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To be fair if my DH didn't get invited to something because of something like that, I would have a proble with it too. You are asking for trouble IMHO.
Would you end a friendship because the bride wants no drama between her future husband (the groom of the wedding) and your husband, and the bride tries to do that by separating her future husband from your husband, which, in this case (since it's her wedding w/ her future husband), your husband probably should not be there anyways?
Look, I understand that a married person would want her spouse to be included as a wedding guest to the wedding she's attending. HOWEVER, if you KNOW that your husband is NOT wanted at your friend's wedding, why drag him to the wedding that he's not welcome?
Actually, you're right in the ballpark -- our wedding is going to be for about 20 people, MAX.
oh craap.
Hmm. That's a really tough one. I guess you could go with the 'no + 1' policy, but that would mean doing it for everyone.
Or you could sit down with your friend and explain that you now feel awkward with what has happened between your men, and that you don't want anything to be awkward on your wedding day. Ask her if she thinks he would mind not coming if this hasn't been resolved. Ask her advice and see what she says. At least that way you hopefully don't risk her flying off the handle.
When is the big day? Is there time to sort this out, or too late?
Would you end a friendship because the bride wants no drama between her future husband (the groom of the wedding) and your husband, and the bride tries to do that by separating her future husband from your husband, which, in this case (since it's her wedding w/ her future husband), your husband probably should not be there anyways?
Look, I understand that a married person would want her spouse to be included as a wedding guest to the wedding she's attending. HOWEVER, if you KNOW that your husband is NOT wanted at your friend's wedding, why drag him to the wedding that he's not welcome?
Would you end a friendship because the bride wants no drama between her future husband (the groom of the wedding) and your husband, and the bride tries to do that by separating her future husband from your husband, which, in this case (since it's her wedding w/ her future husband), your husband probably should not be there anyways?
Look, I understand that a married person would want her spouse to be included as a wedding guest to the wedding she's attending. HOWEVER, if you KNOW that your husband is NOT wanted at your friend's wedding, why drag him to the wedding that he's not welcome?
Oookay, I responded before I saw the yelling in this post. I think I will leave you to work this one out for yourself. Good luck with that.
Ooooooooooooooook, we're getting off topic here. Don't be too sensitive hun. I was not trying to yell at you (see, that's the problem with communications such as this: THIS CAN BE SEEN AS YELLING LOL!)
But here's my question:
Why would you want to invite your husband if you KNOW for sure that the groom (or the bride, or both) don't like your husband, therefore, your husband is not welcome?
I'm not particularly sensitive, just not interested in trying to help someone who flys of the handle and starts yelling and double posting.
But to answer your question... Because my first priority is my husband. Period.
Don't get me wrong, I can disagree with him and think he is flat out wrong, and occassionally take someone elses's side against his.
BUT in this case, she didn't hear the conversation so she has to either believe you, or him. It's a difficult position to be put in for her. It sounds like she has tried to brush it off, but frankly she made a significant error in judgement telling you her husband's thoughts on the matter at all. It could only upset you, and I wonder why she felt it necessary to let you know those things. I wouldn't tell a friend that my husband thought her husband was a racist unless I had a good reason for doing so. I wonder what hers is?
I would take a look at the other post I made, and go that route. Enlist her help with it, rather than issuing a directive. That may be the way to best smooth over the situation.
I'm not particularly sensitive, just not interested in trying to help someone who flys of the handle and starts yelling and double posting.
But to answer your question... Because my first priority is my husband. Period.
Don't get me wrong, I can disagree with him and think he is flat out wrong, and occassionally take someone elses's side against his.
BUT in this case, she didn't hear the conversation so she has to either believe you, or him. It's a difficult position to be put in for her. It sounds like she has tried to brush it off, but frankly she made a significant error in judgement telling you her husband's thoughts on the matter at all. It could only upset you, and I wonder why she felt it necessary to let you know those things. I wouldn't tell a friend that my husband thought her husband was a racist unless I had a good reason for doing so. I wonder what hers is?
I would take a look at the other post I made, and go that route. Enlist her help with it, rather than issuing a directive. That may be the way to best smooth over the situation.
To the question I bolded, my answer is: I have no idea either. Personally, I wouldn't tell ANYONE of what my future husband thinks of her husband AFTER ONLY meeting just ONE time. I mean come on, it's not really fair to judge a person just from one-time gathering, but I guess the phrase "first impression" really is a high value of her husband.
You are right in one thing that I think deep down she knows that her husband is insecure (which is probably why she tries to brush it off like it never happened), because this is NOT the FIRST time that her husband tried to put a wedge between her and others. Her kids have 2 sets of Godparents (4 Godparents total), and so far, they're only communicating w/ ONE Godparent, and pretty much ended her friendship w/ the other 3.
What do you mean when you say "enlist her help in it"? How?
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I have no idea either. Personally, I wouldn't tell ANYONE of what my future husband thinks of her husband AFTER ONLY meeting just ONE time. I mean come on, it's not really fair to judge a person just from one-time gathering, but I guess the phrase "first impression" really is a high value of her husband. 
