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Old 10-07-2008, 05:51 PM
 
21,898 posts, read 19,046,725 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
I make eye contact with most people (except the one's I don't want to engage in any dialog with). It's not flirting. I do it mainly to acknowledge the person standing in front of me.
same here
i make eye contact with people routinely
(except when there is some reason not to, like if there is some danger, or people trying to get me to sign a petition)

but at work, walking around town, yes i do
it's not flirting, to me it is just human
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Old 10-07-2008, 05:53 PM
 
Location: SUNNY AZ
4,589 posts, read 13,136,284 times
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I think it depends on your personality.....for me....it's natural because i'm really outgoing.....but for others, it's totally un-natural....they might consider it flirting.

OP.....if you know your wife has a friendly, outgoing personality then it's probably innocent.
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Old 10-07-2008, 08:07 PM
 
17 posts, read 56,472 times
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Well she's normally not very outgoing. SHe actually will sometimes avoid someone she knows when she comes across them in a store. It's not just her looking at someone but catching their eye so that even a guy she doesn't know will say hi to her. They're definitely not saying hi to me and I'm standing right there. In other words the guys notice that she's eyeing them. As I said I don't notice women or senior citizens catching her eye nor saying hi to her. Nor is it someone standing in front of us in line but usually someone that we're passing in an aisle.

Last edited by theroadlesstravelled; 10-07-2008 at 08:10 PM.. Reason: clarification
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Old 10-07-2008, 08:31 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,824,483 times
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lol it is flirting. Maybe she is very very bored or depressed and trying to cheer herself up and boost up her confidence.
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Old 10-07-2008, 10:16 PM
 
132 posts, read 461,695 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Maybe she is very very bored or depressed and trying to cheer herself up and boost up her confidence.
Or maybe she is trying to get the OP's attention in a passive-aggressive manner. Perhaps she is saying, "See, DH, plenty of men still find me attractive. Plenty of men like to look at me. Why don't YOU look at me the way THEY do?" Maybe she wants you to notice. Maybe she wants to see a little jealousy from you.

Maybe you should hold her hand, look at her, smile at her, interact with her, make it clear to all passers-by that you are a happy couple, instead of standing by quietly while she desperately tries to get your attention. Maybe, just maybe, that's what's going on here.
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Old 10-08-2008, 12:18 AM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,824,483 times
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maybe he should make a boom boom in his pants and cry ok not really

Quote:
Originally Posted by coleslaw View Post
Or maybe she is trying to get the OP's attention in a passive-aggressive manner. Perhaps she is saying, "See, DH, plenty of men still find me attractive. Plenty of men like to look at me. Why don't YOU look at me the way THEY do?" Maybe she wants you to notice. Maybe she wants to see a little jealousy from you.

Maybe you should hold her hand, look at her, smile at her, interact with her, make it clear to all passers-by that you are a happy couple, instead of standing by quietly while she desperately tries to get your attention. Maybe, just maybe, that's what's going on here.
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Old 10-08-2008, 05:06 AM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 21,271,302 times
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You also have to be aware that there are some men out there that get the wrong signal. To some men direct eye contact from a woman while being with her man may mean she is one of the "flirty/easy" kind and would make her a target. A friend of mine's girlfriend was the same way, one day they were at a restaurant and she made direct eye contact with some guy and he actually had the guts to go to their table and talk to her like if he wasn't there.
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Old 10-08-2008, 05:28 AM
 
Location: NJ
23,800 posts, read 33,287,564 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theroadlesstravelled View Post
What I find peculiar is that she often makes eye contact, mostly with other men her age or younger it seems (I haven't noticed it with females or senior citizens). By this I mean she actually makes eye contact with guys that she's passing by in the store or mall, and they guys usually seem to notice, because sometimes one will actually say hi to her or at least they exchange smiles. She says she's just being friendly as she doesn't know these guys.
I'm the opposite. I people watch, strike up conversations with everyone but guys. About the only time I'll talk to a guy is if they have a kid with them, and I've already started talking to the kid. I was in the cold cut line a few weeks ago, there was a 3 or 4 year old boy that was very tired but he was really good. I started talking to him, saying how good he was. His father (overweight, very not my type) then said a few things, next thing I know the wife was walking up.


Quote:
Originally Posted by theroadlesstravelled View Post
I think most people try to avoid eye contact with strangers, especially married women with strange men, but maybe I'm wrong. Is this just a form of innocent flirting? I mean they're not striking up a conversation or exchanging phone numbers (at least when I'm there ). On the other hand I feel a little put out. It's like she's out with me but happens to notice them. I think most men view a women making eye contact with them as a form of interest or flirting but she disagrees. Is this normal or typical and nothing to worry about, or is it something I should be concerned about?
I wonder if she does it without realizing it or if she's doing as was mentioned here:

Quote:
Originally Posted by coleslaw View Post
Or maybe she is trying to get the OP's attention in a passive-aggressive manner. Perhaps she is saying, "See, DH, plenty of men still find me attractive. Plenty of men like to look at me. Why don't YOU look at me the way THEY do?" Maybe she wants you to notice. Maybe she wants to see a little jealousy from you.

Maybe you should hold her hand, look at her, smile at her, interact with her, make it clear to all passers-by that you are a happy couple, instead of standing by quietly while she desperately tries to get your attention. Maybe, just maybe, that's what's going on here.
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Old 10-08-2008, 07:04 AM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,077 posts, read 14,608,983 times
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I have to agree with some of the latter posts. If you are just people watching you dont make direct eye contact. The funny thing is that most of the time, you have to work a little to get the direct eye contact. People don't just automatically do that because a lot of people aren't comfortable with direct eye contact. It's one of my pet peeves, if I'm talking to you, I want you to look me in the eye. If I'm just people watching and if I were single, I'd then purposely make eye contact to get that persons attention. I'm not saying, "oh my god your wife is trying to cheat on you" but if you are noticing that she'd making direct eye contact and getting a reaction out of some of these men, it's more of a flirtation thing.
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Old 10-08-2008, 07:58 AM
 
Location: West Texas
2,449 posts, read 5,932,893 times
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To me, it's the same as a guy turning around to look at an attractive (or even unattractive) woman that walked by when he's with his girlfriend/wife - disrespectful to the person you're with. It's normal to see someone attractive and look for more than a glance, but it's another completely to gawk. Since many women are generally more discreet when checking out guys than guys checking out women, I think what the OP's wife is doing is direct, aggressive flirting.

It does play into the OPs insecurity, but I think everyone has them to some extent. To me, if he's brought it up to his wife, then she has to be aware that it's not accusing her so much as it makes him feel more insecure to an extent. It's something they both need to address. However, if he already has, and she's not doing anything about his concerns, maybe he ought to turn the tables... do a little overt flirting himself. If she get's mad, hopefully it's "lesson learned." If she doesn't care, it may be indicative of a larger problem in their relationship?
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