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Old 01-03-2015, 10:32 AM
 
2,600 posts, read 3,676,086 times
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I've never been divorced but this is just a guess. I say yes. I think most of the time when a man marries a woman it's because he really, really loves her. Many women, on the other hand, will marry for security and not love. It's a lot harder to get over a divorce if you loved the person than if you really didn't. Obviously this isn't the case all the time. Just my thoughts.

 
Old 01-03-2015, 10:38 AM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,164,162 times
Reputation: 29087
Quote:
Originally Posted by YAZ View Post
So, I am in recovery mode...doing simple things to keep busy & positive.....while she has moved on. I have come to the realization that I'll never "get over it", but simply learn how to live with it.
Look at it like a mountain. You may not be able to get over it, but you can dig through it or you can go around it. Either way, you can get past it.
 
Old 01-03-2015, 10:53 AM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
8,590 posts, read 12,266,537 times
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Sorry--I don't think this is a "thing" that can be generalized by one's sex. When it comes to getting over a divorce, it's an equal opportunity mind mess.
 
Old 01-03-2015, 11:30 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,224 posts, read 84,127,726 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShinyHappyLucy View Post
I've never been divorced but this is just a guess. I say yes. I think most of the time when a man marries a woman it's because he really, really loves her. Many women, on the other hand, will marry for security and not love. It's a lot harder to get over a divorce if you loved the person than if you really didn't. Obviously this isn't the case all the time. Just my thoughts.
And I think there are just as many people who would say the opposite: That the women marry because they are in love, and the men just want regular sex and someone to take care of them.
 
Old 01-03-2015, 12:22 PM
 
9,408 posts, read 13,707,074 times
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I don't know what kind of people some of you know but my friends and acquaintances got married because they loved one another and wanted a life together. I don't think some of you have a clue why people married nor why they divorced. Speculate away.
 
Old 01-03-2015, 12:35 PM
 
1,165 posts, read 1,217,526 times
Reputation: 1030
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
There is no such thing as a "typical" woman. Every woman is different. Every man is different. Every relationship is different because no two combinations are the same.

As for "I just feel like it" being a reason why most women initiate divorces, that is beyond offensive in its misogyny. We are not children who just throw a tantrum and walk out one day, nor are we brainless flakes who float wherever the tide turns. Maybe the women you take up with are, but I can assure you that most women who file for divorce have put considerable effort into their marriages and much thought and soul-searching into their decision to leave.

Maybe one day, when you get into a real relationship, you will have a little more respect for women. Then again, if you can't respect women and take them as individuals, I wonder if that will ever happen.
With the advent of no-fault divorce, the most common cause of divorce is "irreconcilable differences". In other words, "I just felt like it". Since women initiate 70-80% of divorces, it seems like most divorces end because women just felt like it.

Sorry if you find the truth offensive, but that really says more about you than it does about me.
 
Old 01-03-2015, 12:45 PM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,246,928 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rathagos View Post
Women get the kids, the house, the car, alimony (sometimes), and child support (if the dad's not a deadbeat). What's so hard to get over for women?

.
Most times custody is shared....whoever gets the house has to buy out the other spouse and likely refinance the house...cars are split equally....rarely do women get alimony these days. No, women don't come out ahead financially.
 
Old 01-03-2015, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Nashville, TN -
9,588 posts, read 5,804,639 times
Reputation: 11116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
There is no such thing as a "typical" woman. Every woman is different. Every man is different. Every relationship is different because no two combinations are the same.

As for "I just feel like it" being a reason why most women initiate divorces, that is beyond offensive in its misogyny. We are not children who just throw a tantrum and walk out one day, nor are we brainless flakes who float wherever the tide turns. Maybe the women you take up with are, but I can assure you that most women who file for divorce have put considerable effort into their marriages and much thought and soul-searching into their decision to leave.

Maybe one day, when you get into a real relationship, you will have a little more respect for women. Then again, if you can't respect women and take them as individuals, I wonder if that will ever happen.
Excellent!
 
Old 01-03-2015, 01:13 PM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,164,162 times
Reputation: 29087
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cristo666 View Post
With the advent of no-fault divorce, the most common cause of divorce is "irreconcilable differences". In other words, "I just felt like it". Since women initiate 70-80% of divorces, it seems like most divorces end because women just felt like it.

Sorry if you find the truth offensive, but that really says more about you than it does about me.
NO, that is NOT what "irreconcilable differences" means. Irreconcilable differences means the partners cannot agree on the fundamentals of the marriage.

Examples:

A couple initially agrees that there will be no kids, and then one develops a desire to have children while the other does not. (Reason for mine.)

A couple initially agrees they will have kids, and then one decides he or she does NOT want children.

One develops a desire to have an open marriage.

One partner in an open marriage decides he or she no longer wants that kind of marriage.

One partner converts to a different religion with extremely different values and way of life.

One partner wants to expatriate and the other does not.

Long and protracted financial duress owing to any number of issues with one or both partners, including gambling or flat-out irresponsibility.

And yes, Cristo, in case you missed it, people do fall out of love, fight all the time, and in general become miserable in each other's presence. That is not "I just felt like it" either.

You need to do some serious research before you go talking about these things. You have never been married. You have never been divorced. And if I recall correctly, you have never even really been in a long-term relationship. The way I see it, you are discussing things you know absolutely nothing about. Maybe your penchant for doing so is something to discuss with your therapist.
 
Old 01-03-2015, 01:15 PM
 
Location: Canada
11,761 posts, read 11,970,194 times
Reputation: 30218
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cristo666 View Post
With the advent of no-fault divorce, the most common cause of divorce is "irreconcilable differences". In other words, "I just felt like it". Since women initiate 70-80% of divorces, it seems like most divorces end because women just felt like it.

Sorry if you find the truth offensive, but that really says more about you than it does about me.
Irreconcilable differences is a catch-all term for any no-fault reason for divorce, meaning no adultery or abuse. How about you stick to working on your personal issues instead of casting stones at women about marriage and divorce, neither of which you have any experience with.
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