Strip clubs (date, guys, cheated, husband)

[Softtail_Honey]

Originally Posted by LadyRobyn

Mod note: This topic could easily get too graphic, so keep it in bounds OK?

Personal note...

I don't think you are a "whacked out wife" at all! If the mere idea of him going makes you uncomfortable it will only be worse after he does. Some people are fine with such things and some are NOT.

My Hubby knows that I would never get over it if he chose to go to a strip club, so he chooses not to.

Talk to him... and be blunt.

Well, thank you!

I have been blunt with him on this. I am VERY flexible on issues but NOT this one. I was willing to give him a once a month night to go there(with reservations) but he doesn't seem satisfied with that. I've only known about this for about a month or so but it's been going on for 2 years I still can't figure THAT out..........how he did it! I had not a clue. I trusted him, I had good reason to trust him, but some of that is gone now. Especially after he lied about where he was tonight. He is just gonna HAVE to not go. My thing is, is that, if it's for friends, then why can't he frequent a regular corner bar or something of the sort, instead of a strip bar????????????Because he's not going to get the kind of attention at those bars like he does at this strip bar. SIGH!

[asitshouldbe]

My husband would NEVER go, he knows that I would not like him to. He went to the strip club for my son in laws bachelor party and he was afraid to get to close to the girls. My son and son in law came back laughing because they said my husband hardly looked and when they tried to get a stipper to give him a lap dance he walked out of the club. When he came back in he told them if they did it again they were walking home. Of course they teased him saying he was P**** whipped and that he was afraid I would kick his A$$. He was right, I would have.

[mrstewart]

My husband knows he would be a marked man if he went to a strip club and probably a dead man if he "frequented" one...no way!

[foma]

Originally Posted by Softtail_Honey

Men and women welcome to reply.

A couple of questions.
Is it okay for a married man/woman(a "satisfied"/secure man/woman) to frequent a strip club(g-string only with a cover on their nipples/thongs for the males)? If so, how often is it okay? How would YOU feel if YOUR SO went regularly? How would you feel if your SO was doing this for some time before you found out but you found out from him/her? Is it okay to give one of the guys/girls your phone number? What if they(the dancer and their SO and you and the SO that is frequenting the place) meet up outside of the strip club? How would that work? TIA for your replies.

IMO, it's only wrong when your spouse doesn't want you to do it, has expressly told you she doesn't like you going, but you do it anyway.

Personally, I would not allow my husband to go to a strip club on a regular basis. He's never expressed this interest so I guess I am lucky. He has gone a couple of times for bachelor parties but lets me know in advance. My rule is essentially, "You can look but you can't touch." I can only trust that he's respected my wishes.

If you are in a relationship, married or dating exclusively, then no, the whole number thing is wrong. That's what exclusivity means. You're stuck in a marriage but you keep faithful (if that is the agreement in the marriage) and if you are dating, same rules apply if it is a serious relationship. No "ifs, ands, or buts", IMO.

[Softtail_Honey]

It seems as though many replies are posted by women. Where are all the men? Too afraid to get chewed up and spit out? ha ha

[Huckleberry3911948]

Originally Posted by Softtail_Honey

It seems as though many replies are posted by women. Where are all the men? Too afraid to get chewed up and spit out? ha ha

i posted i posted. i been good.

[azoria]

Originally Posted by Softtail_Honey

.....I trusted him, I had good reason to trust him, but some of that is gone now. Especially after he lied about where he was tonight.

Lies, betrayed trust.

Two years of lies.

You don't need us to tell you that strip clubs and strippers have not enhanced nor enriched your marriage.

You needed to ask if all this was ok?! You already know this is not ok. He has concealed his whereabouts, he has misled you, he has broken the partnership trust. It's about betrayal not sex.

Don't give him a month, he's already had two years. He stops with the strippers now to save the marriage. If he can't do that right now TODAY, what kind of marriage are you saving?

[Travelling fella]

Originally Posted by Softtail_Honey

It seems as though many replies are posted by women. Where are all the men? Too afraid to get chewed up and spit out? ha ha

My girlfriend and I were talking about this after reading your post, and we both agree that frequenting that kind of places is something we wouldn't do because it'd affect our relationship, which is the most valuable thing we have on earth

[Softtail_Honey]

Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948

i posted i posted. i been good.

Okay, I see ya did. But you didn't answer the questions. ha ha How would YOU feel if your wife went, lets say, once a month, even though it could be more than that, but you just aren't aware?

[miu]

My boyfriend is not a fan of strip clubs. And none of my exes have been either, except my first boyfriend. That first boyfriend never went to a strip club in the three years that we were together, but he was open about his pile of girlie magazines and told me that he used to go to that Show World place in Times Square when he was in the area. But I felt comfortable that he wasn't a sex addict.

Anyway, the only reason I could really accept a SO's visit to a strip club would be if it were for a bachelor party or for some special boy's night out. But I would not be happy if it were a regular weekly visit and on his own. But I wouldn't date a guy that needed or liked that sort of entertainment.

Do you live in a rural area where there isn't much other night life around?