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Old 04-10-2012, 10:22 AM
 
19,045 posts, read 25,133,730 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
Does this mean both spend equal time with the child(ren) and both split child support?
Liberty answered well enough. My friend has joint physical custody, although they're quite flexible with it depending on the needs of the kids. One caveat, my gf's ex-husband lives with his parents so they primarily take care of the kids when he has them. So, it's not expensive for him at all since he doesn't pay anything. But, for independent men who have joint, physical custody it's probably a more expensive option than CS (so I would imagine at least).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
If there is joint PHYSICAL custody, time is split evenly, so there is no exchange of child support money. I think the majority of people have joint custody, meaning each is involved and responsible for decision-making for the child, but the child primarily resides with one parent.

 
Old 04-10-2012, 10:26 AM
 
36,065 posts, read 30,560,927 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yzette View Post
The short answer is we get tired of men's hemming, hawing, and procrastination.

The long answer is that by the time we are ready to separate, we usually have already tried everything to get through to our husbands and keep the marriage going and have come to the conclusion that it's beyond hope, so we tend to want it over and done with so we can get on with our lives. For many women, it takes a LOT to get them to that point, and many will stick around far longer than they should, so by the time they're done, they are DONE.

A+. Correct answer.
 
Old 04-10-2012, 10:41 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,203 posts, read 84,076,500 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasper03 View Post
$150/ week for more than one child? $75/week for two kids or $50/week if it's three. OMG that ex-wife is a monster! The system really is broken. You can support a kid in the third world for 72cents...in the U.S, a dollar per day per child should do it.
LOL, so sad, but apparently too many fathers think this way, including my own ex.

Whenever I'd try to get him to pay the support, he'd say, "But I pay for her CELL PHONE." He'd gotten her a cell phone around the time we divorced so he could call her and not have to call my number. Fine. But how he managed to think that this could be in lieu of food, shelter, clothing, school expenses, etc., is still beyond me. When we divorced, the judge told him he had to pay $50 a week because he was unemployed. When he became employed, he still thought that $50 a week was good. He was making $65K and got a free apartment/utilities because he was a building super, but he thought he still only should pay $50 and that would be sufficient, and most of the time he couldn't come up with the $50, either. Yet he ate dinner at restaurants three or four times a week, drank at a bar every night, and took a few vacations each year. Eventually my daughter got smart enough to have him take her to the mall and buy clothing, lots of clothing. He would do that because you can put clothing at the mall on a credit card and pretend you didn't spend any money.

Eventually, I took him to court to get him to pay the correct amount. Between then and the time she turned 18, I therefore got almost exactly what the lawyer cost me to get that child support amount up to date. Waste of time.

He hasn't changed, either. She's in college. We agreed to give her an allowance each month for food. He lost his job (but got a good severance and moved in with his girlfriend) and called me last week to tell me he couldn't afford to give her food money because he will be living under a bridge soon. AND HE REMINDED ME THAT HE IS STILL PAYING FOR HER CELL PHONE, ROFL.

Then, he called her on Saturday to try to talk her out of Easter dinner with my family because he was taking his gf, her daughters, and her grandchildren to Medieval Times, a dinner theatre with a jousting show and whatnot, and he wanted her to go. This had to cost him hundreds of dollars--but he can no longer afford to kick in his share to buy her food when she's at college.

The good part about this is that after twelve years, I still have moments when my heart leaps for joy at the thought that I am not married to this doofus anymore. And I was one of those women who waited way too long to kick him to the curb and gave him too many chances to become a real husband and father.
 
Old 04-10-2012, 10:49 AM
 
6,538 posts, read 7,258,554 times
Reputation: 3805
Hhhmph, interesting. Thank you Liberty2011 and Braunwyn.
 
Old 04-10-2012, 10:55 AM
 
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Yes, women are the ones who normally initiate divorce because the men who they married are lazy, not good providers, abusive, etc. but women also initiate divorce when they are the villains too. For reasons such as them rather being with a guy who is better at sex, has more money, for the monetary benefits they can get from being married to a rich man, etc. Women divorce when they are victims, no doubt, but they also do when they are the villain and since they know the law will most likely be on their side, then why not?
 
Old 04-10-2012, 11:47 AM
 
36,065 posts, read 30,560,927 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
Yes, women are the ones who normally initiate divorce because the men who they married are lazy, not good providers, abusive, etc. but women also initiate divorce when they are the villains too. For reasons such as them rather being with a guy who is better at sex, has more money, for the monetary benefits they can get from being married to a rich man, etc. Women divorce when they are victims, no doubt, but they also do when they are the villain and since they know the law will most likely be on their side, then why not?
Yes, regardless of the reason the marriage went bad it is usually the woman that has to take the responsibility to legally end the contract. But the law does not take sides. Every state has, on record, a very defined set of guidelines and laws pertaining to divorce procedures.
 
Old 04-10-2012, 11:54 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,079,805 times
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I'm female, but my ex was the one who filed. He wanted the divorce and he was the cheater, so ultimately I felt like it was his responsibility to file, and yes to pay for it too. If he hadn't of done it, then I would have.

I think the reason women are usually the ones who file is because men procrastinate and are more willing to just let things ride. Kind of like when a guy treats a woman like dirt until she's forced to break up with him, so she becomes the "bad guy" even though the guy pretty much left her no other choice but be miserable or end things.
 
Old 04-10-2012, 12:03 PM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,203 posts, read 84,076,500 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
I'm female, but my ex was the one who filed. He wanted the divorce and he was the cheater, so ultimately I felt like it was his responsibility to file, and yes to pay for it too. If he hadn't of done it, then I would have.

I think the reason women are usually the ones who file is because men procrastinate and are more willing to just let things ride. Kind of like when a guy treats a woman like dirt until she's forced to break up with him, so she becomes the "bad guy" even though the guy pretty much left her no other choice but be miserable or end things.
What is bizarre is that such men often sit there feeling sorry for themselves and seem puzzled as to why their wives left them. Before the Internet, I read an article about a private detective agency in NYC that specialized in locating missing persons who were not thought to have been the victims of foul play, but people who had left their families or had not been heard from for a while.

The detective in the article said that men would come in and he would ask the basic questions to get his file started. Date of birth? "I don't know." Eye color? "I don't remember." Hair color? "Dishwater blonde." The guy said he wanted to ask them, "And you are wondering why your wife is gone?"

Last edited by Mightyqueen801; 04-10-2012 at 12:32 PM..
 
Old 04-10-2012, 12:44 PM
 
6,538 posts, read 7,258,554 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Yes, regardless of the reason the marriage went bad it is usually the woman that has to take the responsibility to legally end the contract. But the law does not take sides. Every state has, on record, a very defined set of guidelines and laws pertaining to divorce procedures.
Doesn't a woman who cheat still has the privilege to custody, child support, 50/50, alimony, etc.?
 
Old 04-10-2012, 12:56 PM
 
36,065 posts, read 30,560,927 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
Doesn't a woman who cheat still has the privilege to custody, child support, 50/50, alimony, etc.?
Dosent a man? I suggest you read some actual divorce law and procedure. When you find a statute that discriminates based on gender, post it and then we can discuss.
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