Ever Wish You Were More Attracted To Someone? (dating, boyfriend, long-term)

[DennyCrane]

A lot of times, you meet someone who you have everything in common with, but there's no physical attraction and no matter how hard you try, you can't force yourself to become more attracted to the person. But what about the opposite case?

I had an interesting discussion with a friend the other day who
I hadn't talked to in a while. He told me about a girl he's been dating. He says she's really attractive and the sex is great and even though she seems like a good person, he feels like they have nothing in common and that the only reason he's still interested in her is strictly physical. But this bothers him because he wishes his interest went beyond that. He's at that age where he wants to settle down and not just have meaningless flings. That made me laugh since there are plenty of guys out there who wouldn't care if all they had in common was sexual attraction. Obviously, you can't force yourself to have a deeper attraction to someone. It can develop over time, but at some point if it still hasn't, then it probably never will. I told him that if he's really looking for that deep connection with someone, then he's really wasting his time with this person. The sex may be great, but why get attached to someone when you know there's no long-term future there? And why stay with someone when you feel like you have to struggle to find anything in common?

So I was curious if people here have ever been in this situation. Ever met someone where you had a strong physical attraction and great physical chemistry, but you had to struggle to form a deeper bond with the person? And no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't. I'm not talking about where you get together with someone who looks great, but they're just dumb. I'm sure there are lot of men and women who could put with someone "beneath" them if they were hot enough. But at some point, we all probably want to be with someone who we can bond with on a level other than just physical.

[Lior Arel]

Yep! He was a sweet guy. His body was rocking and the sex was fantastic. However, we liked totally different entertainment and styles and our friends were way opposite each other. We were together for about 9 months and at first thought it was fun and interesting to see, but in the end it just didn't work. Oddly, he still calls me on the phone even though we really have nothing to say to each other.

[lola8822]

Originally Posted by DennyCrane

A lot of times, you meet someone who you have everything in common with, but there's no physical attraction and no matter how hard you try, you can't force yourself to become more attracted to the person. But what about the opposite case?

I had an interesting discussion with a friend the other day who
I hadn't talked to in a while. He told me about a girl he's been dating. He says she's really attractive and the sex is great and even though she seems like a good person, he feels like they have nothing in common and that the only reason he's still interested in her is strictly physical. But this bothers him because he wishes his interest went beyond that. He's at that age where he wants to settle down and not just have meaningless flings. That made me laugh since there are plenty of guys out there who wouldn't care if all they had in common was sexual attraction. Obviously, you can't force yourself to have a deeper attraction to someone. It can develop over time, but at some point if it still hasn't, then it probably never will. I told him that if he's really looking for that deep connection with someone, then he's really wasting his time with this person. The sex may be great, but why get attached to someone when you know there's no long-term future there? And why stay with someone when you feel like you have to struggle to find anything in common?

So I was curious if people here have ever been in this situation. Ever met someone where you had a strong physical attraction and great physical chemistry, but you had to struggle to form a deeper bond with the person? And no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't. I'm not talking about where you get together with someone who looks great, but they're just dumb. I'm sure there are lot of men and women who could put with someone "beneath" them if they were hot enough. But at some point, we all probably want to be with someone who we can bond with on a level other than just physical.

Wow yes....exactly. Sounds like my X boyfriend....he had been asking me out since elementary school but I just never felt an attraction so finally by HS I agreed to date him and I tried, I tried soooo hard! It just didn't jive for me......the wierd thing is he was really good looking....amazing body but I couldn't get past his concieded personality........

[asitshouldbe]

Every day!!!!!!...

[SifuPhil]

I no longer "try". The way I look at it is, if it doesn't happen naturally it isn't meant to be.

[lola8822]

Originally Posted by SifuPhil

I no longer "try". The way I look at it is, if it doesn't happen naturally it isn't meant to be.

I like you when your all serious lol

[SifuPhil]

Originally Posted by lola8822

I like you when your all serious lol

One spanking, coming up!

[Rcm58]

Originally Posted by SifuPhil

One spanking, coming up!

Make sure she doesn't lick your eyebrow off, I hate to picture you without the facial expressions.

[asitshouldbe]

Originally Posted by SifuPhil

One spanking, coming up!

Give me 12 inches and make it hurt.


I was talking about a spanking with a ruler.....what do you think I meant.

[SifuPhil]

Originally Posted by Rcm58

Make sure she doesn't lick your eyebrow off, I hate to picture you without the facial expressions.

Dang - too late!