Strip clubs

[Softtail_Honey]

Originally Posted by azoria

Lies, betrayed trust.

Two years of lies.

You don't need us to tell you that strip clubs and strippers have not enhanced nor enriched your marriage.

You needed to ask if all this was ok?! You already know this is not ok. He has concealed his whereabouts, he has misled you, he has broken the partnership trust. It's about betrayal not sex.

Don't give him a month, he's already had two years. He stops with the strippers now to save the marriage. If he can't do that right now TODAY, what kind of marriage are you saving?

Wow, you are right. Your post just hit me like a ton of bricks. It makes me very sad to have all that trust in him and he did that to me. We've been together now 21 years and we dated in highschool. He always held me high on a pedestal. SIGH!

[Softtail_Honey]

Originally Posted by miu

My boyfriend is not a fan of strip clubs. And none of my exes have been either, except my first boyfriend. That first boyfriend never went to a strip club in the three years that we were together, but he was open about his pile of girlie magazines and told me that he used to go to that Show World place in Times Square when he was in the area. But I felt comfortable that he wasn't a sex addict.

Anyway, the only reason I could really accept a SO's visit to a strip club would be if it were for a bachelor party or for some special boy's night out. But I would not be happy if it were a regular weekly visit and on his own. But I wouldn't date a guy that needed or liked that sort of entertainment.

Do you live in a rural area where there isn't much other night life around?

We have plenty to do and see here. We are just outside Milwaukee. I am so glad to know that there are others that feel the same way I do. Now I just have to put a stop to it.

[asitshouldbe]

I went to see male strippers for my daughters bachelorette party and enjoyed myself but my hubby did not like it. He kept asking questions about the guys and if I enjoyed myself. I went to the same club a few weeks later with a coworker who was much wilder then I thought, she was all over the guys and doing shots between their legs. She grabbed my hand and smooshed it into a strippers lower region. Then the strippers started to hug me and her really tight and got their cologne smell all over me. That was the last time I went to see strippers, I felt so bad about what happened and I was freaking out about the smell on my cloths. I waited to go home till my husband was asleep and went straight to the laundry room and put my clothes in the washer. I was so paranoid that my coworker would tell my husband about that night that I never seen her outside of work again.

[Huckleberry3911948]

Originally Posted by Softtail_Honey

Okay, I see ya did. But you didn't answer the questions. ha ha How would YOU feel if your wife went, lets say, once a month, even though it could be more than that, but you just aren't aware?

how would i feel. not good.
i have been cheated on.
yes i would perceive it as a threat.
which makes sense.
i mean if it smells tastes moves and spreads like peanut butter
it probably is peanut butter.

[Softtail_Honey]

Originally Posted by asitshouldbe

I went to see male strippers for my daughters bachelorette party and enjoyed myself but my hubby did not like it. He kept asking questions about the guys and if I enjoyed myself. I went to the same club a few weeks later with a coworker who was much wilder then I thought, she was all over the guys and doing shots between their legs. She grabbed my hand and smooshed it into a strippers lower region. Then the strippers started to hug me and her really tight and got their cologne smell all over me. That was the last time I went to see strippers, I felt so bad about what happened and I was freaking out about the smell on my cloths. I waited to go home till my husband was asleep and went straight to the laundry room and put my clothes in the washer. I was so paranoid that my coworker would tell my husband about that night that I never seen her outside of work again.

Yep, that would be me. When I went to a strip club awhile back they would come over to me and I would turn my head. ha ha

[miu]

Originally Posted by Softtail_Honey

We have plenty to do and see here. We are just outside Milwaukee. I am so glad to know that there are others that feel the same way I do. Now I just have to put a stop to it.

What about taking belly dancing or pole dancing lessons? Spice up your marriage with some new moves and a new look. Do it with a sense of humour. And it's also good exercise for you. Then... he won't need his nasty strip clubs!

The key is for you to not come across as being controlling or uptight. Part of his going to a strip club might be him going through a mid-life crisis. How old are the two of you?

[Softtail_Honey]

Originally Posted by miu

What about taking belly dancing or pole dancing lessons? Spice up your marriage with some new moves and a new look. Do it with a sense of humour. And it's also good exercise for you. Then... he won't need his nasty strip clubs!

The key is for you to not come across as being controlling or uptight. Part of his going to a strip club might be him going through a mid-life crisis. How old are the two of you?

Haha! I've heard that before............get your own pole. lol He is 42. A bit early for mid life crisis? I am 40.

[Softtail_Honey]

Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948

how would i feel. not good.
i have been cheated on.
yes i would perceive it as a threat.
which makes sense.
i mean if it smells tastes moves and spreads like peanut butter
it probably is peanut butter.

Sorry you were cheated on!

Peanut butter? lol Haven't heard that one before but it works.. I usually use snake.

[SanAntoQT]

Originally Posted by foma

Personally, I would not allow my husband to go to a strip club on a regular basis. He's never expressed this interest so I guess I am lucky. He has gone a couple of times for bachelor parties but lets me know in advance. My rule is essentially, "You can look but you can't touch." I can only trust that he's respected my wishes.

If you are in a relationship, married or dating exclusively, then no, the whole number thing is wrong. That's what exclusivity means. You're stuck in a marriage but you keep faithful (if that is the agreement in the marriage) and if you are dating, same rules apply if it is a serious relationship. No "ifs, ands, or buts", IMO.

I'm having a hard time with this "allow" business. Your husband is a grown man, so why do you feel that you have any right to allow him to do or not do something? What happens if he disobeys your rule? Does he get a time-out? Do you ground him?

My SO is free to do exactly as he pleases, as am I. I have no problem with him going to strip clubs. Sometimes I'll go with him. No big deal, IMO.