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Old 10-10-2008, 07:46 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,576,328 times
Reputation: 24104

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Ok. Lets hear the good and the bad....from the smokers..being married too, or not, from their partner.
Is it an issue for you, in your relationship?
I am unfortunetly, a smoker. :-( Not something I am proud of, but I am.)
My husband, is a non-smoker. He doesn`t say much, but I know he don`t like it. What non-smoker does, right?
If they knew they were a smoker though, before you married, what gives them the right to ...b----...(complain)
now?

Last edited by yankeegirl313; 10-10-2008 at 08:01 PM..
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Old 10-10-2008, 07:56 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,576,328 times
Reputation: 24104
Yeah.....health reasons, bla bla bla....right???
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Old 10-10-2008, 07:57 PM
 
Location: Orlando
8,176 posts, read 18,471,711 times
Reputation: 49863
I just quit in January but my husband didn't smoke.
He tried the 1st few years to get me to quit but then just gave up.
I knew never to ask him to buy me cigarettes cuz I knew he wouldn't.
He hated smoke while he ate. That was no big deal for me.

When I finally quit he was extremely happy.

Last edited by Granny Sue; 10-10-2008 at 08:27 PM..
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Old 10-10-2008, 08:07 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, Az
461 posts, read 1,446,160 times
Reputation: 337
Thank God my husband doesn't smoke, but I lived with a smoker for several years. I hated always smelling like smoke and the disgusting film it left all over everything and listening to him cough up a lung every morning. One day I took a clorox clean up wipe and ran it over the kitchen cupboard to show him the gross brown film his smoking is leaving around (he never set foot in the kitchen either) imagine what his lungs are like
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Old 10-10-2008, 08:10 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,758 posts, read 40,008,193 times
Reputation: 18033
I'm a non-smoker that dated a smoker for several years. My parents are smokers, so I thought I could deal with it. My ex tried to quite a few times for me but failed. He sometimes he also said that he needed my help to stop smoking, but from what I'd heard from other smokers that successfully quit, it's something that only the smoker can do.

He was 2-3 years older than me, and I just couldn't understand how he could be so stupid to start smoking in the first place. So over time, I grew to respect him less for being a smoker. Even as a child, I knew that smoking was a stupid habit. So he should have known better. With my parents, I wasn't happy with their smoking habits, but they come from a generation that didn't know any better.

Anyway, I hated the cigarette smoke smell on my clothes. I was tired of kissing an ashtray. I also was concerned about the health issues regarding growing old with a smoker. I will never date a smoker ever again. Right now, none of my close friends smoke.
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Old 10-10-2008, 08:42 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
754 posts, read 1,445,212 times
Reputation: 710
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
If they knew they were a smoker though, before you married, what gives them the right to ...b----...(complain)
now?
I'm a smoker (haven't had a cigarette since Aug 18th), but my fiance isn't. Even though on some level I knew I needed to quit, if he had ever said one thing about it, I would've have left him immediately. Why? Because if I accept him as he is, then he doesn't have the right to change anything about me. So if you date someone and they were smoking before you met them, you have no right to demand they quit. They're grown, and if they want to they'll smoke. The only thing they may end up quitting is you.

I really don't care how disgusting you think it is, if that person was a smoker when you met them you have no right to try and change them. If/when a smoker quits, it will be on their own terms. If it isn't and they try to quit for someone, they just end up smoking again, because you can't quit an addition for anyone other than yourself. That's why I say, accept it or move on.
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Old 10-10-2008, 08:54 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 87,912,088 times
Reputation: 22814
Did you have to set me off on a Fri night, yankee?! And did you have to divide our wonderful peaceful lil' nest along another major line?! We were just getting ready to have a group hug!

Sooo... as most of you know, I'm a smoker, a hard-core smoker. Ex-ex wasn't gonna have a problem with it if it weren't for the step-monster. Don't have any fond memories of becoming an icicle on cold nights outside. Ex was a long-time ex-smoker (20 years) who didn't even allow his father to smoke in his house. Guess what? Not only did he allow that for me, but he joined me for a while (ya know... those cloud 9 days after which people revert to themselves )... Down the line it started "bothering" him all of a sudden...

I bought a house recently. To be honest, buying a condo or a townhouse was gonna be better for me size-wise, maintenance-wise, lifestyle-wise, and was gonna put less financial strain on me, but here comes the BUT! The Nazis already took over the hotels, they're trying to move to apartment complexes, to cars with children in them, and there was already a precedent somewhere with a condo. Sooo... said sierra to herself... that ain't gonna happen! I'm getting a SFR! My home will remain my last castle and I better secure it - it almost already is, short of the car.

Now, if I am to ever live with somebody again, I might compromise on news noise pollution, I might compromise on football/soccer noise pollution, I might compromise on (one) cat pollution (I have before), I might even let onions and garlic enter my house, BUT my smokes are here to stay and whoever has a problem with them will have to look for greener pastures.
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Old 10-10-2008, 09:41 PM
 
211 posts, read 542,395 times
Reputation: 110
Because it is bad for you.!!! I know you know that already, and he loves you
im on my 12th day with no cigs. It can be done, just try it, not right this minute
but soon, when you feel ready. I have been using the commit lozengers and they work
but you have to want to not smoke, it isnt easy but worth it.
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Old 10-11-2008, 12:54 AM
 
14,727 posts, read 33,242,287 times
Reputation: 8949
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
I'm getting a SFR!
From the MLS, no less, right?

About smoking: it's that it would wipe out the new car and new furniture smell in no time.
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Old 10-11-2008, 01:02 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 87,912,088 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
About smoking: it's that it would wipe out the new car and new furniture smell in no time.
That's OK. It's my nose.
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