This is the attitude that turns me away from dating (marrying, guy)
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women never get it, don't they? Don't know why I have to point it out to women over and over again. Men don't look for career, car or so called "independence" from women, men do get intimidated by women, but no man is gonna be intimidated by your house, career or car. For unmature guys who don't look for early commitment, the only things that you have that might intimidate them are your boobs, your face and your butt, and that's assuming you are way out of his league and he has a normal sense of self-awareness. For mature guys, they will look for your personality, your values, you emotional maturity, compatibility of interests, education and of course, how hot you are. They are not looking for your car or your house, they are certainly not gonna assume you are out of their league because you went to college or have a job.
Where these guys because I can't find them. It would be nice to meet a guy who isn't looking for a woman who can double their income.
Where these guys because I can't find them. It would be nice to meet a guy who isn't looking for a woman who can double their income.
Is that a phenomenon to the area you are currently living? Meaning in high cost of living areas guys are hot for gals with houses\cars etc?
My last date however expressed the same sentiment that she meets too many guys that pretty much are nearly destitute. She was making a joke about guys that still have milk-crates as part of their furniture decor when we pulled up at my place. I asked if she wanted to see my milk-crate collection. (Which made her laugh as I live in a fairly nice neighborhood.)
Just because I've hinted around, and even have been as straight forward as a person could ever be, in my pursuit of you, doesn't mean that I am going to ask you out.
Because I want you to ask me!
Just because, like the woman who posted, I have a career, a house, a car etc. doesn't mean that I don't need you.
Because I do!
Different people make different choices in their lives. I thought I was making the right choices. However, it has been brought to my attention by men, more times than I can count, that I am intimidating to men, all because of the choices I made and the hard work I have done to acquire such things as a car, a house and a career.
I say bull****.
And here is why.
I could have decided not to go to college. I could have decided to remain in a crappy apartment with 3 roommates. I could have decided, or acted with stupidity, to get myself knocked up in my 20s and have kids running around me today. I could have decided to rely only on public transportation or my bicycle. I could have decided to keep my $7.50/hour job at the corner record store or 7-11.
But I didn't. Because what kind of life would this have been? What kind of opportunities and life experiences would this have provided?
Instead, I kept myself and my life on track. I went to college, didn't get pregnant, bought a car, bought a house, made a career, and enjoyed many other life experiences, all in the hopes of two things.
1. So that I could provide for myself during my single years.
2. So that I could be a good life partner for a man in my future.
There is something important I want you to understand and that is this:
As a woman, we understand the pressures that men have on them, from society, from their innate being, to provide for the female. However, as we women age, and we have yet to find that one man we love with all of our hearts, who loves us with all of his heart, we must learn to provide for ourselves. What other choice do we have? [see above]
Some of us women see it as very unattractive to not have our **** together by a certain age. We don't want men to think we are just sitting around, doing nothing with our lives and not bettering ourselves, while we wait for one man to come scoop us up and save us. Could there be anything more unattractive as that?
But this doesn't mean that I don't need you.
Because I do!
Stop being intimidated and revel in the fact that I have a lot more to offer you than had I been the girl at the corner 7-11. And by offer you, I do not necessarily mean things.
Because I've spent my time working hard to give myself a good life, it has given me the time and opportunity to expand the other parts of who I am as a person, as a woman. Meaning, I've got my emotional **** together too.
I want to be asked out. I need you. More than you will ever know.
It is your heart, that I desire.
I'll be waiting.
For some reason, my impression is that this was written by a young man spoofing a young girl's thoughts. I don't think that a real woman wrote this post. I just don't.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ronaldl79
This is exactly why I don't participate in dating:
And if ronald79 is not interested in asking women out on dates, then he doesn't have to. But if you never ask, you probably are going to have a pretty quiet social life. Otherwise, try to get to know the woman as a friend first before asking her out on a date. Find a woman that you really click with, that sincerely enjoys your company and isn't going to play these mind games with you.
To get her point, take it to the extreme, and ask yourself, 'Would I want to be Mr. Britney Spears? Mr. Halle Berry? Mr. Jessica Alba? Ok, I'd have to give it some real consideration as well, given the obvious recreational perks. But most guys myself included, wouldn't want to be in a long term relationship let alone a marriage where I was being kept. Most guys still have that ego thing, that breadwinner pride, so if whateever lady wrote that, let's say she lives in a small town, maybe one where there aren't a lot of economic opportunities, a factory town where 9 outta 10 male workers are blue collar, and she's one of the few of either sex that got an education and a gainful, white collar career, I can see how she'd have a rough time finding a guy in a town like that who could live with being Mr. (femalebigearnerX).
To get her point, take it to the extreme, and ask yourself, 'Would I want to be Mr. Britney Spears? Mr. Halle Berry? Mr. Jessica Alba? Ok, I'd have to give it some real consideration as well, given the obvious recreational perks. But most guys myself included, wouldn't want to be in a long term relationship let alone a marriage where I was being kept. Most guys still have that ego thing, that breadwinner pride, so if whateever lady wrote that, let's say she lives in a small town, maybe one where there aren't a lot of economic opportunities, a factory town where 9 outta 10 male workers are blue collar, and she's one of the few of either sex that got an education and a gainful, white collar career, I can see how she'd have a rough time finding a guy in a town like that who could live with being Mr. (femalebigearnerX).
I didn't see the snarky attitude that a couple of the guys seemed to see in the post. What I see is a woman who definitely wants a life partner but isn't willing to sit around and wait for the Cinderella fairytale to come knocking at her door. Without hearing a voice, it's hard to convey sincerity but I'm not detecting arrogance, either.
There are plenty of men who would appreciate a woman who they don't have to take to raise or do everything for. She sounds like a "Can Do" woman who wants to have the American Dream, but doesn't think it's smart to sit around, hoping Mr. Wonderful will come strolling up to take her away from her life of drudgery. This lady is the kind who would help you "Build" a life, not watch you build it for her.
This isn't 1950 anymore and ladies NEED to work and support themselves because most folks don't marry their high school sweetheart right after graduation. Many men do not want a wife who stays home like good ol' mom did because she can't contribute to the household income.
How are we going to afford that new truck and bass boat on one measly salary?
I didn't see the snarky attitude that a couple of the guys seemed to see in the post. What I see is a woman who definitely wants a life partner but isn't willing to sit around and wait for the Cinderella fairytale to come knocking at her door. Without hearing a voice, it's hard to convey sincerity but I'm not detecting arrogance, either.
There are plenty of men who would appreciate a woman who they don't have to take to raise or do everything for. She sounds like a "Can Do" woman who wants to have the American Dream, but doesn't think it's smart to sit around, hoping Mr. Wonderful will come strolling up to take her away from her life of drudgery. This lady is the kind who would help you "Build" a life, not watch you build it for her.
This isn't 1950 anymore and ladies NEED to work and support themselves because most folks don't marry their high school sweetheart right after graduation. Many men do not want a wife who stays home like good ol' mom did because she can't contribute to the household income.
How are we going to afford that new truck and bass boat on one measly salary?
Great post, I agree. And to all those guys who posted the other point of view I have a question for you...
Would you advise your daughter if you have one or ever do, to sit around and wait for Prince Charming to come an rescue her? Knowing what jerks guys can be, remembering what jerks most of us were at least at times in our dating lives?
Soo, because of that crazy quote the OP decides to give up on dating because he thinks that all women think that way. Wow. And he didn't even bother to prove that wrong himself.
Why is it that guys tend to try to overstep the "being friends" part to be the boyfriend?
I'll never know.
I don't know why she is ranting about it but seems like she did alright for herself as far as direction.I don't know why men would be intimidated by her having "things".Most men care less about a woman's bank account and are more concerned about what she will do sexually for him and not bombard him with any emotional,financial or otherwise henpecking baggage,though some men take that as part of the deal.
The only guy that cares about a woman having money and a house is a moucher who figuires getting her dick whooped will land him the easy life.I had a guitar player in one of my bands like that.He dated strippers almost exclusively who basically supported him,he never kept a job too long,the only thing he was dependable for was the band though.
Soo, because of that crazy quote the OP decides to give up on dating because he thinks that all women think that way. Wow. And he didn't even bother to prove that wrong himself.
Why is it that guys tend to try to overstep the "being friends" part to be the boyfriend? I'll never know.
Right, a lot of women don't know, and I'll just tell you that men (the ones that haven't been around) see it as the shortest distance between points A. and B.
The age-old battle of the sexes is that men want sex and women want romance. Yeah, I know that women want sex too and more and more of them have given up on the 'romance' thing to the point that now all they want is 'sex' too. But, for all you guys out there, when I was still running around what I found was once you become a woman's friend if there's any sexual attraction, when you least expect it, it will be handed to you. And if not, at least you have another friend, not so much wrong with that.
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