Interracial Relationships: Have you ever been in one? (attractive, Latin, beautiful)

[LovelyinLa]

Originally Posted by miu

But my point is, the child's life is their own to live. A parent has no right to dictate any child to live the way they want... whether it's wanting them to be a doctor, or who to marry, their sexual orientation or how they want to present themselves to the world. If a child is mixed or has parents from a more traditional culture, you can't force them to be mini-me's of yourself. If anything, the schoolyard years are the toughest on children. All they want to do is fit in with their peers and not get picked upon. So if a white looking mulatto wants to pass as a full blooded white child, then I don't see the harm in that. And once they are more confidant adults, they can still choose to change their outlook on life further.

Of course, both parents should always make available to their children their family culture and history, and always in a positive light, but ultimately, the child has to make his or her own choices as to how to deal with those aspects of their background. If a child is growing up in a diverse neighborhood, then dealing with a mixed heritage is much easier. But should the child be raised in a predominately white neighborhood, then why not let the child pass for white if he or she wants to in order to better fit in? I feel that children are very adaptable and smart creatures. Just let them explore their world and interact with their friends as they see fit. Having good social skills is so important in life. Hard headed people don't do as well as those that are more flexible to their environment. Compare Jesse Jackson's way to Obama's, Obama acting more white is succeeding where Jackson didn't. BTW I feel that "acting white" is a garbage term.

Yes, I did see Imitation of Life a long time ago. But that was also made in a much different era. And how is that different from any immigrant coming to this country, giving their children American names and encouraging them to speak English instead of their native tongue? Parents want what's best for the children so that they can succeed as happy well adjusted adults in the environment where they will be leaving. How many Irish Americans do you know that speak Gallic? Or German Americans that speak German?

LOL!! This has to be the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Don't get me wrong I know you're entitled to your opinion but then again so am I and if I remember correctly you're currently dating a white man ( if I'm wrong I apologize), say you're white looking child goes to school and hangs out with the white kids who then start to make fun of Asians. What exactly is that child supposed to do? Are they supposed to acknowledge that he/she is in fact half Asian or will they do what most kids do and remain quiet. You don't see any harm in that to a child. You don't see that child growing up with serious self esteem/self hatred issues? As parents it's our responsibility to make sure that our children are never put in that position by making sure that they know they are loved and perfect just the way they are. NOT by encouraging them to deny who they are. Your idea that it's ok, to "pretend" to be something that you're not seems so very hurtful to a child. As implies that something about them isn't good enough.

Are there biracial people out there who, live this way. I'm sure it is, but you have to wonder how happy they are. Going to their relatives homes, sharing their lives with them but they can't meet them at work for lunch because some one will find out? That's crazy and I can't believe any psychologically healthy adult would encourage this behavior. Sure, the child may feel that way especially if he/she lives in a neighborhood where one race is predominant. But again its called PARENTING. Children are not born ashamed of themselves. That's a learned behavior and can be corrected. Besides, of the biracial people I know (they're black/white), it's the ones who in my opinion look completely white to me who are the most at ease with BOTH parts of their heritage so that tells me that this "trying to pass" can definitely be avoided. As it should be, and at the very least discouraged.

Also, Obama doesn't "act white" and if you didn't believe in that term you shouldn't have used it. To clear it up, Obama and his wife Michelle are highly educated people. So it always amazes me that people are surprised when educated people know how to put a sentence together and when they do, they're "acting white". That is unbelieveably racist of you ( but definitely sheds light on why you feel the way you do). Because we all know, there are NO intelligent Black people therefore his behavior could only describe as trying to act like some white person (but I see that you're not giving him that consideration you mentioned earlier because according to you if someone is biracial and they don't want to claim part of their he wouldn't be "acting white", right?). Oh, but only light skinned/white looking biracial kids get that consideration. As far as you're concerned he's just black. BTW, IMO the reason Obama has succeeded where Jackson failed is because Obama is New School and Jackson is Old School.

Also, my mentioning the movie Imitiation of Life was due to the subject matter. I never said that it was only applicable to Black and White. You said that. I'm also aware that it was made in a different era, but you clearly demonstrate that those types of attitudes are still around.

[Leilani Vasquez]

My children have never had an issues with identity. We live in an extremely diverse area and they spend equal time with both halves of the family.

We try to raise our children to judge people on their character, not their backgrounds. They have friends of all backgrounds and in my opinion, a lot of families today aren't judgemental as far as who their child should be around as regards to race or what have you.

When my husband and I were younger, stares from people used to bother us. We don't even look past that anymore. It's a matter of being comfortable with who you are and not worrying about what others think of you.

[LovelyinLa]

Originally Posted by Leilani Vasquez

My children have never had an issues with identity. We live in an extremely diverse area and they spend equal time with both halves of the family.

We try to raise our children to judge people on their character, not their backgrounds. They have friends of all backgrounds and in my opinion, a lot of families today aren't judgemental as far as who their child should be around as regards to race or what have you.

When my husband and I were younger, stares from people used to bother us. We don't even look past that anymore. It's a matter of being comfortable with who you are and not worrying about what others think of you.

Thank you, that's all I'm saying. Albeit, the long winded way, but this is what it boils down to.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by redjuel

Leilani - your kids are beautiful! Thanks for sharing.

Yeah, the kids are cute. Only they might wanna strangle her should they find out their pics are here. Teens are finicky!

[Leilani Vasquez]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

Yeah, the kids are cute. Only they might wanna strangle her should they find out their pics are here. Teens are finicky!

he he he...they'll never know.

[Rathagos]

I'm white. I've dated two black women (almost married one), and did marry an Asian woman. We were married for 14 years. All other women I've dated, and my current wife, is white.

Like I've tried to tell my kids, I don't care what color of person you date, I care about how they treat you.

[miu]

LovelyinLA - The term "acting white" is one that is used by blacks to critcize successful blacks that don't act all ghetto and say words like "ask" like "ax" and all that ebonic crap. And yes, I am a Chinese American woman who happens to have dated only white men. But I do feel well adjusted in the sense that I am a very happy person who is content with who I am. And my mom never told be to act all Chinesy when I was growing up, race and culture was never mentioned in our household as a way to act. Good manners were important and being respectful to ones elders too. She just let us be the way we wanted to be. I always felt that I fit in with my fellow classmates well and never felt like an outsider. I was never bullied or picked upon. My childhood was happy and without angst. Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing about my life. Just because my family was originally from China, doesn't mean that I have to think about it all of the time or point it out to others. I am just me.

As to beautiful mixed children... there are beautiful, plain and ugly children of all races and mixes. And they are always more beautiful in the eyes of their family.

[Lucario]

Originally Posted by miu

LovelyinLA - The term "acting white" is one that is used by blacks to critcize successful blacks that don't act all ghetto and say words like "ask" like "ax" and all that ebonic crap. And yes, I am a Chinese American woman who happens to have dated only white men. But I do feel well adjusted in the sense that I am a very happy person who is content with who I am. And my mom never told be to act all Chinesy when I was growing up, race and culture was never mentioned in our household as a way to act. Good manners were important and being respectful to ones elders too. She just let us be the way we wanted to be. I always felt that I fit in with my fellow classmates well and never felt like an outsider. I was never bullied or picked upon. My childhood was happy and without angst. Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing about my life. Just because my family was originally from China, doesn't mean that I have to think about it all of the time or point it out to others. I am just me.

As to beautiful mixed children... there are beautiful, plain and ugly children of all races and mixes. And they are always more beautiful in the eyes of their family.

The term "acting white" is used by SOME blacks....After reading some of your posts, I am getting a strong impression that you have a limited knowledge of other cultures and that you regard many people, i.e. blacks, with contempt.

[miu]

Originally Posted by Sunil's Dad

The term "acting white" is used by SOME blacks....After reading some of your posts, I am getting a strong impression that you have a limited knowledge of other cultures and that you regard many people, i.e. blacks, with contempt.

From having lived in several diverse neighborhoods, working at several major hotels and a few ethnic restaurants, lived in Portugal for a year as a child, two visits to Paris, one to England, and dealt with antiques of international origins, I feel that I have a very extensive knowledge of many cultures and from different time periods.

I do acknowledge that I hold people with academic knowledge OR real artistic and musical talents with higher esteem than those with little education and skills.

[Lucario]

Originally Posted by miu

From having lived in several diverse neighborhoods, working at several major hotels and a few ethnic restaurants, lived in Portugal for a year as a child, two visits to Paris, one to England, and dealt with antiques of international origins, I feel that I have a very extensive knowledge of many cultures and from different time periods.

I do acknowledge that I hold people with academic knowledge OR real artistic and musical talents with higher esteem than those with little education and skills.

I do believe that. But I have seen some of the things you have written that seem astonishingly ignorant considering your education, and some other things you have said that allude to you having been raised with some prejudices; I think you haven't totally shed those.