Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 12-16-2009, 08:08 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,002,320 times
Reputation: 22814

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
women dont always file first--- only in 75% of the cases.
OK, Mrstewart, I said something, did I not...?!

If a venomous spider gets into somebody's house, I'm sure a full 100% of people will try to kill it as opposed to offering themselves to be bitten and killed.

Perhaps I should attach the paragraph above as a signature because unlike others I'd be too lazy to type it ad nauseam.

 
Old 12-17-2009, 10:05 AM
 
36,100 posts, read 30,596,879 times
Reputation: 32351
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorrans View Post
Women are more eager and push for marriage than men. I've never said men have their arm twisted and forced with a gun to their head. We recently had a thread about a girl wanting to give her guy an ultimatum if he didn't want to marry her or summat. That's the type of stuff men have to face sometimes. My initial question was if marriage tends to be more positive for men than women, why are more women so eager to be married more than men are. Because it's rubbish that marriage is more positive for men than women.
I can see this might be true for young women because society frowns on "living in sin" and having illigitimate children but it still does not make an arguement that it is because women benefit more from marriage. I still think most men benefit more. Question, if men do all the domestic chores before marriage, why do they stop once they marry?
 
Old 12-17-2009, 10:39 AM
 
Location: southern california
61,289 posts, read 87,195,928 times
Reputation: 55551
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
OK, Mrstewart, I said something, did I not...?!

If a venomous spider gets into somebody's house, I'm sure a full 100% of people will try to kill it as opposed to offering themselves to be bitten and killed.

Perhaps I should attach the paragraph above as a signature because unlike others I'd be too lazy to type it ad nauseam.
i hear you-- all creatures need their space.
its scary getting chased around the house with a shoe.
separate accomodations would be better.
i will reassess my position.



Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 12-17-2009 at 10:47 AM..
 
Old 04-25-2011, 06:01 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 35,440,837 times
Reputation: 14692
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorrans View Post
Wow. Big deal. I do all that on my own now. I don't need a woman to do my cooking and cleaning. In fact, I can cook and clean far better than many women. And I did all that when my cousin dropped her daughter with me when she was in hospital for 8 weeks - I juggled work and caring for her daughter at the same time. Tough, yes, but hardly the worlds hardest job.
My point is, simply, that his workload went up when we separate while mine went way down. Honestly, I didn't know what to do with all the free time I had. I hadn't had any since the kids were born. I got back into hobbies, started exercising, lost about 30 pounds (found most of them again when we got back together ), reconnected with friends....Honestly, I could have gotten used to that life in a hurry.

I'm aware that men are physically capable of cooking, child care and cleaning. They just don't seem to do it unless they are backed into a corner. They seem to prefer to leave it to women and under appreciate what the women in their lives do.

8 weeks doesn't compare to 8 years. Try it long term and get back to me.
 
Old 04-25-2011, 08:26 AM
 
Location: Westchester County
1,223 posts, read 1,683,387 times
Reputation: 1235
Quote:
Originally Posted by optiflex View Post
Here's a few more suggestions...

Instead of thinking big, think small.
Instead of occasionally buying her the big box of chocolate, make dinner!
Instead of the flowers, rub her feet.
Instead of the new whatever, take out the trash BEFORE SHE ASKS YOU TO FOR THE TENTH TIME.

Sadly the above reasons over time will lead to divorce. Men are very simple and content creatures of habit. To us we feel if it ain't broke don't fix it. Trouble is it gets broke long before we realize and often when we try to fix it its usually too late.

Last edited by SKP440; 04-25-2011 at 08:34 AM.. Reason: spelling
 
Old 04-25-2011, 10:10 AM
 
26,142 posts, read 31,119,370 times
Reputation: 27235
Moderator cut: Removed reference to deleted post.

First, the filing is simply the actual PAPERWORK, the person's name on it doesn't necessarily mean they are the one who initiated the divorce or wanted it. It is simply a task and there are only so many legal boxes to check off on that paperwork. A man could screw around forever, move out and live with his mistress and finally she goes and checks a box that says irreconcilable differences because in that state it was the only legal option available. She filed, but didn't initiated it. She simply completed a task no different than grocery shopping for the week. She may not have paid for the food, but she did the task of securing it.

Men don't need emotional support? Total BS. My parents divorced and my mother never remarried and barely dated, conversely my father remarried 3 times. When questioned why he did that and raised his own kids, including myself, not to be emotionally or financially needy on another person in that respect he simply said, "Well, some people need that and some people don't." It swings both ways and your head is in the sand up to your waist.

You've got a lot more homework to do, junior, before you pull this card out of your rear end and try to play it.

Last edited by JustJulia; 04-25-2011 at 03:43 PM..
 
Old 04-25-2011, 02:44 PM
 
112 posts, read 191,669 times
Reputation: 154
There is another angle here. Women have defined marriage. As mentioned earlier, they have Womens Studies where professors define the woman’s world and how it ought to be. Don’t fault women for doing this. They are exercising their right even if they are being narrow minded when doing it.

Men on the other hand are cowards. They are afraid of going against the prevailing wind at the dinner table. Their wives have convinced them to not discuss controversial issues at Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners and what is the right thing to say and what to avoid.

Men do not have a significant public forum where men’s views of how marriage ought to be is discussed and legitimized. Men’s shows are mostly a visual cornucopia of T&A or a violent thugfest and there is almost no intelligent discussion of men’s views. To do so would be politically incorrect and reported to a federal regulator.

TV is terrible. Despite being a man himself, even Doc. Phil is peddling Oprah’s pro-women pabulum. His wisdom on marriage and family boils down to this priceless gem, “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”. Well, there you have it in a nutshell, if you want to stay married, do what ever your wife wants no matter how asinine or self-centered her demand. Phil is getting rich betraying men. Way to go Phil!

Women want men to share parenting but have defined how children should be raised. Men’s opinions don’t matter. Yet, in my observation, the single dads I know have better adjusted and responsible children than single moms. Hands down. I know many great single moms but the average single dad I know outshines the average single mom by far. It is not even close.

Women have defined what constitutes good love making. They have alot of valuable information but they make it a judgment on men in general. I cannot in any way agree, that premature ejaculation is a disorder that needs medication or therapy, anymore than I can say a woman’s flat chest needs to be fixed with a boob job or that a woman should take drugs(don’t know if they exist or not) for a dry vagina. It is all stupid! Men and women need to talk about what they like and need and respond to those needs and find accommodation for those needs. Men should not allow their natural bodies be defined as defective anymore than women should allow men to define their bodies.

Women want men to share the household work and yet have defined how that work ought to be done. Men aren’t clean enough, they don’t cut up the lettuce for the salad the right way. Beans need to be washed before they are cut and not after.

Women, having convinced themselves that men don’t know how to properly do house work will go to great lengths to ensure their way is the only way something gets done. There should be no wonder why women feel their men don’t measure up.

Do women expect too much from marriage? At this point, I am definitely convinced that their irrational expectations are far more irrational than men’s irrational expectations.

So the number of women here who are saying that they were the ones who got sick of what their husbands were dishing them does not surprise me.

What does perplex me is why women get so excited about Kate and William and their “fairy tale” wedding. And yet, that shouldn’t surprise me because having defined marriage, the Kate and William extravaganza fits right into the absurd and outrageous views women have on marriage.

I can see the tabloids now, “Kate the Feminist Queen” and all the absurdity two diametrically opposed institutions (ancient monarchy and modern marriage) will no doubt create. The divorce will certainly spawn as much press as the wedding. The real question is, who will be the first to cheat? There is absolutely no question who will get blamed when the marriage fails. Anyone need to be told?

There are a lot of good women. There really are. But my goodness, there are most certainly, a lot of silly silly women that desperately need to grow up!
 
Old 04-25-2011, 03:53 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,593,756 times
Reputation: 42767
Quote:
Originally Posted by WireChief View Post
[i]n my observation, the single dads I know have better adjusted and responsible children than single moms. Hands down. I know many great single moms but the average single dad I know outshines the average single mom by far. It is not even close.
I didn't agree with a lot of what you posted, but rather than pick through it, I thought I would address this statement. It's interesting. I know more single dads than single moms, and while I know some great single moms, the single dads do a great job from what I can tell. I think I know the reason behind that--just a guess but it seems logical. Which is more common, a mother leaving a baby on the father's doorstep, or a dad walking out of a kid's life? Probably the latter. I think a father who strives for custody demonstrates that he wants to be with his child. I don't think you can make a parent take custody, so a non-aborting woman is left holding the bag.
 
Old 04-26-2011, 02:17 PM
 
5,126 posts, read 7,379,241 times
Reputation: 8396
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grainraiser View Post
I think for the most part men don't really ask for alot out of a marriage. For the most part we settle into a marriage while most women feel like it should keep growing. I can't say one is right and the other is wrong but those are the facts as I see it. In my divorce the wife filed. I was willing to try to work it out while she took the attitude "I have tried this and it's not what I thought it would be and I want to move on". I think men simple get comfortable with the way things are while women get bored and really want more.
Women will ask for changes and keep right on smiling as long as they have hope.

If their requests or complaints are not taken seriously over a long period of time, they will eventually give up hope and decide to get out.

This usually takes the man by surprise because his wife seemed so patient for so long. But once women see that things are hopeless, they don't want to waste another minute.

It's not that women want to get a divorce; it's that they don't want to be trapped in a not-so-great marriage.

A lot of the problem is that people marry people they were never compatible with. Compatibility is the biggest key to marriage I think. Otherwise, you have to work so hard at it that you're exhausted.
 
Old 04-26-2011, 02:17 PM
 
299 posts, read 1,130,421 times
Reputation: 427
Because men (if they can get away with it) will cheat and keep the wife around.. best of both worlds...(sorry, going off of experience)

Also, women tend to be more nurturers, so the men are less likely to want to give that up.

Meanwhile, I know women that say...

I am busting my a$$ with the kids, housework etc.. and all he does is come home in a bad mood and doesn't want to interact with me or them at all etc.

I have a friend going through this.. she said it would be no different at this point to just live alone.. at least she wouldnt' have to put up with his moodiness.

She is initiating the divorce.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:22 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top