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Normally I'm not like this, but the past week or so I've been feeling really down and really lonely. My hubby has been working late a lot lately, my weekend sucked because we got all the Hurricane Hanna rain and so we stayed in Friday and Saturday and then Sunday he worked all day and I just felt so incredibly lonely. Sunday I went out and went sightseeing by myself but it wasn't fun--I just kept looking at everyone who was out there talking and laughing with a friend and felt incredibly alone.
We've been here a little over two years now (moved here not knowing anyone, no friends or family in the area), and neither of us has made any friends. Usually it doesn't bother me, but lately it really has. I really like the people I work with, and have invited people out now and again for lunch, but the invitation is never reciprocated. Just the other day one of my co-workers as another of my co-workers to lunch while I was sitting right next to her, and neither of them invited me (which is something I would have done, since I am a considerate person, too bad most people aren't.) The little slights have just been adding up lately and bothering me. Last weekend there was the next door neighbor's party that went on right outside our window, everyone at the party was neighbors from our rowhouse area, we weren't invited. A few weeks before I Facebook friended an old high school friend (we were best friends in high school) and she ignored it.
I'm thinking about de-activating my Facebook account because it's just too depressing--no one ever Facebook friends me or writes me--I don't understand why people never think about me like I think about them.
I have contacted numerous friends from high school and college who I've lost touch with, as well as cousins who I'd like to be closer with--no one ever thinks of me and contacts me. I had such great friends in high school, college and grad school--I don't understand why it's so hard to make friends in the real world after you're finished with school. I've lost touch with most of them and most of them aren't interested in getting back into contact--i.e. they ignore my Facebook friend requests which hurts. My phone never rings--no one ever calls me. In general, my attempts at keeping in touch/getting back in touch aren't reciprocated. I feel lonely, isolated and have no social network here whatsoever.
We're planning to leave DC this summer and move--we haven't decided where yet--but I doubt the social situation will improve.
I keep wondering if it's me or not. I think I'm a nice, normal person. I used to have lots of friends and I don't think my personality has changed. I've moved to four different states in the last nine years so that's part of it--it's hard to make friends when you move around so much. I have a wonderful, solid marriage and my hubby is very loving but he works a lot and I don't have anyone else to socially interact with. I don't like my job but am applying to grad school for next year and am excited about my new career path. I am considerate, friendly, and outgoing. I think I'm an interesting person that someone would like to have as a friend.
Anyhow, lately these feelings of lonliness have become overwhelming. When we first moved here I joined all sorts of social groups--meetup.com groups, religious groups, etc. but didn't make any friends through them, and it was so much work and so disappointing after awhile that I stopped going to all of them. I joined my local alumni club too. Now I don't know what else to do to try and feel more socially connected. It's just been a really bad week. My kitten is sick, too, and that's stressing me out, and I have a very stressful doctor's appt. coming up for me.
I am willing to be your friend.
My wife felt the same way when we first moved to VA. She was really depressed until she found a job and got out of the house. Maybe what you need is an activity or activities to get you going.
I have seen comments like yours all over the Internet.
There should be personals for women and men who just want friendship of the same sex. My wife feels the same as you. She has the hardest time making friends.
She goes to social events but is shocked how poor the social skills are of the people she meets. It seems like most people leave alone and not to satisfied with the event.
I have no advice other than keep looking because making friends after age 25, that you click with, can be one of the most difficult things you ever due.
I understand how you feel and we all need someone to listen and understand sometimes. I have felt like you feel through the years. It was just recently within the last few months that I decided to let go of a lot of things because I realized I was only causing myself emotional distress. The feelings of loneliness are very real, but if you let them consume you it will only make things worse.
We cannot control people nor circumstances. There is nothing wrong with you. You have told us who you are, friendly, good person etc. You know who you are. Regardless of whether anyone else likes you or appreciates you it doesn't change who you are. You will meet people that you are compatible with who have the same friendship needs, and when you do it will all fall right into place. I'm speaking from personal experience. Within the last few months I went from feeling rejected by people who I tried to develop friendships with, to becoming friends with a person who knows what real friendship is, and she is amazing. The best thing is, she initiated the friendship with me. Some things are meant to be. I believe in God and I prayed about it. He didn't give me what I wanted at the time I wanted it. He gave me something better. When I let go and trusted him he gave me exactly what I wanted. Focus on who you are and wait for those people who are truly meant to be in your life. As for everyone else, let them go.
I have seen comments like yours all over the Internet.
There should be personals for women and men who just want friendship of the same sex. My wife feels the same as you. She has the hardest time making friends.
I have both posted and responded to ads on Craig's List in the "platonic" section for women looking to make female friends. I've met a bunch of women in person and everyone was really nice, but after an outing or two they just fall off the face of the earth. I actually did make one friend off there when we first moved here but she got too "crazy busy" and I haven't heard from her in months.
The only other thing I can think of is that most women here in DC around my age (early 30's) are not married, and I wonder if that's why they're not interested in being friends with me. Maybe they think that married gals don't have any time for new friends, or maybe they are bitter in their singleness or something, but part of me feels like that is part of the issue here. I have probably met maybe 3 women my age here in DC in the past two years who are married. Everyone else is single. When I would go to these social groups that I joined when we first moved here I was always the only married gal. So that's one possible theory.
I don't know why being married would have any affect on friends, my wife and I are friends with single people. One friend of hers calls and we meet to do different things, one of her boyfriends is on a Volleyball team we joined. We meet some for dinner and drinks, others are into Karate, Baseball, Motorcycles.
What activities do you enjoy?
I don't know why being married would have any affect on friends, my wife and I are friends with single people. One friend of hers calls and we meet to do different things, one of her boyfriends is on a Volleyball team we joined. We meet some for dinner and drinks, others are into Karate, Baseball, Motorcycles.
What activities do you enjoy?
But maybe single women don't like to be friends with married women, even if it's not the case the other way around.
I don't know why. We have friends from their 20's to over 60. Some of the younger single women that my wife is friends with really think a lot of her. I will say I am not always by her side when plans are made so they do things and we do depending on whats going on. Do you get enough alone time to make friends on your own?
Normally I'm not like this, but the past week or so I've been feeling really down and really lonely. My hubby has been working late a lot lately, my weekend sucked because we got all the Hurricane Hanna rain and so we stayed in Friday and Saturday and then Sunday he worked all day and I just felt so incredibly lonely. Sunday I went out and went sightseeing by myself but it wasn't fun--I just kept looking at everyone who was out there talking and laughing with a friend and felt incredibly alone.
We've been here a little over two years now (moved here not knowing anyone, no friends or family in the area), and neither of us has made any friends. Usually it doesn't bother me, but lately it really has. I really like the people I work with, and have invited people out now and again for lunch, but the invitation is never reciprocated. Just the other day one of my co-workers as another of my co-workers to lunch while I was sitting right next to her, and neither of them invited me (which is something I would have done, since I am a considerate person, too bad most people aren't.) The little slights have just been adding up lately and bothering me. Last weekend there was the next door neighbor's party that went on right outside our window, everyone at the party was neighbors from our rowhouse area, we weren't invited. A few weeks before I Facebook friended an old high school friend (we were best friends in high school) and she ignored it.
I'm thinking about de-activating my Facebook account because it's just too depressing--no one ever Facebook friends me or writes me--I don't understand why people never think about me like I think about them.
I have contacted numerous friends from high school and college who I've lost touch with, as well as cousins who I'd like to be closer with--no one ever thinks of me and contacts me. I had such great friends in high school, college and grad school--I don't understand why it's so hard to make friends in the real world after you're finished with school. I've lost touch with most of them and most of them aren't interested in getting back into contact--i.e. they ignore my Facebook friend requests which hurts. My phone never rings--no one ever calls me. In general, my attempts at keeping in touch/getting back in touch aren't reciprocated. I feel lonely, isolated and have no social network here whatsoever.
We're planning to leave DC this summer and move--we haven't decided where yet--but I doubt the social situation will improve.
I keep wondering if it's me or not. I think I'm a nice, normal person. I used to have lots of friends and I don't think my personality has changed. I've moved to four different states in the last nine years so that's part of it--it's hard to make friends when you move around so much. I have a wonderful, solid marriage and my hubby is very loving but he works a lot and I don't have anyone else to socially interact with. I don't like my job but am applying to grad school for next year and am excited about my new career path. I am considerate, friendly, and outgoing. I think I'm an interesting person that someone would like to have as a friend.
Anyhow, lately these feelings of lonliness have become overwhelming. When we first moved here I joined all sorts of social groups--meetup.com groups, religious groups, etc. but didn't make any friends through them, and it was so much work and so disappointing after awhile that I stopped going to all of them. I joined my local alumni club too. Now I don't know what else to do to try and feel more socially connected. It's just been a really bad week. My kitten is sick, too, and that's stressing me out, and I have a very stressful doctor's appt. coming up for me.
I really am sympathetic. I promise you. It's not a good feeling you're having.
Somehow or another, you find it difficult to make connections with others. Part of it's their problem and part of it is probably how you approach others. I think it's a good time to be objective about yourself and try a different tack. Good luck.
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