How important is attitude when it comes to being attracted to someone? (wife, woman)

[ElizabethC]

I've noticed that for me, a guy's attitude and the way he carries and regards himself impacts my attraction for him. I've known guys that were really good looking but they had extremely low self-esteem and that for me killed the attraction and then I've known guys that were decent looking - but nothing to get excited over - yet because of the way their attitude the attraction toward them was crazy.

I've also found myself attracted to guys based on "who they were", kwim?

Am I the only one like this?

[cpg35223]

Well, it cuts both ways.

There is a woman at our church with the two most beautiful daughters you've ever seen. Both are in their late teens or early 20s. Seriously drop-dead gorgeous. Yet they never smile. As in ever. As in they are sullen creatures. Who would want to approach a woman like that under any circumstances?

[yankeegirl313]

Let me be honest here.....my husband is not the best looking creature, but it was his confidence in himself that attracted me to him.

[LaoTzuMindFu]

I think its very important but it depends on the attitude that a person likes. When I first met my wife, one of the things that kind of attracted me to her (other than the fact that she really is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen) is that she had kind of a bitc*y personaility. Not mean, just kind of bitc*y. Think Karina Smirnoff on Dancing With The Stars. But once I got to know her, she turned out to be one of the sweetest nicest people in the world.

But that initial "bad girl" or "eastern European smugness" really attracted me to her.

[pitt_transplant]

I think everyone is like this on basic interaction.

My old roomate and I would play a game when we would go out and act as a charachter type. Body lang, subject of conversation, clothing...the works...(acting practice and boredom killer)

It affected how everyone treated us majorly.

Its really strange to actually make yourself walk in another persons shoes.

[Tzaphkiel]

Originally Posted by ElizabethC

I've noticed that for me, a guy's attitude and the way he carries and regards himself impacts my attraction for him. I've known guys that were really good looking but they had extremely low self-esteem and that for me killed the attraction and then I've known guys that were decent looking - but nothing to get excited over - yet because of the way their attitude the attraction toward them was crazy.

I've also found myself attracted to guys based on "who they were", kwim?

i have to totally agree with you here
attitudes that for me are a total turn off are when someone is arrogant, or a name-dropper, or boastful, or showy-offy, or absorbed in their looks or their clothes or their car or their money

and attitudes that make a person shine for me and make them sooooooo attractive in terms of wanting to be with them or get to know them better include direct eye contact, eyes that sparkle, laughs easily, present in the moment (as in not distracted), really listens, courteous to those around them, and speaks kindly rather than critically

[mrstewart]

Attitude definitely attracts people to one another. My husband has an easy laugh and a quick smile but he also gives off a feeling that everything is possible in this world...he has a contagious quality of hope and that definitely attracted me to him. And he is not too sore on the eyes, if you know what I mean.

[KentuckyBlueMoon]

I think attitude is very important. Attitude is everything. I think a lot of people are self conscious and develop great personalities to compensate. I have met some ridiculousy handsome men with horrible attitudes.....like they are all that and a bag of chips. Pfffffft