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Old 09-18-2008, 04:50 AM
 
Location: NYC
9 posts, read 15,681 times
Reputation: 11

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I am a 33 year old gay man. I have met this NY guy (through the internet) four months ago and I'm so into him. I live in California and I have invited him over here. We are both looking forwards to see each other in real life. I have never fallen in love with someone through the internet before and I am a bit nervous. When he comes here, what should I do? How should I treat him? I just want to kiss this guy when I look at the pictures. The best would be to take it slow. How should I greet him when he arrives at the airport? hug? just wish him welcome? We should go out and dine. Should we do that every day?
What should I do if he is not interested (he seems to be now)? What if it all ends in quarrels? Any romantic tips?
I'm so nervous it will all go wrong.

And..... I want dating tips. Not homophobic comments.
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Old 09-18-2008, 05:35 AM
 
Location: a primitive state
9,043 posts, read 18,210,862 times
Reputation: 9992
Why not give him a big hug when you see him? If you've been communicating for 4 months, then you are friends, after all. Just be prepared that some things about him may be different, and he'll feel the same.

Don't over analyze your new relationship. Let things happen, fast or slow, as naturally as they can. Try to stay objective, talk, be yourself, and don't worry.

As far as what you should do, definitely go out from time to time and show him around. But cooking together is such a great way to get to know someone. Do a little of both.

And if you're in doubt, just ask him.

Have fun.
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Old 09-18-2008, 06:12 AM
 
Location: Incognito
7,002 posts, read 17,442,146 times
Reputation: 5403
You'll never know until you take the initiative and go ahead. Just take your time, show him you're interested and give him his space.
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Old 09-18-2008, 07:03 AM
 
4,899 posts, read 15,642,403 times
Reputation: 3739
i would say a hug is appropriate. i wouldn't go out for every meal, but 2-3 times.
and go out and do something fun!
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Old 09-18-2008, 07:30 AM
 
3,124 posts, read 3,822,008 times
Reputation: 1955
Keep in mind, you may not feel the "click" when you meet him in person. However..

I lived in RI when I met someone online from FL. He flew up to meet me. I met him at the bottom of the escalator in the airport with a small, casual bouquet of flowers and hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

We were together for a year.

Until he met someone else who lived across the country online.

But I'm not bitter

Good Luck, I'm sure you'll have a great time!
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Old 09-18-2008, 07:37 AM
 
Location: Orlando
8,181 posts, read 15,483,954 times
Reputation: 49653
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashman View Post
I am a 33 year old gay man. I have met this NY guy (through the internet) four months ago and I'm so into him. I live in California and I have invited him over here. We are both looking forwards to see each other in real life. I have never fallen in love with someone through the internet before and I am a bit nervous. When he comes here, what should I do? How should I treat him? I just want to kiss this guy when I look at the pictures. The best would be to take it slow. How should I greet him when he arrives at the airport? hug? just wish him welcome? We should go out and dine. Should we do that every day?
What should I do if he is not interested (he seems to be now)? What if it all ends in quarrels? Any romantic tips?
I'm so nervous it will all go wrong.

And..... I want dating tips. Not homophobic comments.
Wow...1st meeting!! Aren't they fun!! NOT..

I'd approach with a handshake and let nature take it's course from there.

If you've been talking to him for this long you should know some of his likes and dislikes.

If it's been a stressfull trip, go back to your place so he can de-stress.
Make sure you have his favorite beverage and snacks on hand. That says alot.

Now you didn't say if he was planning to stay with you or a hotel.
If it's with you I would suggest knowing where the closest hotel is just in case things don't go as planned.

Go out to eat the 1st night and find a quiet place to talk. The rest of your time together should just go naturally from there.

Let us know how it goes!
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:43 AM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,492 posts, read 34,126,348 times
Reputation: 13034
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashman View Post
I am a 33 year old gay man. I have met this NY guy (through the internet) four months ago and I'm so into him. I live in California and I have invited him over here. We are both looking forwards to see each other in real life. I have never fallen in love with someone through the internet before and I am a bit nervous. When he comes here, what should I do? How should I treat him? I just want to kiss this guy when I look at the pictures. The best would be to take it slow. How should I greet him when he arrives at the airport? hug? just wish him welcome? We should go out and dine. Should we do that every day?
What should I do if he is not interested (he seems to be now)? What if it all ends in quarrels? Any romantic tips?
I'm so nervous it will all go wrong.

And..... I want dating tips. Not homophobic comments.
I think you should give him a LOBOTOMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 09-18-2008, 02:20 PM
 
Location: In God's country
1,059 posts, read 2,242,570 times
Reputation: 608
Where his he planning on staying? You may want to opt for him "not" to stay with you for the first night or so. Since you invited him out there, paying the hotel bill would be appropriate. This way, you can get to know him and when its time for him to go to the hotel, then you have a "breather" to reflect. When you are with someone for 24/7 you get all caught up in the moment, and you dont really sit back and look at the whole picture. Good Luck to you, let us know how you make out.
FYI, i met my husband online. We've talked online for over a year or more, then went to telephone conversations for another year and then met in person. We've been together 6 years now...so it can work.
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Old 09-18-2008, 06:24 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
754 posts, read 1,233,713 times
Reputation: 704
My advice would be to take your head out of the clouds!!! He's a man, not Prince Charming. You already have sooo many expectations about this man that it may be impossible for anyone to be as "wonderful" as he is in your fantasy. So don't set him up for failure and climb down off of cloud 9. He may be wonderful in his own right but you'll have to have a clear head to see it.

Also, a word of caution make sure that you introduce him to your friends as a safety precaution and have them take a picture of him.
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Old 09-18-2008, 06:30 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,227 posts, read 20,961,877 times
Reputation: 23964
I think that you need to take a deep breath, calm down, and just be yourself! Good luck!
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