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Old 10-11-2008, 07:08 PM
 
Location: Ottawa, Canada
609 posts, read 1,170,150 times
Reputation: 173

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its always good to hear baout relationships, even the bad side, so i thought it would be good to start this so people can talk about thier stories and reallly "get it all out"

i refer to the peoples names jsut by a first letter cause..cause i do so..... i actually plan to write a book. the events in it and crap are so hollywood when you live through them its scary... but i digest....

it all started in febuary last year when i did an exchange to france. within the first week i hooked up with a girl "J" and we instantly started going out. despite the fact that her best friend was my frnech exchange student and he was madly in love with her. but she didnt like him liek that. So form the begining she was a wild stallion. she had 2 other bf's and she broke up with them to go out with me (well i said break up with them or this will be over before it even began) anyways we went out for the remainder of the 3 months (length of my exchange), hapily, and jutt before leaving I said I would come back. she was clearly more sad than me, and quite frankly i had no clue if i was coming back.

back in canada I sat around going nothing for awhile until i finally found the motivation to work (i didn thave school because the exchange ended in may). finally I got a job and started earning money. during this time i rarely talked to J, and I was really unsure about my true intentions on returning. finally it was decided that I would return after I had a huge fight with my family and felt that the only one who truly cared...was accross the sea in france...and so it was decided that I would go for the entire month of july. during this time I smoked alot of weed. this caused me to be slightly messed up (combined for my longing to see J) and I started a doomed attempt at selling weed. Immediatly after it all came tumbling down and my parents found out. I worked landscaping + lawn maintenance for rich people (im only a teenager and at the time i was 17) and while working my dad called me and said "THERE IS NO F****** WAY YOU ARE GOING TO FRANCE" i was litterally sobbing like a little girl while riding a lawn tractor cutting some millionaires lawn. Also before I elft, i cheated (had sex) with a friend but didnt tell J right away. I was almsot sure that i would visit this time and it would be over....oh how i was wrong

Anyways i went to france and spent the first 2 weeks in barcelona, spain. it was fun and we enjoyed alot of hash smoking. during this time we grew closer and i truly started to feel that i might "love her". i left again and went back to school in Canada. it was tough but this time me and J called eachother all the time and me going to study there or at least visiting again was a real possibilty. i was in gr 12 and it was my last year. it was in october that i finally told J that i cheated, and she was devestated. almsot never tlaked to me and the story almost ended immediately there....but it didnt.....the reason I told her then? because i cheated with another girl (no sex jsut other stuff) and this was my way of telling her about both (even though i only mentioned the sex) i was deeply devestated as well and yet agian.. continued the trend of crying like a little baby, this time on the phone... we got over it, and my next visit for christmas was planned!!


christmas was amazing because it was well christmas.. but also J's birthday. we had an excellent time and it onyl helped to confirm the steps to studying in france for real.... it was here however.. that i had many doubts. in canada when my exchange student was there, my friend 9the one i cheated on J with) also had an exchange student M. me and M went out and was the first person i had sex with, but i broke it off because of the terrible expirience and my overall depression caused my weed... during this time i was constantly unsure, lacked confidence but still continued....

i returned to canada and now J's trip to canada to meet my family was planed for april for 1 month. this way my family could meet the perosn I was going to another country for... during this time... ic heated. not really. one kiss, and when i got home i called J instantly and told her we had to break up because I was such a bad person and i couldnt be trusted (incase you lost count, this is the 3rd time i cried like a baby). she said it ws ok once i told her what happened and said she was so scared of losing me (because i only told her we ahve to end now and didnt tell the reason till after).

she finally came in april and had a great time. my family loved her, she loved my family, and we were great. i was working like a horse but it was ok. we had a lovely holiday in tremblant and it was really fun. then she went back and the 2 month wait began for me moving to france. it was also the time of my graduation with major parties, drunkness and women........

this time i was controled! the funny thing is no one ever really learns form cheating? you feel like **** for abit, but then the urge comes back and you forget how ****ty you feel when you do it. its kinda cyclicle. but yeah this time, despite huge parties and situations tthat went soemthing like "soo im single... and ur single..." i was able to keep in control....

i went to france at the begining of my holiday so i could work with j's dad (which i didnt really work) and it started off as great. unfortunately i smoked a tonne of hash, and after the 1st month had a breakdown.. the sad thing about summer in france is nobody is there!! they all leave on vacation!!! so after about a month i was sad, deppressed, alone and lost. i missed my family, was only hanging out with J because everyone else was gone, and had second thoughts. It was during this time that returning to Canada was litterally seconds away and calling my parents to organize a plane ticket was something i contemplated for hours. things sorta balanced though as i went from one extreme to another. it was not just missing canada, but also my confusion about what to do with J. i was always looking so forward to comignt o france to be with her, that i overlooked the reality of how stupid moving to a country for one girl could be. it was in thsi time i questioned whether i liked her, what the hell i was doing and whether we were together out of habit or love. we stopped saying "i love you" but things began to return to normal..

i finally regained my grip on life and the new approach of "its a good expirience even if me and J dont work out" seemed to be working. my mini breakdown finally ended and i rebalanced myself again. although we stopped syaing "love you", we both agreed that we were 'good together" and "happy" even if we werent sure what love really was.

finally school started and with it came new friends, parties and girls. and this is where we come to the "present-time" in my little story and I can begin to refer to things as "last week". anyways. 2 weeks ago i met "A", a girl in my class, and she invited me to a party at her house. it was clear there was chemistry and when it was time to go home it was extremely awkward... after heading in the direction of home at 1 in the morning to "catch the alst tram" i called her and ran all the way back to see her. we sat for hours jsut talking and eventually it was decided that i would go back to her house to "sleep". unfortuntely her friend "s" was also there and she lied me too and was sleeping in the same room. somhow me and A ended up in the same bed and did some stuff (not sex).

i felt suprisingly numb to the whole thing, and not as guilty as before. me and A continued to hang out, and it wasnt until a week ago after me and J seemed to be drifting apart that we would "break-up kinda". Little did J know (which she soon found out after) it was because of a girl. me and this A had sex finally, but me and J were seperated. is till felt like crap. it was last night when J's friend saw me and A at the discoteque (club) and so she knew (she kinda always had a feeling though). it was also last ngiht i found otu from a friend J had cheated (not sex) on me while I ws gone with a guy i consider to be the scum of the earth. finally today me and J talked, and it was one big cry fest....... we talked and i admitted eveyrthing about me and the girl. we then ahd sex.... afterwards we kept tlaking, and despite the fact i was "seeing A" i felt strongly about getting back with J and that i truly did love her.. that when she told me she had sex too. with her best firends older brothers firend (hes 23 shes 19)> i felt betrayed, sickened and liek i was going to die. i know im a hypocryt, im sorry... but as soon as she told me i instantly got up and left her house.. the idea of someone else having sex with her made me want to die.

tongiht ive been torn between hate and love, betrayal of what ive done and what shes done. i feel so sickened by what she did.. i know i did the same.. worse..100x worse... im wierd.. what should i do....?

this was a short version of a longer story btw
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Old 10-11-2008, 07:28 PM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 21,257,501 times
Reputation: 5512
My story is TBA (not anytime soon).
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Old 10-11-2008, 07:44 PM
 
Location: Texas
2,437 posts, read 6,988,431 times
Reputation: 1809
Quote:
Originally Posted by leangk View Post
its always good to hear baout relationships, even the bad side, so i thought it would be good to start this so people can talk about thier stories and reallly "get it all out"

i refer to the peoples names jsut by a first letter cause..cause i do so..... i actually plan to write a book. the events in it and crap are so hollywood when you live through them its scary... but i digest....

it all started in febuary last year when i did an exchange to france. within the first week i hooked up with a girl "J" and we instantly started going out. despite the fact that her best friend was my frnech exchange student and he was madly in love with her. but she didnt like him liek that. So form the begining she was a wild stallion. she had 2 other bf's and she broke up with them to go out with me (well i said break up with them or this will be over before it even began) anyways we went out for the remainder of the 3 months (length of my exchange), hapily, and jutt before leaving I said I would come back. she was clearly more sad than me, and quite frankly i had no clue if i was coming back.

back in canada I sat around going nothing for awhile until i finally found the motivation to work (i didn thave school because the exchange ended in may). finally I got a job and started earning money. during this time i rarely talked to J, and I was really unsure about my true intentions on returning. finally it was decided that I would return after I had a huge fight with my family and felt that the only one who truly cared...was accross the sea in france...and so it was decided that I would go for the entire month of july. during this time I smoked alot of weed. this caused me to be slightly messed up (combined for my longing to see J) and I started a doomed attempt at selling weed. Immediatly after it all came tumbling down and my parents found out. I worked landscaping + lawn maintenance for rich people (im only a teenager and at the time i was 17) and while working my dad called me and said "THERE IS NO F****** WAY YOU ARE GOING TO FRANCE" i was litterally sobbing like a little girl while riding a lawn tractor cutting some millionaires lawn. Also before I elft, i cheated (had sex) with a friend but didnt tell J right away. I was almsot sure that i would visit this time and it would be over....oh how i was wrong

Anyways i went to france and spent the first 2 weeks in barcelona, spain. it was fun and we enjoyed alot of hash smoking. during this time we grew closer and i truly started to feel that i might "love her". i left again and went back to school in Canada. it was tough but this time me and J called eachother all the time and me going to study there or at least visiting again was a real possibilty. i was in gr 12 and it was my last year. it was in october that i finally told J that i cheated, and she was devestated. almsot never tlaked to me and the story almost ended immediately there....but it didnt.....the reason I told her then? because i cheated with another girl (no sex jsut other stuff) and this was my way of telling her about both (even though i only mentioned the sex) i was deeply devestated as well and yet agian.. continued the trend of crying like a little baby, this time on the phone... we got over it, and my next visit for christmas was planned!!


christmas was amazing because it was well christmas.. but also J's birthday. we had an excellent time and it onyl helped to confirm the steps to studying in france for real.... it was here however.. that i had many doubts. in canada when my exchange student was there, my friend 9the one i cheated on J with) also had an exchange student M. me and M went out and was the first person i had sex with, but i broke it off because of the terrible expirience and my overall depression caused my weed... during this time i was constantly unsure, lacked confidence but still continued....

i returned to canada and now J's trip to canada to meet my family was planed for april for 1 month. this way my family could meet the perosn I was going to another country for... during this time... ic heated. not really. one kiss, and when i got home i called J instantly and told her we had to break up because I was such a bad person and i couldnt be trusted (incase you lost count, this is the 3rd time i cried like a baby). she said it ws ok once i told her what happened and said she was so scared of losing me (because i only told her we ahve to end now and didnt tell the reason till after).

she finally came in april and had a great time. my family loved her, she loved my family, and we were great. i was working like a horse but it was ok. we had a lovely holiday in tremblant and it was really fun. then she went back and the 2 month wait began for me moving to france. it was also the time of my graduation with major parties, drunkness and women........

this time i was controled! the funny thing is no one ever really learns form cheating? you feel like **** for abit, but then the urge comes back and you forget how ****ty you feel when you do it. its kinda cyclicle. but yeah this time, despite huge parties and situations tthat went soemthing like "soo im single... and ur single..." i was able to keep in control....

i went to france at the begining of my holiday so i could work with j's dad (which i didnt really work) and it started off as great. unfortunately i smoked a tonne of hash, and after the 1st month had a breakdown.. the sad thing about summer in france is nobody is there!! they all leave on vacation!!! so after about a month i was sad, deppressed, alone and lost. i missed my family, was only hanging out with J because everyone else was gone, and had second thoughts. It was during this time that returning to Canada was litterally seconds away and calling my parents to organize a plane ticket was something i contemplated for hours. things sorta balanced though as i went from one extreme to another. it was not just missing canada, but also my confusion about what to do with J. i was always looking so forward to comignt o france to be with her, that i overlooked the reality of how stupid moving to a country for one girl could be. it was in thsi time i questioned whether i liked her, what the hell i was doing and whether we were together out of habit or love. we stopped saying "i love you" but things began to return to normal..

i finally regained my grip on life and the new approach of "its a good expirience even if me and J dont work out" seemed to be working. my mini breakdown finally ended and i rebalanced myself again. although we stopped syaing "love you", we both agreed that we were 'good together" and "happy" even if we werent sure what love really was.

finally school started and with it came new friends, parties and girls. and this is where we come to the "present-time" in my little story and I can begin to refer to things as "last week". anyways. 2 weeks ago i met "A", a girl in my class, and she invited me to a party at her house. it was clear there was chemistry and when it was time to go home it was extremely awkward... after heading in the direction of home at 1 in the morning to "catch the alst tram" i called her and ran all the way back to see her. we sat for hours jsut talking and eventually it was decided that i would go back to her house to "sleep". unfortuntely her friend "s" was also there and she lied me too and was sleeping in the same room. somhow me and A ended up in the same bed and did some stuff (not sex).

i felt suprisingly numb to the whole thing, and not as guilty as before. me and A continued to hang out, and it wasnt until a week ago after me and J seemed to be drifting apart that we would "break-up kinda". Little did J know (which she soon found out after) it was because of a girl. me and this A had sex finally, but me and J were seperated. is till felt like crap. it was last night when J's friend saw me and A at the discoteque (club) and so she knew (she kinda always had a feeling though). it was also last ngiht i found otu from a friend J had cheated (not sex) on me while I ws gone with a guy i consider to be the scum of the earth. finally today me and J talked, and it was one big cry fest....... we talked and i admitted eveyrthing about me and the girl. we then ahd sex.... afterwards we kept tlaking, and despite the fact i was "seeing A" i felt strongly about getting back with J and that i truly did love her.. that when she told me she had sex too. with her best firends older brothers firend (hes 23 shes 19)> i felt betrayed, sickened and liek i was going to die. i know im a hypocryt, im sorry... but as soon as she told me i instantly got up and left her house.. the idea of someone else having sex with her made me want to die.

tongiht ive been torn between hate and love, betrayal of what ive done and what shes done. i feel so sickened by what she did.. i know i did the same.. worse..100x worse... im wierd.. what should i do....?

this was a short version of a longer story btw

You should stop smoking weed and hash... go to college and brush up on some grammer skills. (stopping the weed smoking may actually help your grammer skills.) As for the girl.. you can not have your cake and eat it to.. who are you to judge someone if you did the same thing that she did? Seems to me you want us to tell you to drop her when you did the same thing?

I always say... karma has a way of biting you in the ass.. and you sir.. got your just rewards... now you need to decide if what you and her have done is going to be okay for your relationship to continue.. if you do not think you can forgive yourself and her for what you both have done.. then end it and get your crap together... if you are okay with it.. then deal with it one day at a time.
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Old 10-11-2008, 11:17 PM
 
Location: New York
431 posts, read 1,306,404 times
Reputation: 205
The grammer killed my brain. I couldn't get past the 4th paragraph. Don't write a book, please. But what I did pick up was you smoke too much damn weed.
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Old 10-12-2008, 07:12 AM
 
Location: Ottawa, Canada
609 posts, read 1,170,150 times
Reputation: 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by VoyagerMan View Post
The grammer killed my brain. I couldn't get past the 4th paragraph. Don't write a book, please. But what I did pick up was you smoke too much damn weed.
i dont really care, you try typing on a french keys board (alot of crap is different) non-stop for 30 minutes trying to remember every important thing that happened over the past year and 7 months.

the weed yes is too much. i ahvent smoked in awileish now which is good, but yeah the weed smoking was bad. anyone who says "it really isnt a drug" is wrong. maybe ill still write a book for me. luckily for me my life is intresting enough to write one about. going to a foreinge country for a girl and to study after wait a year and 8 months. actually out of the year and 8 months weve only been together ( me in france or her visiting canada) for 10 months. so the majority of the time we were even on the same continent. how about you try something like that and then telll me if its good enough for a book?
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Old 10-12-2008, 07:16 AM
 
Location: Ottawa, Canada
609 posts, read 1,170,150 times
Reputation: 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Man in SATX View Post
You should stop smoking weed and hash... go to college and brush up on some grammer skills. (stopping the weed smoking may actually help your grammer skills.) As for the girl.. you can not have your cake and eat it to.. who are you to judge someone if you did the same thing that she did? Seems to me you want us to tell you to drop her when you did the same thing?

I always say... karma has a way of biting you in the ass.. and you sir.. got your just rewards... now you need to decide if what you and her have done is going to be okay for your relationship to continue.. if you do not think you can forgive yourself and her for what you both have done.. then end it and get your crap together... if you are okay with it.. then deal with it one day at a time.
the weed and ahsh, agreed. go to college... i go to university.... thats like saying "why dont you quit your CEO job to work at mcdonalds"! ill get on that.

grammar? im studying english, literature, civilizations ect. the fact that is that places like here i write alot of the time without really thinking. alot of the time when i reread it it is even uncomprehensible to me.

i dont want anyoen to tlel me to drop her. i intended this palce as more of a monologue sorta thing, with abit of commentary. i saw her last night though, things are getting better.
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Old 10-12-2008, 09:49 AM
 
Location: syracuse ny
2,412 posts, read 5,070,236 times
Reputation: 2048
You could use an encounter group! You'll then find out millions of people have traveled abroad and had a tryst with a bff's significant other, and gotten involved in a bunch of Erika Cane type drama they feel would make the next great novel. The only problem is none of these people care about reading anybody elses crap and only think their story matters. And cannot figure out why the publishers keep turning down the next War and Peace. So they smoke a lot of pot, or drink too much and feel the whole world is out to get them.
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Old 10-12-2008, 10:13 AM
 
Location: syracuse ny
2,412 posts, read 5,070,236 times
Reputation: 2048
For instance I was dating lady A. Lady A had a roomate we'll call Lady B. Lady B arranged for the other to catch a ride to a meeting with her and her "advisor". Then lady B innocently brought up Lady A's latest love life, and her advisor took the bait and went off about how wrong the guy(me) was for lady A. Lady A was stressed that this was any concern of the advisor. But it had the desired effect of her breaking off a weekend with me. Guess who called me up and told me lady A couldn't make the weekend but she'd come? LADY B! And then when I saw lady A she explained what had happened in the car to me. And she was unaware lady B had then took the opertunity to go with me. The one lady and I have a friends with bennies thing, and I guess the other wanted in. But I did ask why lady A had broken the weekend with me and Lady B feigned ignorance. That's like HIGH LEVEL manipulation, don'tcha think? Like some sorta Hannible Lector type manipulation! But it goes on all the time! Probably learned from watching too much designing women, or soap operas.
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Old 10-12-2008, 10:26 AM
 
5,806 posts, read 11,821,445 times
Reputation: 4661
You want my sincere opinion, leangk?
I think you are a poor messed up kid, you should go back to CND and mend your relationships with your family.
And stop smoking pot and screwing around, go to the gym rather!
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Old 10-12-2008, 02:23 PM
 
Location: Ottawa, Canada
609 posts, read 1,170,150 times
Reputation: 173
hmm well it doesnt really matter what most of you say because... How many of you ahve done an exchange? quite afew? ok and fell in love ont eh exchange? abit less... and who worked there butt off to visit all the time? o wow even less huh?? oh k and what about finally went to the foreign country to study leaving behind all family, friends ect? not very many here huh? wait. what about found a "chambre chez l'habitant" its a room at someones house, but! that women happens to be extrmeely rich and her great great grandfather the former president of france? anyone??? anyone at all? come on? thats what i thought.

anyways the point is i gave my crappy story, i want to hear other peoples?
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