Have you periodically "cleaned house" on friendships?

[Texasturkey]

Originally Posted by stan4

I am sure these people think they are good people, too. But two of them (couple) are shallow, materialistic, selfish, and so completely self-absorbed as to not be believed. Total yuppie stereotype. They can't seem to talk about anything but money, possessions, and buying things. Any other empty conversational spaces are filled with malicious gossip about other people.

The third just wouldn't stop lying to me and being completely unreliable.

Thought long and hard about it...now it seems so obvious that they needed to go.

So yeah, there are two sides, but there are also objective criteria.

I have other friends who are honorable, honest, have manners, engage in efforts that benefit people other than themselves, are truthful, and have good values.

I have found out that the people who are total doormats, have no opinions whatsoever, agree with everyone about everything, tell people what they want to hear, laugh at the same jokes and don't tell people they already heard them, kiss up to people, feed their egos, give underserved praise, disregard lying, ignore abusive behavior, roll out the red carpet, lend people their cars, babysit their kids for free, buy people food and drinks, give people $ for the pleasure of giving, have more friends than they know what to do with.

Is that real? Are those people really their friends? They are not being themselves. They are chumps. If I did that, I will have more stomach ulcers than I could count.

[eastidahomom]

I think it's true that sometimes we need to clear the toxins out of our lives. I went through a period a couple of years ago where it seemed that either I was cutting friendships or friends were cutting them with me.

Honestly, within a few months, the relief I felt was enormous!

One in particular, had been a friend for 30 years. But she was the type of person where no matter what happened, it was about her. I couldn't rely on her for anything. If I didn't call her when something happened, she got angry but the reality was, I got tired of her moaning and groaning and crying and making ME comfort HER when there was a death in my family, life, whatever. It was shear insanity.

Initially, I cried at the thought that she wouldn't be around. In some aspects, she had been around for so long that she was like a sister. Within no time, all I could feel was relief that she wasn't around. She could nitpick you to death and then get upset with you for getting upset with her! She could run your life better then you could any day. Oh gees, what control freak!

It just seems like time has a way of waking us up to the reality of certain situations. I am slow to judge people, very slow. Sometimes that's been to my disadvantage. But I will take the new friends that I have today over those old ones any day. And when and if such time comes that I have to clean house again, or they rid me of their home, I will have a much better perspective on things.