Strip clubs (wife, movies, married, women)

[Softtail_Honey]

Men and women welcome to reply.

A couple of questions.
Is it okay for a married man/woman(a "satisfied"/secure man/woman) to frequent a strip club(g-string only with a cover on their nipples/thongs for the males)? If so, how often is it okay? How would YOU feel if YOUR SO went regularly? How would you feel if your SO was doing this for some time before you found out but you found out from him/her? Is it okay to give one of the guys/girls your phone number? What if they(the dancer and their SO and you and the SO that is frequenting the place) meet up outside of the strip club? How would that work? TIA for your replies.

[azoria]

Why do you ask?

If you think it's ok, then it's ok with you. If that were my SO, and I knew all that was going on, I'd send that guy packing. I don't need men who spend their time and money in strip clubs.

I don't have an SO, I have a husband. All the things you listed would not be ok with me, oh no, not by any stretch. I wouldn't stand for it.

Color me not a big fan of the sex industry.

[Softtail_Honey]

Originally Posted by azoria

Why do you ask?

If you think it's ok, then it's ok with you. If that were my SO, and I knew all that was going on, I'd send that guy packing. I don't need men who spend their time and money in strip clubs.

I don't have an SO, I have a husband. All the things you listed would not be ok with me, oh no, not by any stretch. I wouldn't stand for it.

Color me not a big fan of the sex industry.

I guess maybe I just need to have my feelings confirmed.............that I am not some whacked out wife being unreasonable about this.
I should add that I have always been a "fair" person. But I'm not now, about THIS and perhaps that bugs me a little.



The reason I asked is that my husband is going and of course I am not liking it.

[Huckleberry3911948]

what do you mean if your SO? where have you been. middle management women have been going to male strip clubs for years. have you ever heard what happens in vegas stays in vegas? do you think that applies just to guys? but your point is well taken, evil is genderless. the other evil is strip clubs are probably (next to casinos) one of the most effective asset download programs known to man.

[azoria]

Let's not waffle with political correctness, and how partners need their own space, and how women go to strip clubs too (like once every 5 or 10 years), and how liberated it all is now that we're all equal.

That's twaddle. Marriages are a partnership built on confidence, trust, commitment, fidelity, love, and common values. Strippers and strip clubs do not fit into that picture. The sex industry does not belong and is not welcome in my marriage.

Period.

[chance2jump]

Originally Posted by Softtail_Honey

Men and women welcome to reply.

A couple of questions.
Is it okay for a married man/woman(a "satisfied"/secure man/woman) to frequent a strip club(g-string only with a cover on their nipples/thongs for the males)? If so, how often is it okay? How would YOU feel if YOUR SO went regularly? How would you feel if your SO was doing this for some time before you found out but you found out from him/her? Is it okay to give one of the guys/girls your phone number? What if they(the dancer and their SO and you and the SO that is frequenting the place) meet up outside of the strip club? How would that work? TIA for your replies.

Frequently a strip club "often"... Yes, that is a problem.

"honey, WHY are YOU spend XX dollars of OUR money on this and not on our retirement?!?!?!?"

Obviously, if this is a habitual problem with the SO to the point of "getting to know the dancer" outside of the club... There is more going on than just a 'guys night out.' Because frequenting the club is sexual in nature, this starts to side on emotional affair. While the SO has not formally cheated, to the best of the description given, a lot of time, money and energy is being spent to know a person that is fulfilling a sexual fantasy of some sort. Just as watching adult movies can become an addiction, so can this behavior. Not healthy for the relationship.

[Softtail_Honey]

He says that he has "friends" there.............yeahhhhhhhh...........female friends, friends that want money..........oh yeah and the "guy" bouncers too.


Tonight he went for a ride on the bike and I couldn't help but think he was going there. Well, he told me that he was at "billy's house"(yes, he has a friend named billy). When I went to give him a kiss, he resisted and smelled like "a bar".........not "billy's house". He NEVER goes to billy's. He couldn't look at me either. I just said "you went there, didn't you"? I don't mind a guys night out at all but he goes to this place by himself............because of friends. So, he tried to lie to me about it. I have not asked him to stop going there. He tries to get me to think that's its not about " the girls". And by no means am I worried about those "hot" chicks there because I have it going on too! Ugh!

And yeah, we talked about the money part of it tonight. He only had 2 beers! And how much was spent on tips? Those places are EXPENSIVE.

[LadyRobyn]

Mod note: This topic could easily get too graphic, so keep it in bounds OK?

Personal note...

I don't think you are a "whacked out wife" at all! If the mere idea of him going makes you uncomfortable it will only be worse after he does. Some people are fine with such things and some are NOT.

My Hubby knows that I would never get over it if he chose to go to a strip club, so he chooses not to.

Talk to him... and be blunt.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by Softtail_Honey

How would YOU feel if YOUR SO went regularly?

No SO of mine would.

[Chowhound]

Originally Posted by Softtail_Honey

Men and women welcome to reply.

A couple of questions.
Is it okay for a married man/woman(a "satisfied"/secure man/woman) to frequent a strip club(g-string only with a cover on their nipples/thongs for the males)? If so, how often is it okay? How would YOU feel if YOUR SO went regularly? How would you feel if your SO was doing this for some time before you found out but you found out from him/her? Is it okay to give one of the guys/girls your phone number? What if they(the dancer and their SO and you and the SO that is frequenting the place) meet up outside of the strip club? How would that work? TIA for your replies.

I don't want to come off as rude but do you really need to ask this question. I never hardly went to those places when I single. I couldn't imagine doing that now that I've been with same person for a long time.

I don't consider myself a prude BTW.