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Old 12-16-2009, 10:19 AM
 
Location: Kuwait City, Kuwait.
1,125 posts, read 2,187,423 times
Reputation: 1063

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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
What makes you think that? I heard of this thing call a marriage proposal where a man asks a woman to marry him. Shotgun wedding are pretty rare these days.
Jesus.

 
Old 12-16-2009, 10:39 AM
 
Location: 2nd state in the union...
2,382 posts, read 4,581,773 times
Reputation: 1616
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorrans View Post
I could have done it for 6 months, 1 year, 3 years, whatever. No problems. I wouldn't have whined and moaned about how hard it is to be a single parent. My friend is a single father with 2 daughters, I have never heard him whine how hard he has it or how much of a deadbeat mother his ex is. Never. Not once.

Many women that I've come across love playing the victim card.
Both men and women play the 'victim card' and you're right, not everyone whines about how hard it is to be a single parent. And some are just not vocal about it.

My point was that you cannot possibly judge how difficult being a parent really is from simply watching them for a short period of time. There's also something to be said for watching over a child versus actually being their parent. The mindset is completely different.
 
Old 12-16-2009, 10:45 AM
 
36,029 posts, read 30,551,132 times
Reputation: 32299
Quote:
Jesus.
Want to try again? 1 woman + 1 man = 1 marriage. No one can force you to marry. Want to explain how its women pushing for marriage and not men. It is usually the man that buys an engagement ring and asks the woman for her hand in marriage, no.
 
Old 12-16-2009, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Kuwait City, Kuwait.
1,125 posts, read 2,187,423 times
Reputation: 1063
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Want to try again? 1 woman + 1 man = 1 marriage. No one can force you to marry. Want to explain how its women pushing for marriage and not men. It is usually the man that buys an engagement ring and asks the woman for her hand in marriage, no.
Women are more eager and push for marriage than men. I've never said men have their arm twisted and forced with a gun to their head. We recently had a thread about a girl wanting to give her guy an ultimatum if he didn't want to marry her or summat. That's the type of stuff men have to face sometimes. My initial question was if marriage tends to be more positive for men than women, why are more women so eager to be married more than men are. Because it's rubbish that marriage is more positive for men than women.
 
Old 12-16-2009, 10:51 AM
 
Location: Kuwait City, Kuwait.
1,125 posts, read 2,187,423 times
Reputation: 1063
Quote:
Originally Posted by wigirl920 View Post
Both men and women play the 'victim card' and you're right, not everyone whines about how hard it is to be a single parent. And some are just not vocal about it.

My point was that you cannot possibly judge how difficult being a parent really is from simply watching them for a short period of time. There's also something to be said for watching over a child versus actually being their parent. The mindset is completely different.
You're partly right. My initial gripe was that Ivorytickler went on about her ex or summat having to do all his cooking, laundry etc on his own now as if it was such a huge deal. Men do that everyday + take care of their kids, and don't need women to do their domestic chores for them.
 
Old 12-16-2009, 10:53 AM
 
Location: 2nd state in the union...
2,382 posts, read 4,581,773 times
Reputation: 1616
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorrans View Post
You're partly right. My initial gripe was that Ivorytickler went on about her ex or summat having to do all his cooking, laundry etc on his own now as if it was such a huge deal. Men do that everyday + take care of their kids, and don't need women to do their domestic chores for them.
On that point, I wholeheartedly agree.
 
Old 12-16-2009, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Westchester County
1,223 posts, read 1,682,751 times
Reputation: 1235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jefetio View Post
You are contributing to the crumbling of their marriage, because every minute they spend blabbering to you is time they should spend speaking to their husbands. Why are they talking to you instead of their hubbies? Because you don't have an opinion. They don't have to face the "other side of the story" when they talk to you, they get someone who will validate every selfish thought and emotion they have.


Isn't that what a successful marriage is all about? As long as the guy tows the party line and "listens" and conforms to whatever his wife says or thinks and agrees unconditionally to it she is happy. Men are forever deamonized if thy don't jump through the "hoops" to make their wives happy, yet when they state what their needs are they are looked upon as either too "simple or beneath" the modern woman. Simply put if the man is giving then the woman needs to give back as well.
 
Old 12-16-2009, 07:56 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 35,429,028 times
Reputation: 14692
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorrans View Post
If that's the case then why is it women who are more in favour of marriage than men, and are pushing for marriage more than men?
There's the dream and there's the reality. They want to get married until they figure out that marriage really means they get most of the work. I think women fall in love with a romanticized version of marriaage that is so far from reality that it's a real slap in the face when they wake up and realize the dream never happened.
 
Old 12-16-2009, 07:59 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 35,429,028 times
Reputation: 14692
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorrans View Post
I could have done it for 6 months, 1 year, 3 years, whatever. No problems. I wouldn't have whined and moaned about how hard it is to be a single parent. My friend is a single father with 2 daughters, I have never heard him whine how hard he has it or how much of a deadbeat mother his ex is. Never. Not once.

Many women that I've come across love playing the victim card.
Look at stats. Mothers do twice as much housework as fathers and half again as much child care as men when both of them work. It's nearly twice as much child care if she doesn't work. On average, men don't pull their weight as parents. So, yeah, you'll hear more women complain about their dead beat exes than men. It has something to do with the division of child care being VERY unbalanced.
 
Old 12-16-2009, 08:04 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,289 posts, read 87,163,795 times
Reputation: 55550
per the OP
women dont always file first--- only in 75% of the cases.
they file first bek of self interest. for the same reason guys dont file, the laws do not favor him doing so, in cases where he is the primary earner, which is usually. this is not to say the guys were all fun to live with, im just saying that the women are the 1st ones to call it quits bek it is in their interests to do so. in the long run everybody loses in divorce. people in pain dont think long run.
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