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...and if the guy you made "the roll in the hay " with falls in love with you?
do you make fun of him and chase him, tell him he was just your "toyboy"?
that happened to me, and I was devastated then.
...and if the guy you made "the roll in the hay " with falls in love with you?
do you make fun of him and chase him, tell him he was just your "toyboy"?
that happened to me, and I was devastated then.
See ... that exact scenario is why I stopped dating in general.
I didn't stop dating because I don't like men. I do like men. I have close male friends and I feel like I get a lot of support from them. It is within those bonds of friendship that I have noticed that many men are more open about their emotional needs nowadays, and it is clear to me that even though men have braggadaccio and tend to puff themselves up needlessly ... at the end of the day, most guys want a solid hug and a woman to come home to. They want girlfriends. They want love.
I'm at a point in my life where I cannot be anyone's girlfriend, and I know that. It was kind of frustrating to notice that men kept "falling in love" when I wanted just a FWB. As such, I have abandoned the notion of a "boy toy" in favor of celibacy until ... well, I guess, until I'm ready.
Sometimes, a woman being celibate is not an indictment of men. Sometimes, it is in a man's best interest to not be treated like a mindless, heartless sex toy. I believe that women and men like each other, even if we don't always understand each other.
I think women get a lot of emotional support and even non-sexual affection from each other, whereas men tend not to provide those necessities to their buddies. And, I've known a lot of women who say they enjoy sex without a partner more than they do with one (though I wouldn't count myself in that group). So, you may be onto something.
I'd say that's mostly true, but the vast majority of the completely hetero women I've known still didn't feel like they could go the rest of their lives without men, or just would rather not have to if they can help it. If you're only attracted to men that way, it seems like they fulfill something in you that you and your female friends just can't. I'm not speaking for everyone; just have the people I've known in mind. They don't need a man to be complete but they would be happier with a man.
I'm at a point in my life where I cannot be anyone's girlfriend, and I know that.
Do you mind if I ask how old you are? I'm at this point where being someone's significant other (or something leading up to it) is all I'd consider. I'm 25. Or maybe it doesn't have much to do with age. Whatever the case, if you don't want to elaborate, I understand.
Do you mind if I ask how old you are? I'm at this point where being someone's significant other (or something leading up to it) is all I'd consider. I'm 25. Or maybe it doesn't have much to do with age. Whatever the case, if you don't want to elaborate, I understand.
I'm in my early 30's ... no kids and no commitments in my life beyond school and work. That is the other part of the reason why I stopped dating: between school, work, and my social life, I don't have time! I won't have time for a few years.
My brother pointed out that men tend to take advantage and take for granted their partners in relationships. I don't know many marriages/relationships in which the women isn't left the brunt of the work. Having a husband increases a woman's weekly household chore time and decreases a man's. It more greatly affects a man's life expectancy to have a wife. Women routinely confess to raising their sons differently than their daughters, and these sons often grow up looking for another woman to take care of them. There are always exceptions, but they are so rare.
I now know many smart, sane, reasonable heterosexual women who have stated they'll never get married again b/c the aggravation outweighs the benefits. It shocked and saddened me a little bit, but having lived with men, I can understand.
My brother pointed out that men tend to take advantage and take for granted their partners in relationships. I don't know many marriages/relationships in which the women isn't left the brunt of the work. Having a husband increases a woman's weekly household chore time and decreases a man's. It more greatly affects a man's life expectancy to have a wife. Women routinely confess to raising their sons differently than their daughters, and these sons often grow up looking for another woman to take care of them. There are always exceptions, but they are so rare.
I now know many smart, sane, reasonable heterosexual women who have stated they'll never get married again b/c the aggravation outweighs the benefits. It shocked and saddened me a little bit, but having lived with men, I can understand.
I don't know if guys go into relationships meaning to take advantage of the situation, but I do agree with nearly everything else that you said. Men and women are raised differently, and those inherent differences have consequences later on.
My roommate is male, and I agree that some men will let a woman do ALL the housework if they can help it! That is why I try to never be home and duck the chores as much as possible. If he wants a maid, he needs to pony up for one!
People have a lot of reasons they believe the "family unit" and "traditional family" fell apart. They want to blame gays or tv or whatever.
But I have to believe that one big reason is that women realized that they didn't have to stay in unfulfilling relationships if they didn't want to. And that it's not their role in life to submit and put up with a bunch of crap. And that doesn't make them feminists or lesbians. It makes them people who want to be happier.
At the same time, maybe more women on their own and raising families on their own may help them realize the pressure that men faced...of being responsible for being the provider.
I'm just hoping all of this leads to men behaving differently and treating women as actual equals (and not put them on a pedestal or treat them like Mom #2) and women will appreciate the pressures of a traditionally male role...and that the understanding and new behavior will lead them back to each other again.
Though I'm not holding my breath.
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