Why doesn't he want to be friends? (dating, men, love)
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I met this guy who was 19 and now 23, I'm 30 and we began making out and touching each other but never went all the way. He initiated all the advances, I just went along because I thought he was cute. We were supposed to get together and have sex but somehow neither one of us called to confirm and ever since then I haven't heard from him. I have called and left a voice message but he never called. Then I saw him 2 weeks ago and I didn't stop my car to say hello because he was playing this sport and I didn't want to bother him, but he did see me. Then I see him today, this time I was playing this sport and he saw me and didn't say hello and left somewhere on a bicycle, but his brother and friend came in.
I didn't want a serious relationship with him just wanted a fling and I sort of mentioned that to him.
I sent him a text message saying:
Hi, please call me I want to talk to you
He wrote: Sorry Mary don’t take it personal but im focusing on my studies. I don’t want to lead you on to anything that im not ready for.
I wrote: Thanks for responding i just wanted to know what happened that day and you answered my question im sorry if I was aggressive toward you that was not my intention i hope we can remain friends well happy studying
I'm wondering if he is mad at me, because usually if a person is pissed he would ignore that and if he wasn't he would've came in the courts and said hello, am I wrong in thinking this? I'm just wondering what everyone's opinion is.
I met this guy who was 19 and now 23, I'm 30 and we began making out and touching each other but never went all the way. He initiated all the advances, I just went along because I thought he was cute. We were supposed to get together and have sex but somehow neither one of us called to confirm and ever since then I haven't heard from him. I have called and left a voice message but he never called. Then I saw him 2 weeks ago and I didn't stop my car to say hello because he was playing this sport and I didn't want to bother him, but he did see me. Then I see him today, this time I was playing this sport and he saw me and didn't say hello and left somewhere on a bicycle, but his brother and friend came in.
I didn't want a serious relationship with him just wanted a fling and I sort of mentioned that to him.
I sent him a text message saying:
Hi, please call me I want to talk to you
He wrote: Sorry Mary don’t take it personal but im focusing on my studies. I don’t want to lead you on to anything that im not ready for.
I wrote: Thanks for responding i just wanted to know what happened that day and you answered my question im sorry if I was aggressive toward you that was not my intention i hope we can remain friends well happy studying
I'm wondering if he is mad at me, because usually if a person is pissed he would ignore that and if he wasn't he would've came in the courts and said hello, am I wrong in thinking this? I'm just wondering what everyone's opinion is.
Thanks!.
Maybe he's not the kind of young man who believes in "flings". Maybe he is concentrating on his studies so that he can finish becoming a man to be ready for a real relationship one day. In other words, maybe he is just not as shallow as you are.
I just wanted to say that a lot of men that are in their late teens and early twenties are not really into relationships; however, I think the OP went away from this feeling used, lead on, and rejected. The OP probably wanted more than a fling but just isn't telling us that maybe she favored a relationship.
The OP needs to understand that younger men are usually very immature and do not know the dynamics of relationships. The OP needs to find somebody closer to his or her age and maturity level. It is called DATING.
I'm just giving the OP the benefit of the doubt.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
Maybe he's not the kind of young man who believes in "flings". Maybe he is concentrating on his studies so that he can finish becoming a man to be ready for a real relationship one day. In other words, maybe he is just not as shallow as you are.
Is that being sensitive and sympathetic to the OP's issue or is that an attack?
I don't attack people. I'm sorry if she would feel that I was. I'm just being insensitive for today ( I got sick: groan, *cough). Anyway, she should move on.
Why doesn't he want to be friends? You mean why doesn't he want to be friends with benefits. Maybe he decided you're too needy or immature. Or maybe he wants to focus on his studies.
Anybody who is 30 and on a forum asking this kind of question has to ask her/himself where their life is going, what you want out of it and what are your priorities.
He's on the young side, let him be 23 and enjoy himself with what he chooses.
How is she too needy and immature? I think it is the other way around.
He showed interested in her in the first place and she is being a mature adult trying to reconnect and be friends or get some closure on the situation . I don't see anything wrong with that. The guy blowing her off is too immature/too lazy to have a conversation. Clearly there wasn't good communication to begin with, so you need to be sure to have good, direct, and open communication with guys in the future.
The OP needs to move on. Forget the guy, at age 23 guys are incredibly immature and believe me they will strut their stuff and act like they know it all. So just move on and find a real relationship not a fling.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 925mine
Why doesn't he want to be friends? You mean why doesn't he want to be friends with benefits. Maybe he decided you're too needy or immature. Or maybe he wants to focus on his studies.
Anybody who is 30 and on a forum asking this kind of question has to ask her/himself where their life is going, what you want out of it and what are your priorities.
He's on the young side, let him be 23 and enjoy himself with what he chooses.
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