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Old 10-13-2008, 03:03 PM
 
1,072 posts, read 2,698,431 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Cat View Post
I am pretty sure he'll pay for a new tattoo.
Well, I know quite a few people with tattooes, including tattooes of names of their former spouses/ girlfriends. I can tell you this:

It's NOT that the woman wants to keep her ex's name on her body. More than likely, it's about her wanting to remove it on her own time. Yes, I know, ideally, by the time she broke up w/ her ex, she should have IMMEDIATELY gone back to the parlor to have it patched up w/ something else on top of the ex's name. BUT, since it's probably something she NO longer thinks about on a daily basis (come on, who on Earth LOOKS @ their privates every single second? People tend to "feel it" more often than looking @ it ).

However, now that her boyfriend makes a big issue out of it and WANTS HER to have it out of her body is seen as a control maneuver from his part. It's her body, therefore, it's UP TO HER as far as WHEN to remove it.

I know people that still have tattooes of their exes on their bodies, and happily married for years. Not a big deal.
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Old 10-13-2008, 03:12 PM
 
1,818 posts, read 3,087,711 times
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Why is it than when someone get's involved with another, that everything is fine...like smoking, tattoo's or whatever. But when the the relationship becomes more serious, they want the things that they were aware of before...changed??? It makes no sense to me.
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Old 10-13-2008, 03:14 PM
 
1,072 posts, read 2,698,431 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sassyone View Post
Why is it than when someone get's involved with another, that everything is fine...like smoking, tattoo's or whatever. But when the the relationship becomes more serious, they want the things that they were aware of before...changed??? It makes no sense to me.
EXACTLY my point! You either accept the person AS IS from the beginning, or not at all. Having someone trying to change you (for the other person's sake of... well... whatever they "think" is the ideal companion "should be") does not produce a feel-good relationship.
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Old 10-13-2008, 03:38 PM
 
Location: in my imagination
13,562 posts, read 21,335,031 times
Reputation: 10053
Quote:
Originally Posted by sms0511 View Post
EXACTLY my point! You either accept the person AS IS from the beginning, or not at all. Having someone trying to change you (for the other person's sake of... well... whatever they "think" is the ideal companion "should be") does not produce a feel-good relationship.
The first few dates or weeks or maybe even months it isn't exactly cool to say "now that we are dating time to get that removed"

I already had a dislike of tats but honestly a guys name really is a slap on insult.It is sorta like in conversation constantly saying "well my ex use to do that,or use to be like that".

Would you ladies mind if your guy kept a photo of his ex on your nightstand?
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Old 10-13-2008, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Not tied down... maybe later! *rawr*
2,689 posts, read 6,919,481 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking View Post
Well it is a thorn in the side that reminds that "he was there before you" or "she loved him first".

Either way sexually or mentally not cool.
I'd have to say that's insecurity on the part of whom she's with now. It's not like they're 14 or 15 and this is their first relationship ever. They're grown adults and have a past. I have piercings I got for specific reasons and no, unless I felt like it, would I remove them for anyone. It's her body, she can do whatever she wants with it.


Honestly, if this is the biggest problem they have... stop sweatin' the small stuff. If a tattoo of someone's name is the make or break deal, then someone has a tad bit of growing up to do... or a lot, depending on how you wanna look at it.
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Old 10-13-2008, 04:28 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
11,376 posts, read 24,364,602 times
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Maybe your friend could change his name to match the tattoo?
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Old 10-13-2008, 04:31 PM
 
13,783 posts, read 26,210,342 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie View Post
Maybe your friend could change his name to match the tattoo?
OK, this is the best idea yet
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Old 10-13-2008, 04:31 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes +
5,553 posts, read 6,726,338 times
Reputation: 8575
Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking View Post
Well it is a thorn in the side that reminds that "he was there before you" or "she loved him first".

Either way sexually or mentally not cool.
Sorry - she had the tattoo before she met him - she didn't put it there after she met him. Now that's cool. And a thorn is as big as you make it.
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Old 10-13-2008, 04:34 PM
 
Location: CITY OF ANGELS AND CONSTANT DANGER
5,408 posts, read 12,637,460 times
Reputation: 2270
a tattoo is no big deal. a tattoo of an ex is also no big deal. maybe its a reminder of what not to accept in a relationship. a reminder that what she had with that guy is a stain on her judgement. its a reminder to do better.

in the end who knows why she keeps it. what if she had a tattoo of a magic mushroom from here younger hippie days. and lets say that homeboy is straight edge. no drugs no nothing. and homegirl is a reformed druggie. would he ask her to remove it as well? maybe its a reminder of her drug use and her past? a reminder to do better.

who knows tho
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Old 10-13-2008, 04:34 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes +
5,553 posts, read 6,726,338 times
Reputation: 8575
Quote:
Originally Posted by sassyone View Post
Why is it than when someone get's involved with another, that everything is fine...like smoking, tattoo's or whatever. But when the the relationship becomes more serious, they want the things that they were aware of before...changed??? It makes no sense to me.
That's usually after the honeymoon and beginning of real life.
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