Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You call it selfishness, I call it human nature. Romantic love isn't that different from other types of love we have. We have all been teenagers, we all know just how eager we were then to escape from the strict family that simply didn't seem to understand us, that doesn't mean we don't love our parents. Marriage&family is more about stability and long term commitment while romantic love is more about short-term thrill and pure animal instinct. More often than not, the two don't mix that well.
I will use the ever so popular quote: "You can put lipstick on a pig"
Selfishness is selfishness no matter what way you try to spin it. Whether we are selfish by nature and we are completely helpless to fight it. I don't believe this at all because I have seen many relationships that were sucessful and long-lived that did not involve anyone cheating on anyone else.
I think the definition of love has been skewed and twisted and little children throw it around way too much. (and by little children I mean anyone without the maturity to understand that true love lasts much longer and runs much deeper than the thrill of the chase lust phase).
Have you ever seen a couple after they have been married for 60 plus years? That is love, not the honeymoon phase!
There are plenty of men/women who have no intention of leaving their family but just want to find something exciting to do. Marriage after 10 years often turn into a dull dead pond of water. Naturally, people would want to escape.
This goes back to my earlier point about how we're always looking for something better. In the old days, you'd hear stories about how people stayed with the same company their whole careers. Nowadays, the average turnover is 3 years. Sure people have good reasons for wanting a new job, like better pay, better benefits, more responsibilities, etc. But often, and this is true with younger folks, they're just bored and want to see what's out there. There's nothing with their job, but there's this nagging feeling that there might be an even better job. People are like this with relationships. They have a wonderful partner and the relationship is fine, but in the back of their mind they're thinking "Can I do even better?"
Quote:
Originally Posted by eatfastnoodle
Romantic love isn't that different from other types of love we have. We have all been teenagers, we all know just how eager we were then to escape from the strict family that simply didn't seem to understand us, that doesn't mean we don't love our parents.
As adults, we may still not get along with our parents. We may be angry at them for how they raised us and how they failed us. But for the most part, we accept them. We don't ditch our family because no matter how much they get on our nerves or disappoint us, we would never be happy without them in our lives. A person may hate their parents, but I doubt you'll see them run out and try to find a new set of parents. But ultimately, people's sense of loyalty and fidelity in any relationship comes down to their character. Our base animal instincts may tell us one thing, but we have control over how we let our feelings influence our judgment. It's called having strength of character. I had a job once where the company was struggling. People were nervous and looking for other jobs. But my manager treated me very well, was going out of his way to accommodate me, and put a lot of faith in me. I felt that he earned my trust and I was willing to stand by him, even though the company wasn't even profitable. I was tempted to leave. I even had recruiters calling me with some great-sounding jobs. But I stayed. And I think that says a lot about me and the kind of person I am. Likewise, the person who cheats. They can come with all kinds of excuses, but ultimately no one forced them to be unfaithful. They have complete control over their actions. So I'm not buying this stuff about how love fades or men are doing what's in their nature. That's a cop-out.
I think the definition of love has been skewed and twisted and little children throw it around way too much. (and by little children I mean anyone without the maturity to understand that true love lasts much longer and runs much deeper than the thrill of the chase lust phase).
Have you ever seen a couple after they have been married for 60 plus years? That is love, not the honeymoon phase!
Excellent point. Love changes, but true love persists. Think about the love a parent has for a child. When that child is a baby, the parent rushes home from work to hold it, play with it, and make silly faces at it. Fast forward to when that child is a teenager. The parent isn't excited to see get home and see that kid. They dread it. That child is no longer cute and cuddly. They're all grown, covered in acne, sporting long hair and bad taste in clothes, and complaining about what a rotten parent you are. But you still love them and would give your life for them. Same thing with couples. They may not lust after one another or have wild dreams about each other. But they know they could never live without that person. The problem with people these days is they expect that initial lovers' high to always be there.
The problem with people these days is they expect that initial lovers' high to always be there.
That's very true. Some people go from relationship to relationship looking for that initial high. Its not really love its lust and newness. Not saying it wrong, just sayin.
There are plenty of men/women who have no intention of leaving their family but just want to find something exciting to do. Marriage after 10 years often turn into a dull dead pond of water. Naturally, people would want to escape.
It's not just culture. Love is nothing more than chemical reaction. Like all other chemical reactions, love will die.
Duh, WRONG.
Feeling "in love" may be a chemical reaction but love is a verb, an action, a choice. The chemical reaction my die out, but true love never dies - ever.
They cheat because they are not "110%" happy at home. It goes for both men and women. If you are truly happy and love the person you are with there is no reason to cheat. Is it really worth a one night stand, that might not even be that good, to break up a good thing?
Relationships take work and if you don't put the time and energy in you won't get a good one out of it. In a lot of cases I think men have a higher sex drive than women, so to all the women out there. "Take Care Of Your Man".
Why do women assume that because we are happy that our man is happy? Just because YOU think home is good doesn't mean he does. The fact that he goes outside of the relationship means something's missing and HE doesn't think he has it good at home.
Very good point.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
