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I have not read the whole thread, so I may repeat things, do not know.
I agree with the OP. I do think there are women who are probably considered 'datable' as well as women considered'the ones to marry.'
With that said, I do not think that there is a double standard. In having my opionion that way, I think it probably works both ways.
Now, with that part said... Personally, I do not think I would date the man who would be considered to others as only the datable man. May be that we go on that first date and I find that he is one that people may perceive as only datable, never one that I would marry. The thing with that feeling is that I do not want to date a man who is not 'good enough' to marry.
I do not know if I am making a whole lot of sense in trying to explain this or not, hoping that I am getting across what I am feeling.
My boyfriend is a man that I would marry. Were he not, I would not be with him. He sits there now, on the couch. We are at his mothers house. Eyes closed.... I smile at him.
I know in this world, in this life there are both types for the man and woman. The one to date and the one to marry. For me, there is only one. I am not a party girl. I am not the type to go out and be with the datable one, because what would that make me? I won't say the words..
How did I get here? My husband... what was he? I thought he was the one to marry. I was so wrong. I was so young, and so wrong. Not the one to date, not the one to marry. He was the one who would go on to treat me so very badly, and I was the onbe blinded to it all. For seventeen years. Blind.
Eyes wide open now. Knowing better. If that man sitting on the couch over there were just one to spend time with, just one to date... I would know better, from those seventeen years. He is not. Much more than that, so much more.
Do we have fun? Of course we do. But that is not all there is with us. I hate football. Love him though.
I happen to know someone who married a BEAUTIFUL woman...she wasn't easy, so to speak, but she does have severe confidence issues. She is very high maintenance, controlling, and rude. Can't image what goes on behind closed doors. I don't mean to be off color, but, they say, people, both men and women who are insecure...are extremely good in the bedroom....they use sex to get what they want...I personally know this to be true...internally, they feel so insecure, therefore, they make it a goal of theirs to be extremely good at love making.
She is not that beautiful then. That saying is not true especially if it involves a beautiful women. The truth is that insecure people are really good at taking abuse. So your friend is the one who is insecure he should man up and put her back in her place.
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So the solution is robbing the cradle?! How did I not think of it?!
I wouldn't consider it robbing the cradle. Beside we did not get married for a number of years. Still we have been married for 13 years and been together for 17. How many women have I met who are single into their mid 30's? A lot. All I am saying is the best women get taken first and the bitchy are let to ponder the future with their cats. Peace
a "man" who respects himself...not a boy possessing hormones with little arms and legs. If a man respects himself, he respects everyone else around him...
So you don't respect yourself and you're not a man if you turned down sex with a gorgeous girl on account of only just meeting her? Haha, whatever. You have interesting standards. It has nothing to do with hormones, and everything to do with the fact that you should never turn down sex with a beautiful woman, unless she has STDs or something. Why do I have to get to know a girl before I have sex with her? Is that going to make the sex better? No, not really. It's just a physical thing, it's going to be just as great whether I know her name or not for that matter. If it's Jessica Alba, I don't need to know anything about her to know I wouldn't turn down sex with her. It's useless putting up these silly barriers and building a temple to sex. It's not special, it's not unique, every animal does it, it's just sex. It's there for pleasure.
But some people like me want to make love not have sex. Do you know the difference dear simpleton?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonathanLB
So you don't respect yourself and you're not a man if you turned down sex with a gorgeous girl on account of only just meeting her? Haha, whatever. You have interesting standards. It has nothing to do with hormones, and everything to do with the fact that you should never turn down sex with a beautiful woman, unless she has STDs or something. Why do I have to get to know a girl before I have sex with her? Is that going to make the sex better? No, not really. It's just a physical thing, it's going to be just as great whether I know her name or not for that matter. If it's Jessica Alba, I don't need to know anything about her to know I wouldn't turn down sex with her. It's useless putting up these silly barriers and building a temple to sex. It's not special, it's not unique, every animal does it, it's just sex. It's there for pleasure.
...It has nothing to do with hormones, and everything to do with the fact that you should never turn down sex with a beautiful woman, unless she has STDs or something.
Do the women you date/sleep with come with a label that states whether they have an STD or not?
All I am saying is the best women get taken first and the bitchy are let to ponder the future with their cats. Peace
Ouch! I'd just like to say that I avoided getting married in my twenties because it took me a while to finish growing as a person and finding out who I was. I guess that makes me slow and "special". lol. Anyway, I've very glad that I didn't get married right after college. I never understood the need to rush into marriage and kids.
When people think that I'm thirty and I tell them that I'm almost 50, I tell them that my secret was not being married and not having kids.
With my 27 year old boyfriend, I tell him that I was waiting for him to catch up to me. We also joke that he was a special order that took a long time to design and perfect, and that UPS also misplaced the package.
And about sleeping together on the first date. There's a way of doing it that is classy and as if it were fate. Then the wrong way is to get drunk, be easy and throw all morals out to the wind.
LOL! I have heard the same from many women. Marriage is a sucker's game for them, too. Taking care of someone else's son in exchange for...?
Yes but from what I've seen it is usually women who pressure men into getting married. It is so bad that I just lie to women about my intentions to get married, have kids etc. Otherwise I am thrown in the, "not interested" pool pretty quickly. Women who do not want to marry are a rare breed.
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How did I not think of it?!
