U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-16-2008, 07:00 PM
 
1,072 posts, read 2,567,048 times
Reputation: 509

Advertisements

This has been inspired by MIU.

How many of you are in an unmarried relationship (but serious), in which, whenever you have to visit out-of-state relatives, you are required to sleep separately from your significant other?

What do you think/ how do you feel if this rule was imposed to you? Would you just not go, or suck it up and "go with the waves"?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-16-2008, 07:02 PM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 20,058,980 times
Reputation: 5490
Yeah man, just like in Meet The Parents dude! Keep the snake in the cage!
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-16-2008, 07:15 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 24,281,831 times
Reputation: 24069
I guess since your under someone elses roof, and thats their rule, you had better go with it.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-16-2008, 07:24 PM
 
Location: Oxford, OH
1,461 posts, read 3,464,219 times
Reputation: 832
As our children got older it was very hard. We had five. They would come back for reunions with "dates" and expect to stay together. But I still had teenagers in the house and that is not the standard I wanted to set for them. When you are out of the house and paying your way you have more choices.
One of my older sons came once with a date for his tenth reunion and we had quite a heated discussion. I finally caved in and let them stay downstairs together. Funny thing was when he brought "the girl" home a few years later I suggested they could stay downstairs and was informed by him that he would be staying down and she would be upstairs...oh love it when they grow up!
I think you have to respect who you are staying with and what makes them comfortable and what honors their beliefs and standards.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-16-2008, 07:34 PM
 
1,072 posts, read 2,567,048 times
Reputation: 509
Quote:
Originally Posted by driftwoodpoint View Post
As our children got older it was very hard. We had five. They would come back for reunions with "dates" and expect to stay together. But I still had teenagers in the house and that is not the standard I wanted to set for them. When you are out of the house and paying your way you have more choices.
One of my older sons came once with a date for his tenth reunion and we had quite a heated discussion. I finally caved in and let them stay downstairs together. Funny thing was when he brought "the girl" home a few years later I suggested they could stay downstairs and was informed by him that he would be staying down and she would be upstairs...oh love it when they grow up!
I think you have to respect who you are staying with and what makes them comfortable and what honors their beliefs and standards.
I completely understand if there are other younger children still living in the house, and that you would want them to set a good example for the young ones. But what if ALL your children are grown and out of the house? Would you still insist on them sleeping separately when they visit you, even if they're already.. .say... in the 40's?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-16-2008, 07:55 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,639 posts, read 37,722,891 times
Reputation: 17526
I don't have a problem with respecting my boyfriend's mother's wishes. And I would do the same for my parents. It's something about being under their roof. At my boyfriend's older sister's wedding, his mom got us a hotel room near the wedding venue for the night of the wedding. And my boyfriend's dad (divorced from the mom) let's us stay in one room when we were at his house. And if we visited any aunts and uncles or siblings, they certainly don't care. Maybe for some parents, they don't like to think of their children as sexual human beings without the sanctity of marriage. And if sleeping togethert was that important to us, we'd get a hotel room. Also after five years of living together, not having sex for a few nights isn't going to kill us.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-16-2008, 07:57 PM
 
Location: Somewhere out there...
3,663 posts, read 8,221,443 times
Reputation: 3729
I would stay in a hotel. If I am already living with the person I am not going to live a "false" life to please someone else.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-16-2008, 07:58 PM
 
25,161 posts, read 51,341,986 times
Reputation: 7023
I prefer to sleep naked in the den when visiting others. Just kidding.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-16-2008, 09:23 PM
 
Location: Catonsville, MD
2,358 posts, read 5,777,287 times
Reputation: 1707
When I brought boyfriends home, the rule was we sleep in separate rooms. I had no problem with that. I specifically asked if my brothers did the same thing when their girlfriends came home with them. I was assured there was no double standard in our family. After my dad's funeral (which, despite its very sad reason for happening, was more like an Irish wake,) one of my brothers told me that my dad had said after he died, they could tell me that there WAS a double standard. THEY got to share a room with their girlfriends (except if I happened to be home as well. If I was home, to keep me in the dark, they had to sleep separately.) For about 5 minutes, I was mad, but then I thought how silly it all was. It was only a few nights and so my dad felt like he had to protect me a little more. Now that I have daughters myself, I think I understand that.

Since hubby and I got married quite late in life (we were early 40s,) his parents and my mom had no problem with us sharing a room when we were visiting, however, if they had a problem with it, I would have no problem following their wishes, even if there was a double standard.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-16-2008, 09:28 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,835 posts, read 84,105,053 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by asitshouldbe View Post
I would stay in a hotel. If I am already living with the person I am not going to live a "false" life to please someone else.
Yeah, that's what I'd do, too.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:10 AM.

© 2005-2022, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top