Any geniuses out there who can not find a partner at their intellectual level? (ladies, children)

[Driller1]

I am sure my IQ points would not be great. I was just told by a state agency that I had "all the charm of a sleeping rattle snake". This is what has worked well for me.

[JonathanLB]

Originally Posted by Ivorytickler

Sorry but people who are secure don't brag. I've known many highly intelligent people, highly successful people and rich people. Only one felt the need to brag. Turned out he was robbing Peter to pay Paul and his house of cards tumbled.

Now, I know many people who are of far more average intelligence, wealth or success than they think who brag all the time. And yes, it's bragging to tell others personal information that is not pertinent to the social event.

If you feel a need to tell people about how great you are, you'd better ask yourself why. My husband and I go to an event every year where highly intelligent, successful and rich people are the norm (no we're not among them we just get the invite at the request of a large benefactor because she knows we appreciate the arts and she's too old to use it anymore). Intelligence, success and wealth are never discussed. I'm sure they're aware that my husband and I don't fit but they're polite and kind.

My experience is that truely intelligent, successful and rich people don't feel a need to tell anyone about it and they don't use it as an excuse that they can't get a date. So, yeah, people think you're bragging when you bring up those things. Why wouldn't they? The only purpose for the declaration is to state you're better than everyone else.

That's YOUR definition of bragging! But since you are, like most people, probably biased with what you interpret as bragging, it is meaningless. If someone is talking about hobbies, and you happen to mention, "Yeah I just got a new Ferrari, it's been so much fun driving it around!" you were well within the bounds of the conversation to bring up your newest hobby -- it's the other person's fault if they think that's "bragging." It's only bragging if someone says, "Yeah my Honda Civic is always breaking down," and you say, "Oh. That's what happens I guess when you can't afford a really great luxury car, like my BMW for instance," or whatever. That comes across as bragging. But to some people MY EXISTENCE would be bragging -- it's obvious I'm a threat to them by just being around, so they interpret everything through the lens of "bragging," when really none of it is.

Most people don't brag, in point of fact, but a lot of what people say is taken that way. If my friend tells me his film got into another film festival, it's not bragging, it's just stating a fact and I ask him a bit more about it, and ask if he's going, etc. It's conversation among filmmakers. If you want to be so touchy about what is bragging, you couldn't possibly have a meaningful conversation with ANYONE.

So I really could care less what anyone else thinks because it's your own insecurity if you interpret everything as bragging. Nobody just says in person, "Yes I am a brilliant genius, and super rich, and I'm hot!" so it's always just insecure people trying to bring better people down. Someone who is rich, for instance, may talk about recent vacations they took around the world, and some douchebag takes that as "bragging" because they're so poor they can't travel out of their city let alone out of the country. But is that the problem of the rich guy? No, it's just the insecurity of a petty, pathetic, poor loser.

[Driller1]

Originally Posted by JonathanLB

That's YOUR definition of bragging! But since you are, like most people, probably biased with what you interpret as bragging, it is meaningless. If someone is talking about hobbies, and you happen to mention, "Yeah I just got a new Ferrari, it's been so much fun driving it around!" you were well within the bounds of the conversation to bring up your newest hobby -- it's the other person's fault if they think that's "bragging." It's only bragging if someone says, "Yeah my Honda Civic is always breaking down," and you say, "Oh. That's what happens I guess when you can't afford a really great luxury car, like my BMW for instance," or whatever. That comes across as bragging. But to some people MY EXISTENCE would be bragging -- it's obvious I'm a threat to them by just being around, so they interpret everything through the lens of "bragging," when really none of it is.

Most people don't brag, in point of fact, but a lot of what people say is taken that way. If my friend tells me his film got into another film festival, it's not bragging, it's just stating a fact and I ask him a bit more about it, and ask if he's going, etc. It's conversation among filmmakers. If you want to be so touchy about what is bragging, you couldn't possibly have a meaningful conversation with ANYONE.

So I really could care less what anyone else thinks because it's your own insecurity if you interpret everything as bragging. Nobody just says in person, "Yes I am a brilliant genius, and super rich, and I'm hot!" so it's always just insecure people trying to bring better people down. Someone who is rich, for instance, may talk about recent vacations they took around the world, and some douchebag takes that as "bragging" because they're so poor they can't travel out of their city let alone out of the country. But is that the problem of the rich guy? No, it's just the insecurity of a petty, pathetic, poor loser.

I have to agree. We all value different things.
My drill rig is much more expensive than a Ferrari. But, the car owner would not trade for it, and I would not either. If I was told I was in a film festival, I would thing someone was trying to blackmail me!!!

[OA 5599]

Originally Posted by Ivorytickler

Sorry but people who are secure don't brag. I've known many highly intelligent people, highly successful people and rich people. Only one felt the need to brag. Turned out he was robbing Peter to pay Paul and his house of cards tumbled.

Now, I know many people who are of far more average intelligence, wealth or success than they think who brag all the time. And yes, it's bragging to tell others personal information that is not pertinent to the social event.

If you feel a need to tell people about how great you are, you'd better ask yourself why. My husband and I go to an event every year where highly intelligent, successful and rich people are the norm (no we're not among them we just get the invite at the request of a large benefactor because she knows we appreciate the arts and she's too old to use it anymore). Intelligence, success and wealth are never discussed. I'm sure they're aware that my husband and I don't fit but they're polite and kind.

My experience is that truely intelligent, successful and rich people don't feel a need to tell anyone about it and they don't use it as an excuse that they can't get a date. So, yeah, people think you're bragging when you bring up those things. Why wouldn't they? The only purpose for the declaration is to state you're better than everyone else.

This is a discussion about how intelligent and/or successful people can have a hard time meeting partners. In this case, it is perfectly acceptable to discuss one's own intelligence and/or success, as it is what the topic of the conversation is about. I agree that going around and dropping one's IQ number in a casual conversation about something totally different is bragging (I personally haven't mentioned mine in several years until this thread, but in this case, it is relevant to the topic we are discussing).

Here, several people replied saying they have problems getting dates or not making others feel bad because they are intelligent/successful....its not a forum for bragging, it is a forum for discussing a legitimate problem, and trying to find advice/solutions from others.

It can be very hard to interpret if someone is bragging or not. On another forum I used to visit, someone started a thread called "Most Expensive Pic", and invited everyone to take a picture of a group of objects and say how much they cost. He volunteered with some expensive electronics and jewelry and claimed his pic was worth over $20k. Now that is obviously bragging...they guy was just looking to show off, nothing more. Now that I think about it, someone on that same forum started a thread saying "What is your IQ?", and claimed to have one around 150. Again, bragging. It was amazing how many people with 140+ IQ's appeared on a classic truck forum

[djfish34ren]

Wow... at the risk of getting destroyed for stating certain things that could be construed as "bragging", I will first state that the information I am providing is far from such... I am no better than anyone else, along with the reverse of that statement.

It is hard to find someone at the same level, yes. Growing up, it was in gifted programs, classes, blah blah blah. Luckily I was also a sports freak, which balanced that out so I didn't have to get into fights every day haha. After lower-level school, I went to college, and carried a 4.0 gpa without really studying and drinking/going out all the time. Wasn't the smartest thing to do, but the end result was the same as it would be had I dug in a little deeper.

As far as the IQ question, I have been tested a few times, and the results varied immensely- anywhere from 140-165. Personally, I think IQ tests are tools created by those who think they are "smart" to boost the egos of others who feel the same way. It's all bogus.

As far as the question presented, yes, it is hard to find someone at the same level. But it is not hard to simply find someone that you connect with. There is more to a successful relationship than "who is the smartest?"!

[Ivorytickler]

Originally Posted by JonathanLB

That's YOUR definition of bragging! But since you are, like most people, probably biased with what you interpret as bragging, it is meaningless. If someone is talking about hobbies, and you happen to mention, "Yeah I just got a new Ferrari, it's been so much fun driving it around!" you were well within the bounds of the conversation to bring up your newest hobby -- it's the other person's fault if they think that's "bragging." It's only bragging if someone says, "Yeah my Honda Civic is always breaking down," and you say, "Oh. That's what happens I guess when you can't afford a really great luxury car, like my BMW for instance," or whatever. That comes across as bragging. But to some people MY EXISTENCE would be bragging -- it's obvious I'm a threat to them by just being around, so they interpret everything through the lens of "bragging," when really none of it is.

Most people don't brag, in point of fact, but a lot of what people say is taken that way. If my friend tells me his film got into another film festival, it's not bragging, it's just stating a fact and I ask him a bit more about it, and ask if he's going, etc. It's conversation among filmmakers. If you want to be so touchy about what is bragging, you couldn't possibly have a meaningful conversation with ANYONE.

So I really could care less what anyone else thinks because it's your own insecurity if you interpret everything as bragging. Nobody just says in person, "Yes I am a brilliant genius, and super rich, and I'm hot!" so it's always just insecure people trying to bring better people down. Someone who is rich, for instance, may talk about recent vacations they took around the world, and some douchebag takes that as "bragging" because they're so poor they can't travel out of their city let alone out of the country. But is that the problem of the rich guy? No, it's just the insecurity of a petty, pathetic, poor loser.

Not if I'm the person you're talking to at a party One thing about me. I'm, painfully, average. Except that I actually looked up the stats to find that out :lol.

As an engineer, I've spent plenty of time around truely intelligent people and I can tell you they don't have to tell you they're intelligent. If you have it, it's obvious. In fact they have a hard time hiding it. If you have to talk about it, well, I guess you don't have it.

And, the part of my posts you keep ignoring...it's not your score that matter, it's what you do with it and if you use it to make others feel inferior, they'll diss you and move on to someone less arrogant. Intelligence isn't the problem here. Lack of tact and a need to show off are.

[Ivorytickler]

Originally Posted by djfish34ren

Wow... at the risk of getting destroyed for stating certain things that could be construed as "bragging", I will first state that the information I am providing is far from such... I am no better than anyone else, along with the reverse of that statement.

It is hard to find someone at the same level, yes. Growing up, it was in gifted programs, classes, blah blah blah. Luckily I was also a sports freak, which balanced that out so I didn't have to get into fights every day haha. After lower-level school, I went to college, and carried a 4.0 gpa without really studying and drinking/going out all the time. Wasn't the smartest thing to do, but the end result was the same as it would be had I dug in a little deeper.

As far as the IQ question, I have been tested a few times, and the results varied immensely- anywhere from 140-165. Personally, I think IQ tests are tools created by those who think they are "smart" to boost the egos of others who feel the same way. It's all bogus.

As far as the question presented, yes, it is hard to find someone at the same level. But it is not hard to simply find someone that you connect with. There is more to a successful relationship than "who is the smartest?"!

I'll second the test scores. When I was in high school, we took an IQ test just to prove the point. It was written for a different demographic. I didn't even score average on that one yet went on to get two masters degrees, which would have been just about impossible if I were below average. Anyway, the point of the exercise was to show how inaccurate these tests are. You can take two different tests and have two different scores. Heck, you can take the same test on two different days and score differenly.

And even if you score high, it's not your score that matters. It's what you do with what you have. I know people who will tell you they are geniuses who did nothing with it and others who are average who went way beyond the call of duty.

Personally, I think blaming your IQ because you can't get a date is rather lame. If you're that smart, shoudln't you be able to figure out how to meet people like you? There are high IQ societies you can join just for that purpose. I'd be willing to bet there are dating services for that purpose too. I'm also willing to bet it's something other than IQ resulting in no dates but someone that smart should be able to figure out why it is the opposite sex would rather walk the other way.

IMHO, these "geniuses" have priced themselves out of the market. No one is going to measure up to their image of themselves. If their image weren't over inflated, they wouldn't have a problem. Even if they're in the top tenth of a percent that still leaves 100 people at their level for every 100,000 (the size of the average city around here) and who knows how many thousands on the internet. Just join a dating service and specify the IQ you want in your date....or join the high IQ society....or join Mensa....or put an ad in the paper....you'd think someone this smart could figure this out

And then there is something else to consider. Gifted at 10 doesn't mean gifted at 20. Sometimes, all gifted means is you got there first but in time everyone catches up. That's when your score becomes very important because it's the only thing to set you apart

Anyway, I'll take being average any day. It's so much easier to get a date. All you have to do is flash some clevage. No brain matter needed :lol

[Ivorytickler]

BTW, I'm simply stating how these claims are percieved. You may mean something else but what you mean doesn't matter if the message is taken differently.

I'd highly recommend that geniuses keep their IQ scores to themselves at parties. No matter what you mean when you start declaring your intelligence, it will be taken as boasting and no one likes someone stuck on themselves.

[mrstewart]

Originally Posted by Ivorytickler

BTW, I'm simply stating how these claims are percieved. You may mean something else but what you mean doesn't matter if the message is taken differently.

I'd highly recommend that geniuses keep their IQ scores to themselves at parties. No matter what you mean when you start declaring your intelligence, it will be taken as boasting and no one likes someone stuck on themselves.

Gosh, Ivory...does that mean I should not find a way to casually mention how much money my husband and I made last year while at a cocktail party?? You are such a party pooper

Let's update the no-no conversation topics...

-religion
-politics
-salary
-IQ scores

[artsyguy]

Hi

Can we all please get along and be best friends please?

P.S. Bragging is annoying.