girl is smart.....she's going to/ if she hasn't already/ figure out something's not right.
You are not a relationship type of person, that is clear. There is more to the equation than what meets the eye. You just do not get it.
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Originally Posted by the one
maybe shes just too needy?
there is no rule that says family has to be there every waking moment of the day. when you set that standard, it will probably go unmet. she should be happy she has a cousin that took an interest in her life, even for a short time period. people come into our lives, stay for a while, or forever. its the way it goes.
but the bond of family should be strong enough to withstand some time away from eachtother. two of my brothers live 400 miles away. we chat periodically. am i the type of person to answer their call with a "well its about time!!!" ? no, i answer their call with glee. i understand they have lives, as do i, and i appreciate the time i have with them. what i do tell them, is "call my mom!" she needs to hear from them. old age and all. im okay with the occasional calls.
i think that it is hard adjusting to change, and that is the case here. she needs to get used to not always having people around. sometimes is just baby and me. no one has an obligation to anyone. we are in eachothers lives freely.
You are right. Big Brothers and Big Sisters organization have researched that when adults are unstable, and unreliable in a child's life it can do much more harm than good to the child. That is why they require the mentor to have a background check and be a reliable mentor for one year and hold once a week meetings with the child.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lola8822
Needy? Really? Dude, I'm not askin' her to hold my friggin hand.....maybe call my daughter once a month....too much to ask? I think not. She knows having a child look up to you and love you is a responsibility......it's totally fine with me if she doesn't want to be a part of that but then stay the hell away.......don't come in and out of our lives and expect that to be okay......
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