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Well. Now that I am here.... ... I did have a good 2nd date with another this weekend who was a nice height and we got along great - and he loved my shoes.
He is a great catch, but if the physical attraction is not 100% there - you can't force it. Physical attraction is very important to me. I'm one of the shallow types, admittedly. I'll go stand in line with the other shallow men and women who cannot be with the overweight, second longer toe, shorter/taller, balding, man-boobs, etc. Maybe, just maybe, we can all get a group discount or carpool to Dr Phil.
Well dang!,All my hopes have been dashed from flirting with MS.Jeep now.Being that I am 5 '8" and a half,don't have a second larger toe but I have a crooked tooth and one shoulder higher than the other so I guess that is the ect,I would surely be shot down in flames
Well be true to yourself.Just out of a 20 year relationship never knowing anybody else,yeah you have some figuiring out to do.Like I said you are hot in the photo but don't slide down the hot meter because of material issues like clothes fitting because honestly us guys don't really care about your fashion sense usually.
Readers digest version (again) - this is old hat now, because I ended it. But here goes.....After having been married for 20 years, recently divorced, discovering what I do want and do not want in a man - what is tolerable and what are deal breakers - came across a great guy, but he is shorter than I am attracted to. I am 5'8, he was 5'8. I prefer men 6'0+. In finding that all of my outfits go with shoes that will not keep me at eye-level with him (except flip flops and one pair I cannot stand), this was very uncomfortable to me and a turn-off in person. I still felt taller. I did not want to keep the man in bed on a constant so we are the same height. The attraction was just not there for me due to the height - I ended it, end of story - I will be out with someone who is 6'3 next Saturday night and I will perhaps come and create a thread on his incessant drooling or something just to keep the threads active with eye-poppers.
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guys let this be a lesson that when a woman breaks it off and you are wondering what happened because everything "seemed" great and you are wondering what you did wrong or what is wrong with you.....blah
Well dang!,All my hopes have been dashed from flirting with MS.Jeep now.Being that I am 5 '8" and a half,don't have a second larger toe but I have a crooked tooth and one shoulder higher than the other so I guess that is the ect,I would surely be shot down in flames
Well be true to yourself.Just out of a 20 year relationship never knowing anybody else,yeah you have some figuiring out to do.Like I said you are hot in the photo but don't slide down the hot meter because of material issues like clothes fitting because honestly us guys don't really care about your fashion sense usually.
Right now, for the most part, I would to have fun and explore - as much as settling down with someone sounds nice because I like the stability - I need to discover what I really want in someone again. Last time I knew what I wanted in someone, I was 16. Many moons! Once I am out of the "want to see what I like" stage - I will look at other things more seriously down the line. I have to be in the right mindset for that. What I do want to avoid is going into a rebound relationship and hurting someone. That's very important to me right now.
Went on a date last night with a guy I met at the car wash, who was also washing his car when I was. Change machine meeting - you know how it goes...
While getting dressed, I panicked. It dawned on me - that the guy was my exact same height....which eliminated several outfits I wanted to wear that are most flattering because the cute shoes that go with them have a 2-1/2" to 3-1/2" heel on them. I ended up wearing something I was only half-happy with that went with something with no heel. I hated it but it was better than feeling my complex too deeply.
This guy has an A+ personality, huge heart, adores the bejeezus out of me, his mind is incredible, awesome sense of humor, he is handsome, great job at the hospital, and wants to take me out again tonight.
BUT!!! - here I am debating on whether or not to cancel because here I am AGAIN looking at my wardrobe and shoes. This time blankly. I have NOTHING to wear with no heel and I am NOT going to be taller than he is - I have HUGE hang-ups about that, I've spoken about it before in threads. I am not going to be tacky and wear flip-flops for an evening date. Hm, unless of course, I request a total casual date and we head to a place to eat off the beach and hang at the beach after or one of the beach bars where I can wear flip flops. But we can't keep doing that every time - and I am not going to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe specialized to go with flats, I do not even like flats - they're so 80's, or I would have a bunch of them.
What would you do IF you had a height complex like I do (and I know a few of you do by your threads) - you find a guy who is so much of what you find desirable and desires you - but you can't get past the height factor and it's affecting what clothes to wear - and if you want to even go out at all. The advice that I should overlook it, won't work, I cannot overlook it.
I already know I am going to be a fool if I let this guy go - but I also know I can't be taller than him because I can't overlook it. He seemed so much taller at the change machine!!!
Help. What would you do beside asking him to walk on his knees???
PS. Same height, and for some reason, I STILL felt taller than him last night. I'm in a pickle. Great guy - and foolish girl???
My BF is only tops and inch taller than me so basically we are the same height. I just say oh well. There are thing that can be a lot worse. I wear heels neither of us mind. I love him not his height. Go for it if he is a great guy and you should be able to look past it. Good luck!
JeepGirl, I hope you didn't dump him too quickly. Have you ever met someone who didn't "ring your bells" the first time you met, but the more you got to know the person the more attractive they became to you? Maybe that could have happened with this guy.
That being said, I do know where you're coming from. My BF is the shortest guy I've ever dated. When I wear heels, I'm about an inch shorter than him and it does make me a little uncomfortable. But he loves when I wear heels and has no issue with it, even encourages it. So I "got over it," as one poster put it (even though I know you took issue with that comment). My BF is the love of my life, but there were many men who came before him who I would not date if they were his height. He caught my attention and has kept it ever since because he is who he is, regardless of height.
guys let this be a lesson that when a woman breaks it off and you are wondering what happened because everything "seemed" great and you are wondering what you did wrong or what is wrong with you.....blah
It wasn't you.....it was her.
Or it was you... and she didn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you the truth. What guy wants to hear that he's too short, or has bad breath or teeth, or an annoying laugh? If the magic isn't there, than it just isn't. And in the beginning of a relationship is when you get the most magic possible, after that, it's all downhill.
I'm 5'8, NCyank. - And with some thought for the last couple hours - and after I called a couple of my friends on their opinions and took things here into consideration. . . I did make a call and kindly ended things with him while it was still so very early into it. He said he kind of suspected it was a big issue for me after we briefly spoke about the height, when he tried to kiss me last night as the date ended and I turned my head away...
Too bad he was not a couple inches taller. *snap*
Geez, here is a dream man, and because he is a couple inches short, you dump him????
Good luck finding the perfect man.
You're going to find someone else who has the height covered, and maybe he'll be a jerk. Have fun.
If the magic isn't there, than it just isn't. And in the beginning of a relationship is when you get the most magic possible, after that, it's all downhill.
So Jeep is looking for a perfect man (assuming she's perfect as well with no faults), and you're looking for magic. LOL
Geez, here is a dream man, and because he is a couple inches short, you dump him????
Good luck finding the perfect man.
You're going to find someone else who has the height covered, and maybe he'll be a jerk. Have fun.
She's young, there's plenty of fish in the sea... so what's the harm in her being picky? And some guys do have a problem with dating a woman that is taller than them. So why shouldn't she be allowed to want a boyfriend that's taller than her? Plus, it's not like she's making threads about a lack of men to date. If she was a whiner, then your post might make more sense, but she's not a complainer.
What is she was dumping him because he was a few pounds overweight and didn't have six-pack abs? Isn't that on the same level as men that only date skinny women?
And it's not as if she is breaking his heart, not after only a few dates. She broke it off with him quickly and she also didn't use him for free dinners. And if she did break his heart, then he needs to seek professional help in distinguishing between a simple crush and true love.
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