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Ok, so I've been in a long-distance relationship for almost four years now. I am completely in love with my boyfriend and would do anything to make this relationship work. The only issue that we've ever had in our relationship was the distance. He and I had planned for four years that he was going to move to MD and we would start a life together and then about three weeks ago he decided that he didn't want to move, and the distance was starting to get to him, but he doesn't want to end our relationship. I had begun noticing that we saw less and less of each other, but continued to speak to each other everyday. I don't have the "women's intuition" that he is seeing someone else (and I really don't feel that is the case). Initially I was hurt, then angy and then I moved into action and said, "you know what...I'll move!"
Well, he came to visit me in MD and we had a wonderful time, he actually said that he was feeling much better and didn't know what was wrong with him. In speaking to one of his best friends (who happens to live here) he indicated that he does love me, wants to be with me and knows that he is acting like a jerk. Well, when he went back home several days later, he was back in a funk and back to not knowing what he wants again. Is that normal? I mean at first I thought he was going through the "Oh my goodness I'm about to be 30" phase but he insists that is not the case. I have asked several times if we should end this relationship and he doesn't want that to happen. He has even made plans with my mother to go on a cruise...what in the world could this man be going through? He tells me one thing and then tells my family and his friends something completely different!! What do you think? HELP!
Maybe he doesn't want to leave the security of his job and of familiar surroundings to be where YOU are...and not sure if he wants to give up his independent lifestyle either.
In contradiction to the other posters, I wouldn't think that there HAS to be "another woman". He knows what he was and where he is...that's comforting.
Thanks for the post Chey2U. You are right, we never really know what is going on in a man's head. They are truly complicated creatures (yet simple at the same time).
Did you hear about the man who finally figured out women? He died laughing!
My wife and I were married 6 years living 70 miles apart. That was because of jobs and family. I have now retired and moved down to her town where we have bought a house. I must have done something right because we've been together since February and so far the dog is the only one in the dog house! lol The reason our marriage lasted 6 years without us being together was because we wanted it to. No relationship, either across country, in another close by state, 70 miles apart, or even next door will work unless both people believe in each other and want it to work!
Sounds to me like somebody is telling you what you want to hear while he's at your place. When he is with you he's all for it. Goes home, where he knows people, all his friends are, he changes his mind. I think he's just trying to string a good thing along while he can. You should surprise him some weekend with an unannounced visit. Sit down on his home turf and hash it out.
Well if you want to look at the pessimistic side of things, I could see how you could say that . There are a lot of couples that are in long distance relationships and it works. In my opinion you would have to be a very emotionally strong individual to be in a long-distance relationship.
My brother and his wife were seperated for 4 years during university (they met and fell in love during high school though they went to different high schools and there was a 2 year age difference). The seperation was rough on them but they got through it and a few years after they'd both graduated they got married. They've now been married over 20 years. You wouldn't know it to look at them though. They're so in love and so lovey-dovey you would think that they just met and fell deeply and intensely in love. They are true soulmates.
You never know. Try talking to your man and ask what he really wants. If you're willing to move tell him you're ready, willing and able. If he acts weird, ask why. Open the lines of communication.
I am in a long distance relationship for 3 yrs (and 1 year steady). We spent ten great days at thanksgiving meeting his family he meeting some of mine. After I left, I was not invited for Xmas, New Years, Miss my birthday and redeem himself for Valentine Day. Do not answer my texts and we are starting to get on each other nerves after I decided to move back to Florida from PA. He is in North Carolina. I just don't trust a man that worms out of the biggest holidays with not even a whimper.
Meet a guy who told me that he was so disappointed after he meet me that he couldn't date me in California where he lived. When we were one year into the relatiionship I offered to move there and he waffled. Ten years later we are still just friends. Love to text the same messages. Love to see you (Roll in the hay). Hope you doing well (Come to see me) and Flowers occasionally (Keep you straight). Distance yourself and move somewhere where he can chase you or he will declared his love.
Ok, so I've been in a long-distance relationship for almost four years now. I am completely in love with my boyfriend and would do anything to make this relationship work.
If this is true, please explain to me why you did not move to Maryland 4 years ago? I am not suggesting that you should live with him. I am suggesting that if you love this man so much, you should have moved CLOSER to him a very long time ago.
1. Not on the same page with the relationship
2. never met his family and friends
3. Not his date at major events
4. Did you commit as girlfirend. Did he asked you to go steady even at 50 it is done
5. never calls on weekends
6. introduce you as your name or a friend
7.You never seen his plce
8.last minutes changes freak his out
9.You are restricted to non-prime time hours for date night
10. He is worming at future talk
11. Hot to see you and Cold when you leave.
I'm curious about how much extended time you've spent together over those four years. When you see each other for only weekends or a week here and there, the excitement and anticipation is more acute and fantasy plays more of a role in the relationship than reality. The reality of being physically in each other's company on a full time basis is very often a big eye opener.
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