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You're right... it does suck. I am sorry that you are going through this as well.
It will end up well for us. That I know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyLisa
I am going through the same thing right now!! I just left the gym early, because I could not stop thinking about my break up. IT SUCKS! But after reading your story, (mine way different) but the same feelings, I so feel for you. They say time cures all, and yes it does. We do have to count all things as a blessing, and its for our own good. That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
I suppose I could give a quick update here on my situation, since so many of you replied.
I have just been spending my time having fun, and hanging out with friends and family. Still think about the ex, still get down about it sometimes... but not nearly like before. Slowly everything will heal.
Haven't gone back to work yet (and DON'T FREAK OUT ON ME FOR IT!). Still getting paid though, so as long as that is going to continue I will continue to have a bit of fun! (They owe me vacation time I lost anyway).
All contact was cut on my end since my first post (except for me canceling the lunch a few weeks back). Haven't heard from her, but did notice on the caller id that she called today when I was out golfing. Not going to call her back either- didn't leave a message, and quite frankly I don't want her to know that I care she did.
I will update you later on. Thanks again for the replies I've gotten.
I suppose I could give a quick update here on my situation, since so many of you replied.
I have just been spending my time having fun, and hanging out with friends and family. Still think about the ex, still get down about it sometimes... but not nearly like before. Slowly everything will heal.
Haven't gone back to work yet (and DON'T FREAK OUT ON ME FOR IT!). Still getting paid though, so as long as that is going to continue I will continue to have a bit of fun! (They owe me vacation time I lost anyway).
All contact was cut on my end since my first post (except for me canceling the lunch a few weeks back). Haven't heard from her, but did notice on the caller id that she called today when I was out golfing. Not going to call her back either- didn't leave a message, and quite frankly I don't want her to know that I care she did.
I will update you later on. Thanks again for the replies I've gotten.
BRAVO!!!! You're doing great! Keep up the good work!
You were the first to respond initially, and still responding again.
Thanks a lot.
Hey, been there. It's not fun at all, but don't you feel a sense of power having responded (or not responded) the way you did? Isn't it helping the process? It seems we feel so helpless when everything is totally out of our control and that makes us feel worse. But once we take the wheel again, we seem to feel much more capable of dealing with it. You did that, that's cool!
Actually I do feel like I am the one in control, of what happens between us (nothing) and what I do personally in my life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastidahomom
Hey, been there. It's not fun at all, but don't you feel a sense of power having responded (or not responded) the way you did? Isn't it helping the process? It seems we feel so helpless when everything is totally out of our control and that makes us feel worse. But once we take the wheel again, we seem to feel much more capable of dealing with it. You did that, that's cool!
Update time... Hey, getting this stuff out helps me... better than paying a therapist!!
Last night, I had a friend over watching the baseball game (haha... ********* Red Sox!) and a car that I didn't recognize parked in my driveway. I walked outside and was greeted by my smiling ex...
She said hey, etc. etc., and followed me in the house. She saw that everything had been moved around. Said she likes it all a lot better now and wondered why we didn't do it when we were together, then walked around the rest of the house, saying how great everything was. Must have told me like 50 times (probably because she was nervous). What's the point of looking at everything? I assume to see how I am holding my life together. She said she was proud.
She walked in the kitchen and noticed that I had switched the stuff in the cabinets around (basically just reversed the order it was all in). She asked why I did that, and I said I wanted everything to be different.
She then just looked around a bit more and said that she feels so weird being here again, and I just smiled and said yep. She then said she just wanted to show me her new car that she got alone (since she had never done that before and was proud), and to tell me that she can't do dinner this week because she is going with friends to Chicago (she had said a while back she wanted to have dinner). I said enjoy yourself, and be careful.
I then walked her back out, and when she got in I leaned on the side and asked again how she is really doing. She said she is fine, just has passing moments (like after a rough day at work) where she misses me giving her a hug, and misses talking to me about things that are going on, since no one else understands her like I do. But said she doesn't get depressed or anything. Understandable... she wasn't rejected. She then said she doesn't think it's still hit home for her yet that I'm not there for her, and that when I get into a serious relationship with someone else it will be hard. Then said she wants me to do that though (probably so she doesn't feel guilty about replacing me...) to which I said don't worry, I will.
She then said "I do still love you..." and I said yea, i still do too. I felt the awkwardness building, so I said I won't hold her up.
Before she pulled away she said "Alright... see ya babe".. Thats what she called me when we were together. I laughed and said what did you just say... she just shook her head, smiled and said nevermind, and left.
She was happy to see me, I could see that. I held myself together pretty well. I wasn't depressed after it, nor was I optimistic about us being together later. I was optimistic about us being ok separately though. Never tried to hug her or anything either- didn't even have the desire to. So my healing is moving along, I think.
Update time... Hey, getting this stuff out helps me... better than paying a therapist!!
Last night, I had a friend over watching the baseball game (haha... ********* Red Sox!) and a car that I didn't recognize parked in my driveway. I walked outside and was greeted by my smiling ex...
She said hey, etc. etc., and followed me in the house. She saw that everything had been moved around. Said she likes it all a lot better now and wondered why we didn't do it when we were together, then walked around the rest of the house, saying how great everything was. Must have told me like 50 times (probably because she was nervous). What's the point of looking at everything? I assume to see how I am holding my life together. She said she was proud.
She walked in the kitchen and noticed that I had switched the stuff in the cabinets around (basically just reversed the order it was all in). She asked why I did that, and I said I wanted everything to be different.
She then just looked around a bit more and said that she feels so weird being here again, and I just smiled and said yep. She then said she just wanted to show me her new car that she got alone (since she had never done that before and was proud), and to tell me that she can't do dinner this week because she is going with friends to Chicago (she had said a while back she wanted to have dinner). I said enjoy yourself, and be careful.
I then walked her back out, and when she got in I leaned on the side and asked again how she is really doing. She said she is fine, just has passing moments (like after a rough day at work) where she misses me giving her a hug, and misses talking to me about things that are going on, since no one else understands her like I do. But said she doesn't get depressed or anything. Understandable... she wasn't rejected. She then said she doesn't think it's still hit home for her yet that I'm not there for her, and that when I get into a serious relationship with someone else it will be hard. Then said she wants me to do that though (probably so she doesn't feel guilty about replacing me...) to which I said don't worry, I will.
She then said "I do still love you..." and I said yea, i still do too. I felt the awkwardness building, so I said I won't hold her up.
Before she pulled away she said "Alright... see ya babe".. Thats what she called me when we were together. I laughed and said what did you just say... she just shook her head, smiled and said nevermind, and left.
She was happy to see me, I could see that. I held myself together pretty well. I wasn't depressed after it, nor was I optimistic about us being together later. I was optimistic about us being ok separately though. Never tried to hug her or anything either- didn't even have the desire to. So my healing is moving along, I think.
Do you see how awesome you are?
Some girl will be very happy to be with you, when it's right. If that takes some time, it'll take some time. But in the meantime, it sounds like you are moving forward. Continue being proud and standing tall. You're doing great!
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