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Old 09-23-2008, 12:59 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2007
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akire is on a distinguished road
Default Got Divorced? Should I?

I am contemplating divorcing my husband. Part of me really wants to and part of me doesn't.

My thoughts - We have small children together, I will have no health insurance, I can't stay at home anymore, I do still love/care about him, we make a good team at times, we have so much history.......He gets on my nerves, I can't stand his family, we aren't intimate often, I desire to be with other men, we fight often, what if I don't find someone better.

How do you know when it's time to get divorced? Did you have any reservations or none?
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Old 09-23-2008, 01:05 PM
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The last thing you should be worried about is "finding someone better". If you leave him, leave for you. Don't leave him for someone else. That's just askin' fo trouble!
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Old 09-23-2008, 01:05 PM
Where's m' beach?
 
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Don't get any advise on a BB. Look up or get a referral to a licensed therapist near you and make an appointment (just you) to talk it over with someone qualified. Only you can decide what's right for your life, but these people are credentialed to help you sort it all out.

Good Luck.
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Old 09-23-2008, 01:15 PM
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Small kids have a way of disillusioning people. You suddenly realize that you aren't going to grow up to be a rock-star or in the movies. THIS is your life. Some people can't handle it and go looking for greener pastures. Twinkle Toes is right, if you leave, you had better be leaving for you because you aren't just burning your husband, you're burning your kids with him.
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Old 09-23-2008, 01:18 PM
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Try some type of counseling. Those really arent extreme reasons for divorce. I am going thru divorce #2 and it sucks. It is especially difficult when children are involved.
How did I know it was time? #1, cheating, abusive alcoholic. #2, I knew it was time when I got served with divorce papers. LOL.
I regret that I was not wise in choosing a partner.
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Old 09-23-2008, 01:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by akire View Post
I am contemplating divorcing my husband. Part of me really wants to and part of me doesn't.

My thoughts - We have small children together, I will have no health insurance, I can't stay at home anymore, I do still love/care about him, we make a good team at times, we have so much history.......He gets on my nerves, I can't stand his family, we aren't intimate often, I desire to be with other men, we fight often, what if I don't find someone better.

How do you know when it's time to get divorced? Did you have any reservations or none?
Depression (oops, I meant potential recession ) is no time to divorce and particularly not in your situation. Besides, the known devil is probably not much different and possibly better than future devils. Only contemplate the idea if you truly want to be alone, I'd say.
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Old 09-23-2008, 01:19 PM
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Have you tried to talk to him about your issues? Have you tried councelling with a qualified psychologist together or seperately? Like someone else said, go to therapy and talk about the issues. It sounds like you have already made up your mind.
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Old 09-23-2008, 01:19 PM
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I would strongly suggest therapy before you make a def. decision. See if he's willing to work out your differences.
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Old 09-23-2008, 01:26 PM
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I divorced my husband when our children were 5 and 7 for very similar reasons that the OP stated. It was the biggest mistake of my life and I still regret it to this very day, 15 years later.

Another man will probably not make you happy, that comes from within and it is seldom a permanent state of mind.

Do everything you possibly can to salvage your relationship, counseling, therapy, whatever. I wish you all the very best.
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Old 09-23-2008, 01:30 PM
You must be the change u wish to see in the world-
 
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Marriage is not easy all the time but you did agree to your vows am I right? This means you morally should exhaust every single possible option you can before even thinking of the big "D" word. Grass isn't greener on the otherside, sorry and if your not happy now you won't be happy with any other man either.....
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