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Old 09-19-2008, 01:24 PM
 
6 posts, read 35,918 times
Reputation: 17

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Here is my problem, due to health problems my wife has basically no sex drive.

It also is often painful for her now because of these problems.

I am a 49 year old man in extraordinary physical health. Because over the last 3 years I have had sex less than a dozen times I had such pent up energy - I used it to workout.

So now I have the body of a 20 year old and being in good shape has for some reason caused me to become attractive to a ton of 25-30 year old women. I seriously get hit on EVERY day. I have never acted on any of the attempts but now as time goes on I become increasingly frustrated.

I love my wife but I need the touch of a womans hand and the warmth of a smile that desires you and finds you attractive. I am completely at a loss as to what to do.

I would appreciate any advise - even bad advise.

 
Old 09-19-2008, 01:30 PM
 
Location: SUNNY AZ
4,589 posts, read 8,924,924 times
Reputation: 1781
I'm sorry to hear That's really a tough situation for you but at the same time when you married your wife it was for better OR worse.....right now is worse....maybe talk to her doctor and see if he gives you guys any options. Lemme tell ya, just because she can't physically have "intercourse" there are so many other options out there . Not to get too graphic but sometimes my husband doesn't even make it to the "main course" because of the other things can stimulate that much.....
 
Old 09-19-2008, 01:31 PM
 
542 posts, read 1,171,394 times
Reputation: 287
hmmm....tough one. As a woman, I would find other ways to take care of my husband so I didn't risk losing him. I would hope he is sympathetic to my plight obviously but I can't expect him to go without forever because of me. Just my opinion of course.
 
Old 09-19-2008, 01:32 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,168 posts, read 57,238,212 times
Reputation: 38453
Quote:
Originally Posted by Qantaqa View Post
Here is my problem, due to health problems my wife has basically no sex drive.

It also is often painful for her now because of these problems.

I am a 49 year old man in extraordinary physical health. Because over the last 3 years I have had sex less than a dozen times I had such pent up energy - I used it to workout.

So now I have the body of a 20 year old and being in good shape has for some reason caused me to become attractive to a ton of 25-30 year old women. I seriously get hit on EVERY day. I have never acted on any of the attempts but now as time goes on I become increasingly frustrated.

I love my wife but I need the touch of a womans hand and the warmth of a smile that desires you and finds you attractive. I am completely at a loss as to what to do.

I would appreciate any advise - even bad advise.
I could swear we saw this exact post a few months ago??

In any case, are you talking to her doctors about this? Is she sympathetic, apologetic or willing to work with you on the problem? This is a couples issue and you need to work on it as a couple.
 
Old 09-19-2008, 01:32 PM
 
Location: Taylors, SC
8,908 posts, read 14,915,054 times
Reputation: 2735
Sorry this is happening. There are other things your wife can do besides intercourse. Is she willing to do that? Even though you're not in the mood, you can still please your man. Have you talked to her to tell her how you feel?
 
Old 09-19-2008, 01:39 PM
 
650 posts, read 3,845,721 times
Reputation: 616
Has your wife been showing you affection with touch that doesn't involve sex. You don't need a sex drive to be affectionate with your partner--giving them massages, affectionate touch, cuddling, holding hands, etc. Even if she has no interest in sex she can still do these kinds of things.
 
Old 09-19-2008, 01:41 PM
 
Location: southern california
50,356 posts, read 47,778,369 times
Reputation: 41749
run a great deal.
 
Old 09-19-2008, 01:43 PM
 
1,677 posts, read 2,676,178 times
Reputation: 2059
Quote:
Originally Posted by Qantaqa View Post
Here is my problem, due to health problems my wife has basically no sex drive.

It also is often painful for her now because of these problems.

I am a 49 year old man in extraordinary physical health. Because over the last 3 years I have had sex less than a dozen times I had such pent up energy - I used it to workout.

So now I have the body of a 20 year old and being in good shape has for some reason caused me to become attractive to a ton of 25-30 year old women. I seriously get hit on EVERY day. I have never acted on any of the attempts but now as time goes on I become increasingly frustrated.

I love my wife but I need the touch of a womans hand and the warmth of a smile that desires you and finds you attractive. I am completely at a loss as to what to do.

I would appreciate any advise - even bad advise.
You've got to communicate. YOU may be doing something wrong w/out even knowing. Now that your fit, that may turn her off? She may need medication? Depression? Empty nest?

Just try'n to help, but as lola said "for better or worse, till death due you part". SHE needs YOU to help her, not HER to help YOU.

You have hands and the net, use them.

Turn this around, she needs you more than you know. Help her.

Good luck, I wish you both the best.

PS ever heard of "astroglide"?
 
Old 09-19-2008, 01:47 PM
 
6 posts, read 35,918 times
Reputation: 17
I have talked to her and was very open and direct.

I obviously am not a jerk because while I have opportunities often I have done nothing.

She knows its her fault and this makes it even harder for her because now she feels depressed over the subject. Yes, not many women feel sexually inclined when the subject makes them depressed.

Oh, one other point I didn't make is that before this we had a VERY active sex life. I have an extremely high drive and we often would go 2 or 3 months with having it every day.

So from that high to 12 times in 3 years is a tough thing. Plus it makes me feel unattractive to the person I love.
 
Old 09-19-2008, 01:51 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,168 posts, read 57,238,212 times
Reputation: 38453
Quote:
Originally Posted by Qantaqa View Post
I have talked to her and was very open and direct.

I obviously am not a jerk because while I have opportunities often I have done nothing.

She knows its her fault and this makes it even harder for her because now she feels depressed over the subject. Yes, not many women feel sexually inclined when the subject makes them depressed.

Oh, one other point I didn't make is that before this we had a VERY active sex life. I have an extremely high drive and we often would go 2 or 3 months with having it every day.

So from that high to 12 times in 3 years is a tough thing. Plus it makes me feel unattractive to the person I love.
Well, THERE'S a big part of your problem - you really believe this is "her" fault. That kind of attitude won't help solve anything. It's not about "fault" - it's about dealing with what is. And guess what buster...you're 49, right? It won't be too many more years (maybe even just 2 or 3) before YOU'LL be the one with the "problem". If she were perfectly healthy and YOU couldn't perform would you want her blaming you and thinking this was your fault???
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