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Old 10-07-2008, 10:56 PM
 
697 posts, read 2,009,780 times
Reputation: 382

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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
How is she too needy and immature? I think it is the other way around.

He showed interested in her in the first place and she is being a mature adult trying to reconnect and be friends or get some closure on the situation . I don't see anything wrong with that. The guy blowing her off is too immature/too lazy to have a conversation. Clearly there wasn't good communication to begin with, so you need to be sure to have good, direct, and open communication with guys in the future.

The OP needs to move on. Forget the guy, at age 23 guys are incredibly immature and believe me they will strut their stuff and act like they know it all. So just move on and find a real relationship not a fling.
It's obvious who has moved on here. And what closure? There was no relationship. Some flirting and petting don't really call for closure since they don't qualify as a relationship.

Maybe he's just plain not interested and doesn't feel a need to explain himself since they weren't involved.
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Old 10-07-2008, 11:14 PM
 
13,783 posts, read 26,194,154 times
Reputation: 7445
Why does it matter if he has blown you off?? Leave the guy alone and let him get on with his studies...
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Old 10-07-2008, 11:19 PM
 
17 posts, read 56,168 times
Reputation: 10
It seems as if some of you are missing the point. I have accepted his answer/excuse. All I'm asking why he doesn't want to be friends. I am friends with all the guys I've dated and had long term relationships with, I don't hold any grudges because that's being immature.

For the above post, we did have a relationship (friendship) maybe not an intimate one but we liked and enjoyed each others company. And I guarantee you he was interested in me, as I stated in my first post he initiated everything.
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Old 10-07-2008, 11:27 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,762 posts, read 40,025,663 times
Reputation: 18060
Quote:
Originally Posted by zippogurl View Post
I met this guy who was 19 and now 23, I'm 30 and we began making out and touching each other but never went all the way. He initiated all the advances, I just went along because I thought he was cute. We were supposed to get together and have sex but somehow neither one of us called to confirm and ever since then I haven't heard from him. I have called and left a voice message but he never called. Then I saw him 2 weeks ago and I didn't stop my car to say hello because he was playing this sport and I didn't want to bother him, but he did see me. Then I see him today, this time I was playing this sport and he saw me and didn't say hello and left somewhere on a bicycle, but his brother and friend came in.

I didn't want a serious relationship with him just wanted a fling and I sort of mentioned that to him.

I sent him a text message saying:
Hi, please call me I want to talk to you

He wrote: Sorry Mary don’t take it personal but im focusing on my studies. I don’t want to lead you on to anything that im not ready for.

I wrote: Thanks for responding i just wanted to know what happened that day and you answered my question im sorry if I was aggressive toward you that was not my intention i hope we can remain friends well happy studying

I'm wondering if he is mad at me, because usually if a person is pissed he would ignore that and if he wasn't he would've came in the courts and said hello, am I wrong in thinking this? I'm just wondering what everyone's opinion is.

Thanks!.
I see nothing in your past encounters with him that would indicate that either of you were headed towards a friendship. All you have is a history of flirtation and minor sexual advances. You thought he was cute, you're not interested in whatever sport he does, you don't mention ever having any deep conversations with him. There is no friendship, only a passing casual acquaintance based on physical attraction. At your age, you should know the difference between a real friendship and a casual acquaintance.

It sounds like he got cold feet in having an affair with an older woman. Probably at his age, he doesn't even want his friends to know about you. Just leave him alone for now. Let him be the one to contact you next and in the meantime, move on to your next conquest.
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Old 10-07-2008, 11:36 PM
 
17 posts, read 56,168 times
Reputation: 10
Whoa, wait a minute miu. I had to re-read your comment, I do respect your opinion even though I don't agree with it. I've known him since he was 19. We do play the same sport (Tennis), that's how we met. We had many conversations about what his interests are, how he became a single father, his major in school.

Just for your information, I know his brother and his friends and he knows my best friend (male) and I have a funny feeling they gave him the okay to pursue me.
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Old 10-07-2008, 11:36 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,812,823 times
Reputation: 7058
That is insensitive and cold and a very junior high-esque statement. Some people bond through foreplay. We are people with sophisticated feelings not primitive dumb animals (ok well some men operate that way).

Quote:
Originally Posted by 925mine View Post
It's obvious who has moved on here. And what closure? There was no relationship. Some flirting and petting don't really call for closure since they don't qualify as a relationship.

Maybe he's just plain not interested and doesn't feel a need to explain himself since they weren't involved.
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Old 10-07-2008, 11:39 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,812,823 times
Reputation: 7058
He sounds like a commitment-phobe passive aggressive bozo. Move on. You also sound like you want to chill with the young, but you've clearly out grown that garbage.

Quote:
Originally Posted by zippogurl View Post
He does have quite a lot of issues that I can't ignore. I spoke to him before we made a date to meet he said he hasn't had sex in over a year. I also told him when I was driving him home that I don't know what it is but there is something about him that I want, he said physically right? I just laughed it off.
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Old 10-07-2008, 11:43 PM
 
17 posts, read 56,168 times
Reputation: 10
Thanks Artsyguy. You actually made me feel better, not better per say, but less confused.
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Old 10-07-2008, 11:44 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,812,823 times
Reputation: 7058
There is more than meets the eye to people. I don't particularly like rejection without good reasons....lol.
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Old 10-07-2008, 11:50 PM
 
123 posts, read 350,644 times
Reputation: 98
to the OP, you must be a fan of Desperate Housewives.
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