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Old 09-08-2008, 07:33 AM
 
Location: On our boat!
5,679 posts, read 10,371,968 times
Reputation: 3190

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Are more couples choosing to "live together" today instead of getting married? What I mean is, are more couples choosing to "live together" for YEARS instead of getting married? I keep reading in each of the State/City Forums about "my boyfriend and I are thinking about moving to........" or "my girlfriend and I are thinking about moving to........
I did live with my wife before we got married, BUT it was ONLY for one year......not years and years!! Shoot, I don't even read about marriages in the local newspaper like I use to.
So, what is this all about? Wife and I love being married! We are 60 years old and been married for 7 years. So does this mean that the younger generation is THAT afraid of marriage?
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Old 09-08-2008, 09:30 AM
 
25,081 posts, read 26,865,379 times
Reputation: 34140
I don't get it either. If you're married, there is shared responsibility for finances, home maintenance, etc. etc. If you just live together, unless both your names are on the home loan, one can simply get up and walk out at any time, for the flimsiest of reasons.
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Old 09-08-2008, 10:19 AM
 
25,170 posts, read 34,023,469 times
Reputation: 6701
Neither are good to be honest. It is best to have your independence; however, I would choose living together vs. marriage.
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Old 09-08-2008, 10:23 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
11,247 posts, read 11,167,857 times
Reputation: 11315
Ive been married twice. Never again. My kids are grown, I have my own place and a good job. What would be the up side to getting married vs. living together.
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Old 09-08-2008, 10:26 AM
 
25,170 posts, read 34,023,469 times
Reputation: 6701
so true. I'm glad I've never been married. I hear it stinks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Ive been married twice. Never again. My kids are grown, I have my own place and a good job. What would be the up side to getting married vs. living together.
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Old 09-08-2008, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Lansing, MI
2,698 posts, read 3,447,672 times
Reputation: 2677
I don't think it is necessarily that young people are "afraid" of marriage as much as the lack of incentive to get married. You hear and see a lot of stories about divorce, how she took him to the cleaners, custody issues, etc. It is just *easier* to not be married.

I also think a lot of younger people want to "try out" the relationship before such a serious commitment. And, a lot of young people feel the way my husband and I both felt... we were committed with a serious relationship and marriage was "just a piece of paper." Since being married we have both changed our opinions, but you couldn't tell us any different before we got married.
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Old 09-08-2008, 10:34 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
1,559 posts, read 446,311 times
Reputation: 348
I have been married nearly 20yrs now with 3 children. We did stay together on weekends, but never lived together full time with each other. I am sorry to those how think marriage sucks...to me I love it, and Thank God at my age that I am not doing the single thing. That sucks! I have too many friends doing that, and grateful I am where I am.
Way too many people get married, and you know it is not going to work, and most people just give up too easily when it gets hard. I guess everyone is different.
Artsyguy....I am sorry that you never found that special person. Perhaps one day you will feel differently when you find that partner!
No one should grow old alone, thats so sad.
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Old 09-08-2008, 10:34 AM
 
25,170 posts, read 34,023,469 times
Reputation: 6701
actually young people will not even commit to a serious relationship these days....it is all one night stands and FWB. Pretty pitiful.

Quote:
Originally Posted by chance2jump View Post
I don't think it is necessarily that young people are "afraid" of marriage as much as the lack of incentive to get married. You hear and see a lot of stories about divorce, how she took him to the cleaners, custody issues, etc. It is just *easier* to not be married.

I also think a lot of younger people want to "try out" the relationship before such a serious commitment. And, a lot of young people feel the way my husband and I both felt... we were committed with a serious relationship and marriage was "just a piece of paper." Since being married we have both changed our opinions, but you couldn't tell us any different before we got married.
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Old 09-08-2008, 10:36 AM
 
25,170 posts, read 34,023,469 times
Reputation: 6701
Uh, there are plenty of people that have divorced and grew old alone.

I'm gay, so I don't expect much. Gays are about only 2% of the population. The majority of the openly gay people I've met have very poor relationship and social skills, they just want sex and to do as they please, they usually come from dysfunctional backgrounds. I guess they don't and can't understand my point of view that relationships are better.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Georgie713 View Post
Artsyguy....I am sorry that you never found that special person. Perhaps one day you will feel differently when you find that partner!
No one should grow old alone, thats so sad.
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Old 09-08-2008, 10:46 AM
 
Location: Midwest
1,167 posts, read 1,004,036 times
Reputation: 1488
My husband and I started living together about a year after we started dating. We got married about a year and a half after that. I would have to say that I hold being married over living together. There is just so much more peace of mind. Also, it is nice to be a part of a family of our own. We also have children though.
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