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Old 04-11-2012, 08:42 PM
 
19,045 posts, read 25,139,479 times
Reputation: 13485

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Quote:
Originally Posted by West of Encino View Post
You people always make assumptions on men in their educational and relationship status. So why can't humans make assumptions?
No, I don't make assumptions about education. I got the information from actual posts. You know this. Making an assumption about divorce status for people you have never spoken with, which is probably most on this forum since the whole site is pretty big, is nonsense.

 
Old 04-12-2012, 05:48 AM
 
37,478 posts, read 45,740,039 times
Reputation: 56980
Quote:
Originally Posted by West of Encino View Post
I doubt that. Most of the time, those people don't appreciate what men bring to the table. Most don't even like being married or tied down to one man.

It's actually men who want to make things work. They don't give up as easily compared to the others.
 
Old 04-12-2012, 06:50 AM
 
36,100 posts, read 30,596,879 times
Reputation: 32351
Quote:
Originally Posted by West of Encino View Post
Most of those people are in denial as to why they divorce. They will come up with any lame excuse as to why they do, covering up the fact that they really are divorcing for malicious reasons.
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
True. When all the different "escape hatches" weren't available, divorce was far less common. Sure, some people needed to get out of marriages (abuse, cheating, bad spending patterns) but at least the FRIVOLOUS ones didn't go through.
Quote:
Originally Posted by West of Encino View Post
That is true. There are also many cases in divorce courts where those people can make false accusations on domestic abuse, just to get their way.

Have either of you been married and divorced?
 
Old 04-12-2012, 07:13 AM
 
36,100 posts, read 30,596,879 times
Reputation: 32351
Quote:
Originally Posted by West of Encino View Post
Most of those people are in denial as to why they divorce. They will come up with any lame excuse as to why they do, covering up the fact that they really are divorcing for malicious reasons.
Your reasoning, or lack there of, never ceases to dumfound me.
Just exactly how would the person filing be in denial as to why they divorce? And what malicious reasons?

Divorce is like going thru a death, sometimes worse. Its painful, not only for yourself, but it affects other people. Its normally time consuming, drawn out and draining. Not to mention expensive. In the end the only ones that gain financially are the attorneys.
As stated by many, who have actually divorced, the actual divorce comes way after the marriage has ended and you have exhausted all efforts to save the marriage.
 
Old 04-12-2012, 07:19 AM
 
13,768 posts, read 38,101,826 times
Reputation: 10687
Quote:
Originally Posted by West of Encino View Post
I doubt that. Most of the time, those people don't appreciate what men bring to the table. Most don't even like being married or tied down to one man.

It's actually men who want to make things work. They don't give up as easily compared to the others.
Really? You know this how? My 1st husband refused to go to counselling after the 1st visit. I didn't file for divorce, he did because I wanted a separation. He could go out at night with his co-workers but I wasn't suppose to have any friends or go with them after work. I wanted to work on our marriage but he didn't need any help.

I am always amazed at how so many on here make blanket statements about women and men. We all have different experiences in life and what you experience does not mean it is true for everyone.

I once heard a lady talk about how bad her XH was... few weeks later at a party I hear a lady and man talking about how horrible his XW was. Yep.. It was her husband. I did not know him but I asked his name and found out he was her XH. It all goes to show we all view things differently
 
Old 04-12-2012, 07:57 AM
 
9,408 posts, read 13,707,867 times
Reputation: 20394
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Divorce is like going thru a death, sometimes worse. Its painful, not only for yourself, but it affects other people. Its normally time consuming, drawn out and draining. Not to mention expensive. In the end the only ones that gain financially are the attorneys.
As stated by many, who have actually divorced, the actual divorce comes way after the marriage has ended and you have exhausted all efforts to save the marriage.
Never truer words spoken 2mares.

The way some of these men around here talk about women just divorcing at the drop of a hat makes me cringe. It shows them up for being complete jackwagons because the reality is so far from their "truth".

Divorce is the last resort. I personally spent years trying to make my marriage work. Through the divorce my children suffered, my finances suffered, my friends and family suffered and psychologically it affected me for a very long time. Even to this day, 18 years later I wonder what I could have done to make it work, 18 years later and I wish my kids had parents who were still together. Divorce is tragic and sad and miserable and no-one goes into it lightly unless you are callous and selfish, which most of us aren't.

One of the reasons I can't respond to this thread is the trite replies and idiotic comments by some people. What the hell do they know...nothing.
 
Old 04-12-2012, 08:10 AM
 
Location: New Hampshire
4,866 posts, read 5,662,991 times
Reputation: 3786
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Your reasoning, or lack there of, never ceases to dumfound me.
Just exactly how would the person filing be in denial as to why they divorce? And what malicious reasons?

Divorce is like going thru a death, sometimes worse. Its painful, not only for yourself, but it affects other people. Its normally time consuming, drawn out and draining. Not to mention expensive. In the end the only ones that gain financially are the attorneys.
As stated by many, who have actually divorced, the actual divorce comes way after the marriage has ended and you have exhausted all efforts to save the marriage.
That is very true. I didn't get divorced at the drop of a hat. I tried to make things work and by the time it was all said and done I was drained mentally and emotionally. He was very abusive and I stayed because I thought he would change ( I know better now ) and thought it was all my fault. He had a violent past and I should have known better.

I moved across the country to get away from him because I feared for my life. He got all the brand new furniture (that I bought with my money since he did not work out of laziness) and all I was left with was the car that I bought and pay for and the debt since I just did not want more headaches. He had it easy.

It sucks that some of the clueless men on this board think all women are out to get their husbands and think they are ATM machines. While I know women who got the good end of the deal after their divorce, not all women are like that.

I am glad though because I don't have anything hanging over my head. Everything I own was bought with my own money and I don't rely on an ex husband for income or anything. He is getting married again this June and I feel bad for the woman because she doesn't know what's waiting for her.
 
Old 04-12-2012, 08:15 AM
 
36,100 posts, read 30,596,879 times
Reputation: 32351
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
Never truer words spoken 2mares.

The way some of these men around here talk about women just divorcing at the drop of a hat makes me cringe. It shows them up for being complete jackwagons because the reality is so far from their "truth".

Divorce is the last resort. I personally spent years trying to make my marriage work. Through the divorce my children suffered, my finances suffered, my friends and family suffered and psychologically it affected me for a very long time. Even to this day, 18 years later I wonder what I could have done to make it work, 18 years later and I wish my kids had parents who were still together. Divorce is tragic and sad and miserable and no-one goes into it lightly unless you are callous and selfish, which most of us aren't.

One of the reasons I can't respond to this thread is the trite replies and idiotic comments by some people. What the hell do they know...nothing.
I know it is pointless to try to explain or debate with some of these posters. Im sure they just post these comments to be argumentative because its obvious they have absolutely no experience or clue about the subject matter. They are usually the same that will post how divorced women, especially those with kids, are un-dateable because they are damaged goods with too much baggage and at the same time post how easily and maliciously women will divorce for absolutely no reason. Im not exactly sure how divorce can be so easy and flippant for women and at the same time cause them to have so much baggage and to be damaged goods.
 
Old 04-12-2012, 08:19 AM
 
9,408 posts, read 13,707,867 times
Reputation: 20394
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
I know it is pointless to try to explain or debate with some of these posters. Im sure they just post these comments to be argumentative because its obvious they have absolutely no experience or clue about the subject matter. They are usually the same that will post how divorced women, especially those with kids, are un-dateable because they are damaged goods with too much baggage and at the same time post how easily and maliciously women will divorce for absolutely no reason. Im not exactly sure how divorce can be so easy and flippant for women and at the same time cause them to have so much baggage and to be damaged goods.
It's merely a symptom of their base dislike of all women. We're damned if we do and damned if we don't. Some men simply despise women, they just hide it well until let loose on an internet forum.
 
Old 04-12-2012, 08:25 AM
 
Location: USA
1,818 posts, read 2,678,229 times
Reputation: 4173
Why is it women who file for divorce? Because the men are too lazy and/or incompetent to find an attorney and spend the time to take care of things.

You guys are so quick to make blanket statements about ALL women, so this is my blanket statement for the guys

My ex already had Wife No. 2 lined up and waiting when he told me he wanted a divorce and to "take care of it" and to "hurry the hell up about it."

So I did. In my state the usual language is you cannot remarry until 90 days after the divorce is final. Well . . . . I had them change it to 265 days -- LMAO!!!

He didn't read the papers, had a quickie wedding, she had money and he was waiting for her trust payment (hence the quickie wedding -- they had to be married for him to get a share). And lo and behold -- the marriage wasn't legal and he had to give the money back.

Moral: don't p*ss off a redhead who works in the legal field
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